Stone Femme?

[dark_crystal]

Stone butches will experience me as stone, non-stone butches will experience me as flexible.

The receptive role is default for me, but I will provide any service that is requested, and enjoy both being asked and being complaint. They do have to request it, though, i am never going to seek out the active role.

I enjoy performing those services but i don't feel deprived when i am with someone who does not request any particular thing. Some butches are into queening and some never take off their pants and i'm just there making sure they get what they need.

[Medusa]

I happy with responses from all identities on whatever I post in here jtbo.

I checked back to see if I had ever posted in here and was surprised to see that I hadn't (or maybe not surprised).

I've never identified as a StoneFemme but have been identified as a StoneFemme based on being partnered to folks who identified as Stone or "Touch me not" (their term).
The thing I remember from back in the day on the Dash site is how surprised I was to find that there are folks out there who don't enjoy certain things. Granted, I was 22 when I found the Dash site and had dated/partnered with people up until that point where anything went. So began my education!

I remember reading that some folks used the term "Stone" to mean "very", as in "I'm Femme and never take on or am perceived as any other identity", and that's an oversimplification but the gist of it was more about identity than sexual behavior.
Because some of those StoneFemmes would talk openly about the kind of sex they were having with their partners and it didn't sound like anything was out of bounds.
Still, overwhelmingly I think "Stone" is defined by what touch is and is not allowed.

I dated someone in my very early 20s (who has never been a member of the B-F community but who did identify as Butch) who said that nothing was off-limits with her sexually but I found that wasn't true. I don't think she was misrepresenting herself or anything, just that she saw herself as a lot freer with her sexual boundaries than she actually was. And this is not a judgment at all, just an observation on her own self-perception.
I did find myself a little frustrated toward the end of our time dating because I found myself in the position of "always receiver", which was GREAT, but wasn't as fulfilling for me as being a full participant would have been.
(and yes, I'm being delicate here LOL)

Navigating desire can be tricky for sure but I have found that being 100% honest about what you do and don't like right up front goes a long way. And you know? It's ok to say to someone "I am not really into x, y, z right now but that could change", as long as it's not a dangling carrot or a manipulative thing.
We certainly don't owe access to our bodies to anyone and we always always always get to define our desires for ourselves. I've been super appreciative of the people I have dated who were in touch with their desires enough to say to me "Yeah, I am not ever going to want x, y, z" because if that x,y,z thing is something that REALLY does it for me sexually, I definitely want to know right up front if that is available to me or not.

EH, I'm rambling but hell, it's been a while since I've posted anything other than bullshit so here it is. LOL

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Medusa

SNIP
I've never identified as a StoneFemme but have been identified as a StoneFemme based on being partnered to folks who identified as Stone or "Touch me not" (their term).

This. This is what i was referring to earlier.

[dark_crystal]

Originally Posted by dark_crystal

Stone butches will experience me as stone, non-stone butches will experience me as flexible.

The receptive role is default for me, but I will provide any service that is requested, and enjoy both being asked and being complaint. They do have to request it, though, i am never going to seek out the active role.

I enjoy performing those services but i don't feel deprived when i am with someone who does not request any particular thing. Some butches are into queening and some never take off their pants and i'm just there making sure they get what they need.

Reply to rep q: "Queening" = facesitting