Relationships - What things do you want & need?

RebelDyke · 07-20-2018, 06:25 PM

Respect, honesty, loyalty, and highly affectionate. Like almost giggling high school crush affectionate. Sneaking kisses by the sink or flirts from across the room. One who can appreciate a hot water bottle for their back, lol. Someone who is highly adaptable as well. But above all realistic expectations and admissions. I need someone who is not afraid to be vulnerable, and knows themselves well enough. (did i mention a talker on occasion as well?)

Am I asking too much?

Blade · 07-20-2018, 09:16 PM

Balance
Mentally, emotionally, financially, career, educationally, theologically, entertainment, sexually, maturity, culturally, goals, intent, yeah there is probably more but basically it's about balance

Sweet Bliss · 07-26-2018, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blade

Balance
Mentally, emotionally, financially, career, educationally, theologically, entertainment, sexually, maturity, culturally, goals, intent, yeah there is probably more but basically it's about balance

Yes, coming from those finely balanced digits, tanned to perfection, I would expect no less.

Mine are scarred, veined, mismatched, strong but soft, but balanced? I'm lucky to put one foot in front of the other most days.

JDeere · 07-26-2018, 03:21 PM

My list has changed. Im very picky now at what i want and need and who as well.

Bèsame* · 07-26-2018, 04:21 PM

I want romance, flirting, attention, wit to match mine, spontaneous activities, and be able to make me laugh.
Be open to agree to disagree

I need, above all, good communication and real honesty.

Lyte · 07-28-2018, 06:34 PM

I was about to add my short list of nonnegotiables and there they are! Thanks!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bèsame*

I need, above all, good communication and real honesty.

imperfect_cupcake · 07-29-2018, 09:55 PM

I've been thinking about this because I'm putting a big toe back in the dating pool after years away.

I've come to grips being a demiromantic and that it is not what other people really understand or share.

I don't get crushes on people I don't know well. So I'm not going to get butterflys and act goofy over someone I don't know.

I'm a sapiophile as well. I'm not going to go stupid over the way someone looks. Nor am I going to get vulgar over some butches muscles. I mean, I'll think they are *nice*. But I'm never going to throw my panties at them or dribble on them.

I grow in love with people, I don't fall in love with people. I still get there. But not the way most people want, and not in the time frame most people want. Roses and chocolates are lost on me. I don't really get traditional romance stuff.

I get the romance of true friendship. *Really* knowing someone and loving them for the way they climb a tree. Or pour a cup or tea for you. Or how they only eat slightly green bananas. I love the romance of real friendship and how organic that is, that you can't say "oh first you do this, and then you do that, and then, it goes this way."

The is no code, no formula, no ritual to it. It just happens because it does, because you enjoy each other and you allow each other to be who you are.

And because I'm a demiromantic, sex does not make me feel more attached to someone. Or less. Unless its continual sex added to the mix of continual friendship that just keeps organically making its way to a stronger bond.

However, I know that pretty much leaves me out of the 45+ crowd in the USA of butch-femme. Its a good thing I'm in Canada. It mostly leaves me out of the loop here though, as well in my age group.

People 35 and under get this. But they are too young for me.

people put romance before friendship and I can't do that. I can put sex before friendship or romance. But romance does not go before friendship in my universe. I will have a fun shag with someone who's company I enjoy as a human being, but I will not hold their hand having ice cream until I know them as a proper friend first. and I don't mean "oh I met you 4 times" kind of friend. A *proper* friend.

07-20-2018, 06:25 PM	#1
RebelDyke Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: She/Her/Hers...please no male ID..it's insulting Relationship Status: settled and content Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: oz Posts: 2,569 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,574 Thanked 3,223 Times in 1,574 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Respect, honesty, loyalty, and highly affectionate. Like almost giggling high school crush affectionate. Sneaking kisses by the sink or flirts from across the room. One who can appreciate a hot water bottle for their back, lol. Someone who is highly adaptable as well. But above all realistic expectations and admissions. I need someone who is not afraid to be vulnerable, and knows themselves well enough. (did i mention a talker on occasion as well?) Am I asking too much? __________________ *"Do it trembling if you must, but DO IT!" ~Emmet Fox* "The cave that you fear holds the treasure you seek" Please, cancel my subscription to your issues.

07-20-2018, 09:16 PM	#2
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,412 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Balance Mentally, emotionally, financially, career, educationally, theologically, entertainment, sexually, maturity, culturally, goals, intent, yeah there is probably more but basically it's about balance __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

07-26-2018, 03:21 PM	#4
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,833 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	My list has changed. Im very picky now at what i want and need and who as well. __________________ Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein

07-26-2018, 04:21 PM	#5
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: loved by many Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 15,420 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,168 Thanked 41,015 Times in 10,768 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	I want romance, flirting, attention, wit to match mine, spontaneous activities, and be able to make me laugh. Be open to agree to disagree I need, above all, good communication and real honesty. __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

07-29-2018, 09:55 PM	#7
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I've been thinking about this because I'm putting a big toe back in the dating pool after years away. I've come to grips being a demiromantic and that it is not what other people really understand or share. I don't get crushes on people I don't know well. So I'm not going to get butterflys and act goofy over someone I don't know. I'm a sapiophile as well. I'm not going to go stupid over the way someone looks. Nor am I going to get vulgar over some butches muscles. I mean, I'll think they are nice. But I'm never going to throw my panties at them or dribble on them. I grow in love with people, I don't fall in love with people. I still get there. But not the way most people want, and not in the time frame most people want. Roses and chocolates are lost on me. I don't really get traditional romance stuff. I get the romance of true friendship. Really knowing someone and loving them for the way they climb a tree. Or pour a cup or tea for you. Or how they only eat slightly green bananas. I love the romance of real friendship and how organic that is, that you can't say "oh first you do this, and then you do that, and then, it goes this way." The is no code, no formula, no ritual to it. It just happens because it does, because you enjoy each other and you allow each other to be who you are. And because I'm a demiromantic, sex does not make me feel more attached to someone. Or less. Unless its continual sex added to the mix of continual friendship that just keeps organically making its way to a stronger bond. However, I know that pretty much leaves me out of the 45+ crowd in the USA of butch-femme. Its a good thing I'm in Canada. It mostly leaves me out of the loop here though, as well in my age group. People 35 and under get this. But they are too young for me. people put romance before friendship and I can't do that. I can put sex before friendship or romance. But romance does not go before friendship in my universe. I will have a fun shag with someone who's company I enjoy as a human being, but I will not hold their hand having ice cream until I know them as a proper friend first. and I don't mean "oh I met you 4 times" kind of friend. A proper friend.