The Psychology of Online Dating

[BullDog]

Originally Posted by Lyte

I do differentiate humans' capacity for love from the capacity of a higher power to love.

This part of your post really struck me. I'm just bouncing off that because my idea here might not be quite what you were referring to, but I did like your post.

I think as a human being I have both a limited capacity and an unlimited capacity to love. My limits are I only have so much energy, time, strength, courage, etc. and there are also the healthy boundaries several people have discussed.

Where the unlimited capacity comes in is I have loved a few people in my life where I did feel my love continue to grow and grow. You think you love someone as much as you possibly can and then the next day you love them even more. Not from some crazy frentic ‌infautation, or because you had great sex the night before or the person did something amazing for you, but just from having that close connection that much longer. To me that is an amazing and beautiful thing. I think a similar thing can happen with loving yourself, loving family, friends or other non-romantic forms of love, loving your art or vocation or calling.

So I do think as humans we do have limits to our love and boundaries that are critical, but we also have the unlimited capacity to love when the conditions are right, and that is one of the most amazing qualities that humans have.

[Lyte]

This part of your post really struck me... back!

The "...when the conditions are right..." is what makes me say I don't believe human beings are capable of ... unconditionally, indiscriminately and selflessly love. And it's true for me too! And it's what I hope is true for my particular higher power.

I use the HP term just because not everyone believes the same one.

Originally Posted by BullDog

So I do think as humans we do have limits to our love and boundaries that are critical, but we also have the unlimited capacity to love when the conditions are right, and that is one of the most amazing qualities that humans have.

[Lyte]

Opps... my BFP proofreader just advised me...

And it's what I hope is not true for my particular higher power.

Originally Posted by Lyte

The "...when the conditions are right..." is what makes me say I don't believe human beings are capable of ... unconditionally, indiscriminately and selflessly love. And it's true for me too! And it's what I hope is true for my particular higher power.

[kittygrrl]

I feel a little differently...the conditions to love are never perfect..that's just wishful thinking that you may get that perfect person who deserves all your love..we aren't made that way because even in the midst of greatness we are flawed..you just have to take your chances and do your best to make good choices and hopefully you will find a partner (when you are open) who shares your interests and your temperaments compliment each other.

yin (to his) yang

[BullDog]

I don't think conditions or people (definitely including me) are perfect either. But there are some conditions and people who make it more conducive to having a healthier and deeper love - for me. I connect more deeply and closer to some people more than others - it's just a combination of things that allows it to occur. And someone I might not form a deep connection with can certainly form a deep connection with someone else.