The Psychology of Online Dating

2qt · 07-25-2017, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by girl_dee

do you consider long distance dating, online dating?

I feel there is just too much stigma given to the words Online/Real life, local/LD.... Dating I think is just how one views it... Some consider it just online dating whilst others see it as something much deeper & much more personal to them...

Why can't we just name it.... Getting to know someone? The word dating seems to box it into this little square of perception that dating is only possible if it's done in real time or if they live within x amount of miles from me.... I don't feel that to be true... You often can't control who you fall for... Love is just love...

For me it was much more personal then just an online date thing... I was spending the same amount of my real time quality time getting to know my potential partner then as I would in my real life...

If you want something to work it's like anything... Effort needs to be made & you need to know what it is you're both reaching for & you're both on the same page otherwise it will never work...

girl_dee · 07-25-2017, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2qt

I feel there is just too much stigma given to the words Online/Real life, local/LD.... Dating I think is just how one views it... Some consider it just online dating whilst others see it as something much deeper & much more personal to them...

Why can't we just name it.... Getting to know someone? The word dating seems to box it into this little square of perception that dating is only possible if it's done in real time or if they live within x amount of miles from me.... I don't feel that to be true... You often can't control who you fall for... Love is just love...

For me it was much more personal then just an online date thing... I was spending the same amount of my real time quality time getting to know my potential partner then as I would in my real life...

If you want something to work it's like anything... Effort needs to be made & you need to know what it is you're both reaching for & you're both on the same page otherwise it will never work...

i have been thinking about this and i get it.

The OP mentioned people not getting the *dating * part... that people want a marriage before the courtship...i don't get that either.

IMO i cannot know someone until have been with them in person... the energy has to be right, so i could not date strictly online and definately could not plan a future with anyone i have not been with in person.

i think people are sometimes just in a lustmance and confuse with being in love.

Lyte · 07-25-2017, 05:45 PM

A few years ago... *cough* ... this gal and I came up with a feeling and a corresponding phrase that described how we felt for one another. It was quite a bit more than like ... but not quite love... we decided we were In Lust with one another. Yup... definitely ... In Lust!

Quote:

Originally Posted by girl_dee

i think people are sometimes just in a lustmance and confuse with being in love.

girl_dee · 07-25-2017, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lyte

A few years ago... *cough* ... this gal and I came up with a feeling and a corresponding phrase that described how we felt for one another. It was quite a bit more than like ... but not quite love... we were In Lust with one another. Yup... definitely ... In Lust!

and there is NOTHING wrong with that! As long as you both know where you stand, or lay... who cares! Enjoy it!

Lyte · 07-25-2017, 05:50 PM

Absolutely! There's nothing wrong with that at all!

Quote:

Originally Posted by girl_dee

and there is NOTHING wrong with that! As long as you both know where you stand, or lay... who cares! Enjoy it!

*Anya* · 07-25-2017, 05:59 PM

There are as many definitions of date or dating as almost the number of days in a month:

noun
1.
a particular month, day, and year at which some event happened or will happen:
July 4, 1776 was the date of the signing of the Declaration of Independence.

2.
the day of the month:
Is today's date the 7th or the 8th?

3. an inscription on a writing, coin, etc., that shows the time, or time and place, of writing, casting, delivery, etc.:
a letter bearing the date January 16.

4.
the time or period to which any event or thing belongs; period in general:
at a late date.

5.
the time during which anything lasts; duration:
The pity is that childhood has so short a date.

6.
an appointment for a particular time:
They have a date with their accountant at ten o'clock.

7.
a social appointment or engagement arranged beforehand with another person, especially when a romantic relationship exists or may develop:
to go out on a Saturday night date.

verb (used without object), dated, dating.

11.
to have or bear a date:
The letter dates from 1873.

12.
to belong to a particular period; have its origin:
That dress dates from the 19th century. The architecture dates as far back as 1830.

