Caregivers and Stress

Teddybear · 07-27-2017, 06:12 PM

uggggg.....

How do you get them to listen???!!! I come home to her telling me what we HAVE to do after doctor appts on Monday. I said ok and then asked her do you have everything your are suppose to do finished?

"NO but we can take this down to the lawyer and then I will just put this other stuff here with my will."

"Wait you told me that you had to give it to the lawyer once you finished it so that it could be included with your will"

Its been months and every other day she changes what she wants and how she wants things done.

I don't know what she wants because it has changes so often. I sometimes wonder if she keeps changing it with me to keep me off balance. She is great at pushing buttons and of course our parents know what buttons to push they installed them.

Just needed a vent moment. I know that no matter what she will do exactly what she wants.

girl_dee · 07-31-2017, 03:01 PM

i had a hard convo with my mom, then found out the things she told me are not even true.

i have concerns about ending up like her one day.

Then i start thinking thats exactly the kind of thing she would do.

i've never had a maternal mom, but i still miss the old her that i could at least talk to.

Teddybear · 08-08-2017, 07:10 PM

So this past weekend I got my time off. Well there was drama prior to me leaving but I stood firm and left. Had a great time.

Things with Momma have taken a turn and not for the better. We think she may have had a small stroke. CT has been ordered hopefully this week.

I could go on however I'm whooped and need sleep

Have a good evening

Teddybear · 08-14-2017, 07:51 PM

I could bite a 10penny nail in two.

Got Momma back into the ER. She had a CT scan and it showed a stroke. The doctor called said getting her to the ER for this and that. We have been here 5+ hours and we still don't know any DAMM thing.

Answers dammit. Like NOW

My brothers want to know why I haven't told them I thought it was a stroke when it happened. I'm like as y'all keep reminding me I am NOT a doctor.

I'm just done with the inadequate care I feel my mom is getting. It is extremely frustrating to say the least.

MsTinkerbelly · 08-14-2017, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teddybear

I could bite a 10penny nail in two.

Got Momma back into the ER. She had a CT scan and it showed a stroke. The doctor called said getting her to the ER for this and that. We have been here 5+ hours and we still don't know any DAMM thing.

Answers dammit. Like NOW

My brothers want to know why I haven't told them I thought it was a stroke when it happened. I'm like as y'all keep reminding me I am NOT a doctor.

I'm just done with the inadequate care I feel my mom is getting. It is extremely frustrating to say the least.

When parents get to be "of an age", Doctor's seem to forget they are people loved by their family. When my Mom was on dialysis, we struggled to keep her blood pressure high enough to complete her sessions. One day her doctor looked at me and said, "let her eat whatever she wants, let her smoke if it makes her happy"... I looked at him and he nodded....he had given up on her getting any better.

She was only 70 years old, and he didn't feel she was worth a try.

Teddybear · 08-14-2017, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsTinkerbelly

When parents get to be "of an age", Doctor's seem to forget they are people loved by their family. When my Mom was on dialysis, we struggled to keep her blood pressure high enough to complete her sessions. One day her doctor looked at me and said, "let her eat whatever she wants, let her smoke if it makes her happy"... I looked at him and he nodded....he had given up on her getting any better.

She was only 70 years old, and he didn't feel she was worth a try.

Sorry you had to deal with that. It's a shame it has come to this.

Oh my mom is only 70 and I refuse to let them think she isn't worth it. And they KNOW it.

I research everything and talk to them like I am a colleague. I can carry on that conversation and they have yet to try and out do me I am sure because I come prepared.

I am hoping they finish and let her go home with an appointment for tomorrow or keep her right now it do something time or I may show my a$$

girl_dee · 08-15-2017, 03:02 AM

that is another perspective, dealing with the medical teams in regards to our parents.

my mom isn't speaking to me right now, but maybe that's better than the heartache that comes after i do talk to her.

This cold shoulder is bringing up lots of "stuff" and none of it is any good.

Hard to talk about.

07-27-2017, 06:12 PM	#1
Teddybear Senior Member How Do You Identify?: by my name Preferred Pronoun?: He, him Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Here there everywhere. Posts: 2,097 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,620 Thanked 6,233 Times in 1,687 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	uggggg..... How do you get them to listen???!!! I come home to her telling me what we HAVE to do after doctor appts on Monday. I said ok and then asked her do you have everything your are suppose to do finished? "NO but we can take this down to the lawyer and then I will just put this other stuff here with my will." "Wait you told me that you had to give it to the lawyer once you finished it so that it could be included with your will" Its been months and every other day she changes what she wants and how she wants things done. I don't know what she wants because it has changes so often. I sometimes wonder if she keeps changing it with me to keep me off balance. She is great at pushing buttons and of course our parents know what buttons to push they installed them. Just needed a vent moment. I know that no matter what she will do exactly what she wants. __________________ I am ME take me as I am or leave me be..

08-08-2017, 07:10 PM	#3
Teddybear Senior Member How Do You Identify?: by my name Preferred Pronoun?: He, him Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Here there everywhere. Posts: 2,097 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,620 Thanked 6,233 Times in 1,687 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Update So this past weekend I got my time off. Well there was drama prior to me leaving but I stood firm and left. Had a great time. Things with Momma have taken a turn and not for the better. We think she may have had a small stroke. CT has been ordered hopefully this week. I could go on however I'm whooped and need sleep Have a good evening __________________ I am ME take me as I am or leave me be..

08-14-2017, 07:51 PM	#4
Teddybear Senior Member How Do You Identify?: by my name Preferred Pronoun?: He, him Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Here there everywhere. Posts: 2,097 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,620 Thanked 6,233 Times in 1,687 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I could bite a 10penny nail in two. Got Momma back into the ER. She had a CT scan and it showed a stroke. The doctor called said getting her to the ER for this and that. We have been here 5+ hours and we still don't know any DAMM thing. Answers dammit. Like NOW My brothers want to know why I haven't told them I thought it was a stroke when it happened. I'm like as y'all keep reminding me I am NOT a doctor. I'm just done with the inadequate care I feel my mom is getting. It is extremely frustrating to say the least. __________________ I am ME take me as I am or leave me be..

07-31-2017, 03:01 PM	#2
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,829 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	i had a hard convo with my mom, then found out the things she told me are not even true. i have concerns about ending up like her one day. Then i start thinking thats exactly the kind of thing she would do. i've never had a maternal mom, but i still miss the old her that i could at least talk to.

08-15-2017, 03:02 AM	#7
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,829 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	that is another perspective, dealing with the medical teams in regards to our parents. my mom isn't speaking to me right now, but maybe that's better than the heartache that comes after i do talk to her. This cold shoulder is bringing up lots of "stuff" and none of it is any good. Hard to talk about.