About Butches Q & A

[Deborah*]

I would like to know what percent of butches do you think are attracted to femmes? And what percent to butches?
I've always been curious about this.

Deborah

[Lyte]

Well.... I'm thinking your data is likely to be a bit squed since this is a Butch/Femme site. Even so, there are some Butches on here who have said they like other Butches.

As for a % ... I couldn't say ... but... you can count me among the Femme fan gang. <~~ say that five times fast!

Originally Posted by Deborah*

I would like to know what percent of butches do you think are attracted to femmes? And what percent to butches?
I've always been curious about this.

Deborah

[Deborah*]

Again I'm asking.. please answer, I've been curious and would like to know.

What percent of butches do you think are attracted to femmes, and what percent are attracted to butches? To clarify, I'm not referring to this website, but the public in general.

Deborah

[Teddybear]

Originally Posted by Deborah*

Again I'm asking.. please answer, I've been curious and would like to know.

What percent of butches do you think are attracted to femmes, and what percent are attracted to butches? To clarify, I'm not referring to this website, but the public in general.

Deborah

I dont think there has been a study on this. I know that each of us no matter how we ID is ever changing.

I wish you luck getting this answer

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Deborah*

Again I'm asking.. please answer, I've been curious and would like to know.

What percent of butches do you think are attracted to femmes, and what percent are attracted to butches? To clarify, I'm not referring to this website, but the public in general.

Deborah

My only experiences of butches is online B-F forums over the 15+ I have been on them. It is rare to see a butch interested another butch. “In real life”, I mainly see androgynous lesbians/soft butches, and they are interested in each other. I live in the mid atlantic/north east states.

[Deborah*]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

My only experiences of butches is online B-F forums over the 15+ I have been on them. It is rare to see a butch interested another butch. “In real life”, I mainly see androgynous lesbians/soft butches, and they are interested in each other. I live in the mid atlantic/north east states.

Thanks Dapper.

Deborah

[JDeere]

I dont think a study has been done on this.

But i havent bern on bfp long enough to really think about the percentages.

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by Deborah*

Again I'm asking.. please answer, I've been curious and would like to know.

What percent of butches do you think are attracted to femmes, and what percent are attracted to butches? To clarify, I'm not referring to this website, but the public in general.

Deborah

I doubt that anyone would be willing or able to give you a number. It varies wildly from region to region. For instance, I've met a relatively large number of butch women who partner with other butches in the Bay Area of the US, and similarly found that there are plenty of regions in the US and Canada where there just aren't very many butches of any type. At all. I really have trouble figuring that one out. Then there's the problem of self identification varying from place to place and generation to generation. In some places the women who might identify as butch don't seem at all butch to me because I'm accustomed to a specific style of presentation, and those self identified butches would never ping my radar. And then I meet younger people who I would most certainly call butch, but they would never call themselves that. They identify as genderqueer, stud, ag, MOC, or anything else as long as it's not butch. So they may look like butches partnering with other butches, but that's far from how they would categorize themselves.

I'm sorry to tell you that your question doesn't have an answer.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

I doubt that anyone would be willing or able to give you a number. It varies wildly from region to region. For instance, I've met a relatively large number of butch women who partner with other butches in the Bay Area of the US, and similarly found that there are plenty of regions in the US and Canada where there just aren't very many butches of any type. At all. I really have trouble figuring that one out. Then there's the problem of self identification varying from place to place and generation to generation. In some places the women who might identify as butch don't seem at all butch to me because I'm accustomed to a specific style of presentation, and those self identified butches would never ping my radar. And then I meet younger people who I would most certainly call butch, but they would never call themselves that. They identify as genderqueer, stud, ag, MOC, or anything else as long as it's not butch. So they may look like butches partnering with other butches, but that's far from how they would categorize themselves.

I'm sorry to tell you that your question doesn't have an answer.

Exactly. Perfect, perfect, perfect. Everything you listed.

In regards to what imperfect cupcake said about people (in this case butches), not being honest and having dates or slept with other butches, that is something that I have never considered. I think it is pretty ridiculous to not be upfront about that. I have never slept with a butch, but who the heck cares? I guess I get it though, people are so worried about what others think. Is it like a person is a "gold star butch" to have never slept with anyone but a femme?

[imperfect_cupcake]

I don't think I've ever known a butch who has slept with *only* self identified femmes.
there are
straight women
feminine androgynous dykes/just me lesbians
men
genderqueers of all kinds
various kinds of butches
lipstick lesbians
etc etc

I think it would be very, very rare for someone to have only had sex from puberty till now with only self IDing femmes.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake

I don't think I've ever known a butch who has slept with *only* self identified femmes.
there are
straight women
feminine androgynous dykes/just me lesbians
men
genderqueers of all kinds
various kinds of butches
lipstick lesbians
etc etc

I think it would be very, very rare for someone to have only had sex from puberty till now with only self IDing femmes.

I know you weren't directing this at me, but my post saying that I have never slept with a butch may have prompted your thoughts. I said that because you said you didn't think there was anyone who had not had sex with a butch at some point. I really haven't. Whether they identified as butch, or just looked masculine, I really haven't slept with any masculine presenting females, nor any females who had "masculine energy". Just like people who haven't had sex with someone of the same sex or with someone of the opposite sex, I have personally not had sex with someone who presents/has the energy of a butch/masculine female.

I have slept with two "straight women", but didn't have relationships with them.

My preference is to date/partner with queer femmes. I don't believe I would partner with a "straight woman". Even though I have medically and socially transitioned to "male", I am still queer and a woman who has only ever lived as "straight" and has only ever "lived" in the mainstream, heterosexual community just would not suit me. They wouldn't "get me".

But, like Cheryl said there are a lot of people who "ping" as butch (or femme) to us that don't identify that way.

[cathexis]

Originally Posted by Deborah*

I would like to know what percent of butches do you think are attracted to femmes? And what percent to butches?
I've always been curious about this.

Deborah

How's about a genderqueer leaning a little towards butch who is only attracted to butches and other genderqueers.

What's that do to the survey? lol

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by Deborah*

I would like to know what percent of butches do you think are attracted to femmes? And what percent to butches?
I've always been curious about this.

Deborah

I don't know, I've lived in a few different countries and several citites... and the places that had dyke bars and genderqueer pubs/night clubs...

I'd say most butches had flexibility. Kinda like most people. Most butches liked tomboy femmes, some practical femmes, androgynous types, other butches of various types.
Most butches I knew, hung out with, got with, even married, had *one* butch-butch relationship in their past at the very least.

It's rare I know butches who *strictly* absolutely no exception whatsoever, EVER, see femmes. Most have shagged a butch or an androgynous dyke or had relationships with them, either when there are no femmes around, and they can't deal with screwing married straight women anymore, OR they meet an androgynous/butch dyke with "feminine" traits they recognise as attractive and they have an epiphany about relationships.

I'd say butch-femme -strictly, no exception- is not common.

that's not what people will tell you on some message boards of FB groups but I also know what people say amongst other butches and in front of femmes, and where they have actually shagged is another matter.

people have standard deviation lengths that they will allow away from core attractions. It's a matter of how wide those standard deviations are, and how many someone finds acceptable (how fluid someone is in attraction).