13.
to reckon from some point in time:
The custom dates from the days when women wore longer skirts.

14.
to go out socially on dates:
She dated a lot during high school.
verb (used with object), dated, dating.

15.
to mark or furnish with a date:
Please date the check as of today.

16.
to ascertain or fix the period or point in time of; assign a period or point in time to:
The archaeologist dated the ruins as belonging to the early Minoan period.

17.
to show the age of; show to be old-fashioned.

18.
to make a date with; go out on dates with:
He's been dating his best friend's sister.

Idioms
19.
to date, up to the present time; until now:
This is his best book to date.

20.
up to date, in agreement with or inclusive of the latest information; modern:
Bring us up to date on the news.

BullDog · 07-25-2017, 06:03 PM

I think the hardest part is being able to spend a lot of time in person before making a long term commitment. It is logistically not easy - unless online where you live locally or not too far apart.

kittygrrl · 07-25-2017, 05:52 PM

I don't see online dating as a substitute for actually being physically in someone's real time life. There is a point where that becomes necessary but getting to know someone in a forum isn't a big bad boogey man and as relevant as any other kind of meeting (to me). It's worked for me fine but if it doesn't work for you, that is also fine. This is a place to share ideas and experience but it stops where you want it to. I think this works for everybody-

07-25-2017, 05:59 PM	#6
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,445 Times in 7,285 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	What is the dictionary definition of date or dating? I guess I use #7, #14, according to Dictionary.com There are as many definitions of date or dating as almost the number of days in a month: noun 1. a particular month, day, and year at which some event happened or will happen: July 4, 1776 was the date of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. 2. the day of the month: Is today's date the 7th or the 8th? 3. an inscription on a writing, coin, etc., that shows the time, or time and place, of writing, casting, delivery, etc.: a letter bearing the date January 16. 4. the time or period to which any event or thing belongs; period in general: at a late date. 5. the time during which anything lasts; duration: The pity is that childhood has so short a date. 6. an appointment for a particular time: They have a date with their accountant at ten o'clock. 7. a social appointment or engagement arranged beforehand with another person, especially when a romantic relationship exists or may develop: to go out on a Saturday night date. verb (used without object), dated, dating. 11. to have or bear a date: The letter dates from 1873. 12. to belong to a particular period; have its origin: That dress dates from the 19th century. The architecture dates as far back as 1830. 13. to reckon from some point in time: The custom dates from the days when women wore longer skirts. 14. to go out socially on dates: She dated a lot during high school. verb (used with object), dated, dating. 15. to mark or furnish with a date: Please date the check as of today. 16. to ascertain or fix the period or point in time of; assign a period or point in time to: The archaeologist dated the ruins as belonging to the early Minoan period. 17. to show the age of; show to be old-fashioned. 18. to make a date with; go out on dates with: He's been dating his best friend's sister. Idioms 19. to date, up to the present time; until now: This is his best book to date. 20. up to date, in agreement with or inclusive of the latest information; modern: Bring us up to date on the news. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner Last edited by Anya; 07-25-2017 at 06:01 PM. Reason: Finger slipped

07-25-2017, 06:03 PM	#7
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,640 Times in 4,463 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I think the hardest part is being able to spend a lot of time in person before making a long term commitment. It is logistically not easy - unless online where you live locally or not too far apart. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

07-25-2017, 05:52 PM	#8
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: witchy Preferred Pronoun?: gf Relationship Status: Uranus will retrograde in Gemini Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: in the wild mushrooms Posts: 9,645 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,704 Thanked 22,135 Times in 7,206 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	I don't see online dating as a substitute for actually being physically in someone's real time life. There is a point where that becomes necessary but getting to know someone in a forum isn't a big bad boogey man and as relevant as any other kind of meeting (to me). It's worked for me fine but if it doesn't work for you, that is also fine. This is a place to share ideas and experience but it stops where you want it to. I think this works for everybody- __________________ "We're nine meals from anarchy"" Lewis