OFOS Butches & Femmes

[~ocean]

Boots it's a undefined line these days ~ but if she did the asking out ,she should have picked up the tab unless she said differently. Obviously you seem very independent and wouldn't mind paying your way.. be glad you found out she sounds like a little girl btwn the sheets to be that petty. Maybe it would be in your class of butch' to look into gay .professional woman. Here in Boston it's a common way to meet people with more desirable character. A true OFOS butch are RARE !

[Bootsandheels]

Originally Posted by homoe

I've been around A LONG time and even I didn't know the history of fashion and its effects on why doors were opened, etc! I learned something new today and that's always a good thing

Originally Posted by ~ocean

Boots it's a undefined line these days ~ but if she did the asking out ,she should have picked up the tab unless she said differently. Obviously you seem very independent and wouldn't mind paying your way.. be glad you found out she sounds like a little girl btwn the sheets to be that petty. Maybe it would be in your class of butch' to look into gay .professional woman. Here in Boston it's a common way to meet people with more desirable character. A true OFOS butch are RARE !

EXACTLY! Thank you Ocean for posting this, and YES I am a very strong independent fierce OFOS femme. If she hadn't also been showing all the other signs of chivalry openly (opening all doors, shielding me on the sidewalk, hand at the small of my back to help guide me across a busy street in my 3.5" heels...etc.) I would have thought mayyyybe I should rethink it all. But she did invite and ask every.single.time. I believe you are right about between the sheets...and YES...OFOS butches are more rare than we are I am certain of it! Sigh...a girl can dream and check the professional lesbian meet ups...LOL

[BullDog]

I do consider myself to be an old school butch, and I definitely think it's wrong for anyone to try to hold something over your head after the fact. Most old school butches I know - including myself - it is our pleasure to pay for a date and definitely not a burden or something to throw back at someone if things don't go our way later.

I also don't think it is just specifically old school or a dating situation. If I pay for something, or give a gift or help someone out in some way it is genuinely because I want to do it and there are no strings attached. I'm not going to complain about something later after the fact when I did it because I wanted to do it in the first place and it was my decision and pleasure to do it. If someone wants double dutch or some other type of dating arrangement then it's their right to express that too, but throwing something back in your face after the fact is definitely rude. So perhaps this person isn't an old school butch, but I also think it is rude no matter how they i.d.

Edit: I also think there could be situations where a butch was very much old school but perhaps had a limited income or some other situation that made it difficult to always pay and there could still be a strong old school dynamic. It is more about how you treat someone and how you conduct yourself, but paying for a date is usually something an old school butch genuinely does take pleasure in when they can do it.

[Bootsandheels]

Originally Posted by BullDog

I do consider myself to be an old school butch, and I definitely think it's wrong for anyone to try to hold something over your head after the fact. Most old school butches I know - including myself - it is our pleasure to pay for a date and definitely not a burden or something to throw back at someone if things don't go our way later.

I also don't think it is just specifically old school or a dating situation. If I pay for something, or give a gift or help someone out in some way it is genuinely because I want to do it and there are no strings attached. I'm not going to complain about something later after the fact when I did it because I wanted to do it in the first place and it was my decision and pleasure to do it. If someone wants double dutch or some other type of dating arrangement then it's their right to express that too, but throwing something back in your face after the fact is definitely rude. So perhaps this person isn't an old school butch, but I also think it is rude no matter how they i.d.

Edit: I also think there could be situations where a butch was very much old school but perhaps had a limited income or some other situation that made it difficult to always pay and there could still be a strong old school dynamic. It is more about how you treat someone and how you conduct yourself, but paying for a date is usually something an old school butch genuinely does take pleasure in when they can do it.

Thank you so much for posting this Bulldog, much appreciated, and thank you for validating me. Your last paragraph was exactly why I was confused, because this pleasure was always evident in other dating situations and I thought it was quite petty. Even though this butch thought she was OFOS, she definitely is not. I am always very sensitive to finances too...and it is more about how you are treated than how much is being spent. It's about the heart and soul...the connection and magic of the dynamic!

[firegal]

For fucks sake i cant rep u Bull... i agree whole heartily .....lolcomputers.... WTF

[homoe]

Originally Posted by BullDog

I do consider myself to be an old school butch, and I definitely think it's wrong for anyone to try to hold something over your head after the fact. Most old school butches I know - including myself - it is our pleasure to pay for a date and definitely not a burden or something to throw back at someone if things don't go our way later.

I also don't think it is just specifically old school or a dating situation. If I pay for something, or give a gift or help someone out in some way it is genuinely because I want to do it and there are no strings attached. I'm not going to complain about something later after the fact when I did it because I wanted to do it in the first place and it was my decision and pleasure to do it. If someone wants double dutch or some other type of dating arrangement then it's their right to express that too, but throwing something back in your face after the fact is definitely rude. So perhaps this person isn't an old school butch, but I also think it is rude no matter how they i.d.

Edit: I also think there could be situations where a butch was very much old school but perhaps had a limited income or some other situation that made it difficult to always pay and there could still be a strong old school dynamic. It is more about how you treat someone and how you conduct yourself, but paying for a date is usually something an old school butch genuinely does take pleasure in when they can do it.

Very well put..