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Old 06-03-2010, 02:25 AM   #1
Gemme
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Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow View Post


I am curious about those who ID as *Stone* and what that specific WORD means to them on a personal and relationship level.

Is it sexual boundaries or gender ID or a combination of the two or something one cannot explain that makes one ID as *Stone*?

It may be too personal to explain--perfectly understandable (of course!). I am just wondering how all those who ID as Stone (femmes and butches) came to that ID and what that ID means to them...if they want to share of course!

If there is another thread on personal definitions of *Stone*, someone tell me quickly!

--No judgement--I am honestly curious as to what *STONE* means for people on this site.



For myself, it lets others know upfront not only how I have sex but with whom I have sex.

I've always been Stone. I just didn't always have the vocabulary and knowledge to understand it. I spent way too many years feeling inadequate or "lazy" as a lover. Once I realized that not only was my type of sex allowed but celebrated in parts of this community, I felt more secure within myself.
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Old 06-03-2010, 04:10 AM   #2
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I always knew I was different. I felt like something was wrong with me, because I didn't like feminizing (sexually and non sexually) my partners in any way. Now, I have found happiness knowing that there are others like me within the endless diversities of the GLTBQ community. Its a way of summing up who I am in my relationships and who I can date or who will fit with me in that regard. When I am with my partner(whom ever it may be) I see that person as a guy and I don't feminize them in any way.
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Old 06-03-2010, 04:33 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by diamondrose View Post
I always knew I was different. I felt like something was wrong with me, because I didn't like feminizing (sexually and non sexually) my partners in any way. Now, I have found happiness knowing that there are others like me within the endless diversities of the GLTBQ community. Its a way of summing up who I am in my relationships and who I can date or who will fit with me in that regard. When I am with my partner(whom ever it may be) I see that person as a guy and I don't feminize them in any way.
well said.
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Old 06-03-2010, 06:01 AM   #4
DapperButch
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MY stone relates to who I am sexually in terms of boundaries in bed, plus the type of energy that is exchanged in bed.

I tend to see MY stone as being more of an adjective (in some ways), as it describes behavior, but there is a gender ID to it as well...but yes, hard to explain.

I am looking forward to reading this thread, thanks for starting it. I hope it remains a positive, supportive thread, throughout.
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Old 06-15-2010, 11:41 PM   #5
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Default Stone Butch

Stone for me means I like to pleasure and I get pleasure from it. I only recently found a stone femme that I was compatible with. It made me realize that there was some hope and I didn't have to become a celibate priest after all.
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Old 01-15-2011, 08:11 AM   #6
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Sister, I couldn't have said it better. Except that I didn't think of it as being 'lazy', but 'abnormal', or selfish. I lived with those feelings most of my gay life, until I found the gay/lesbian (for lack of a better word) sites. I joyously discovered that I was not selfish. I just enjoyed sex in a different way from others, and there was nothing 'abnormal' about that. In these online communities I found acceptance and understanding, and as you said, celebration in being stone.

After many years of being single, I have found love at last. My guy is just as stone as I am, and we rejoice and celebrate that aspect of our relationship - being stone. Cinderella has finally found the right 'fit'.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemme View Post
For myself, it lets others know upfront not only how I have sex but with whom I have sex.

I've always been Stone. I just didn't always have the vocabulary and knowledge to understand it. I spent way too many years feeling inadequate or "lazy" as a lover. Once I realized that not only was my type of sex allowed but celebrated in parts of this community, I felt more secure within myself.
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Old 01-15-2011, 09:13 AM   #7
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shaped rock fragment: a piece of rock that has been shaped for a particular purpose
at first i thought stone was meant as hard core.. stone fox=very sexy, stone cold=little or no feelings,stone butch=very masculin,stone femme=very girly.
in time i realized i was stone not only verly masculine butch but had certian sexual needs that i was insistant about. the few times that i allowed myself to be "handled" "touched" on the female parts of my body i felt shame and embarassment, i just did not "id" with those parts of my body. those were parts that i had wished sence a very young age that i didnt have. it felt like she was focusing on an ugly birthmark picking on the very worst of me the part of me that i tried very hard to hide. a part i didnt want to bring into a relationship. but i was born this way so why do i not enjoy being touched?. thats not it at all i do enjoy being touched everywhere except "down there" and i do like my butch "strap" being touched as if i was born like this. not fantisy but real for me as should be for my partner also.
it comes down to for me: respect me for who i am even if it is only in our eyes. i will do the same for you. who are you and who am i?
do we have the mutual respect that will complement each others needs?
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Old 01-15-2011, 12:01 PM   #8
Gráinne
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Neither, nada, out of the box
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I don't profess to speak with any kind of authority on this topic, but what I have gleaned is that "stone" is a continuum, almost like gender or sexual preference itself. I see all the way from no reciprocal touch at all, to touch allowed in certain places, to being a top (or bottom), but not necessarily stone. I fall in the latter group-not opposed to being touched at all, believe me, but I get 90% of my pleasure from touching, not being touched.

Having said that, it seems to change with whomever I'm with, where my mind is going, and even the time of the month. Different energies, I guess. I might want activity A on Monday, and activity B (totally opposite mind place) on Saturday. Sexuality is a slippery beast.

Maybe, to me, the important thing isn't defining once and for all what "stone" is, since there are as many different definitions as women on this site. It's absolutely not about "well, I'm doing it "right", and you are all "wrong". It's about finding partners who are compatible with our wishes, and theirs, and then communicating and respecting the hell out of each other.
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Old 01-15-2011, 12:39 PM   #9
Nightshade
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For me, it's not even remotely about top or bottom, D/s, giving vs receiving... I am an active, passionate, giving sexual partner who could never in a million years be called submissive.

I'm not a lesbian. I'm not interested in interacting with female parts. Or being with a partner who wants or needs that. So... any motivation for giving in that way is non-existent for me. Does this make me a lazy lover or a pillow princess? If I'm in bed with a woman it would.

But give me a guy who truly owns his strap-on and knows how to use it and watch out!

Also, when and if I DO touch him there, I'm stroking cock, not clit. And there's no doubt in either of our minds.

Last edited by Nightshade; 01-15-2011 at 12:55 PM. Reason: Eta one more thought.
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Old 01-15-2011, 01:03 PM   #10
CherylNYC
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightshade View Post
For me, it's not even remotely about top or bottom, D/s, giving vs receiving... I am an active, passionate, giving sexual partner who could never in a million years be called submissive.

I'm not a lesbian. I'm not interested in interacting with female parts. Or being with a partner who wants or needs that. So... any motivation for giving in that way is non-existent for me. Does this make me a lazy lover or a pillow princess? If I'm in bed with a woman it would.

But give me a guy who truly owns his strap-on and knows how to use it and watch out!

Also, when and if I DO touch him there, I'm stroking cock, not clit. And there's no doubt in either of our minds.
Speaking for myself, and FOR ME only, I am a lesbian. I'm a stonefemme lesbian. Like Nightshade I can't/don't interact with female parts, but I interact enthusiastically with butch women when given half a chance.

I'm a woman who partners with and has erotic energy with females who are butch. That fits perfectly within my definition of lesbian.
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Old 08-10-2011, 06:28 PM   #11
DCStone
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Default Stone

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemme View Post
For myself, it lets others know upfront not only how I have sex but with whom I have sex.

I've always been Stone. I just didn't always have the vocabulary and knowledge to understand it.
I have to agree with Gemme. I think her definition is short and to the point. Although, I am coming from the Stone Butch perspective. I really appreciate so many people sharing their thoughts and stories.
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Old 04-14-2012, 04:45 PM   #12
Jess
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Default BUMP!

a more welcoming stone thread I had not read previously. Thanks Miss JoLynn for creating one with such grace.

now, I get to go back and read it all.. lol
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Old 04-14-2012, 06:18 PM   #13
BullDog
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Thank you for this wonderful, inclusive Stone thread. There are so many awesome posts here. I did post earlier in the thread, so not much to add at this time but thank you again to everyone.
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Old 04-14-2012, 06:29 PM   #14
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I haven't seen this thread in a awhile, but reading through some of the posts here, made me proud to be a member of this site. There really are some great folks here, who are genuinely interested in open discussion, and allowing others to freely be themselves without judgement or an attempt to cram others into a preformed ID box that is not of their own personal design. I am subscribing.
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Old 04-14-2012, 06:55 PM   #15
CherylNYC
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Count me in. Just another refugee from that crazy 'House'.
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Old 05-21-2012, 05:41 PM   #16
rustedrims
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Default just read through this thread

Ok i get the Stone thing for Butches and Femmes..I never thought of myself as Stone but after reading i can find a place there..I do like to be the agressor in the bedroom or Top..After doing what i do in the heat of passion i do need a little touch to take the edge off things..Give me 6 seconds then my attention goes back to my partner..I dont want to get to personal with my info..There are also places i prefer not to be touched,rubbed,grabbed or whatever..Guess that is the Stone part..

I do have a question..
I here Pillow Princess being mentioned a few times..My "X" was described as being that..When it was time for the bedroom activites she would lay naked on her back in bed with her arms over her head and legs wide open..{sorry to detailed?}..Wow!!..I loved that and killer body to go with it..She would keep her arms raised during sex and never heald on to me or any kind of interaction..She responded very well but no tender touches or nothing..
My question is :: Is that the definition of a "Pillow Princess"..???..
wondering..??..
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