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#1 |
Practically Lives Here
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I want romance, flirting, attention, wit to match mine, spontaneous activities, and be able to make me laugh.
Be open to agree to disagree ![]() I need, above all, good communication and real honesty.
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#2 |
Senior Member
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Meh... I'm not very particular about this. Relationship Status:
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#3 |
Senior Member
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I've been thinking about this because I'm putting a big toe back in the dating pool after years away.
I've come to grips being a demiromantic and that it is not what other people really understand or share. I don't get crushes on people I don't know well. So I'm not going to get butterflys and act goofy over someone I don't know. I'm a sapiophile as well. I'm not going to go stupid over the way someone looks. Nor am I going to get vulgar over some butches muscles. I mean, I'll think they are *nice*. But I'm never going to throw my panties at them or dribble on them. I grow in love with people, I don't fall in love with people. I still get there. But not the way most people want, and not in the time frame most people want. Roses and chocolates are lost on me. I don't really get traditional romance stuff. I get the romance of true friendship. *Really* knowing someone and loving them for the way they climb a tree. Or pour a cup or tea for you. Or how they only eat slightly green bananas. I love the romance of real friendship and how organic that is, that you can't say "oh first you do this, and then you do that, and then, it goes this way." The is no code, no formula, no ritual to it. It just happens because it does, because you enjoy each other and you allow each other to be who you are. And because I'm a demiromantic, sex does not make me feel more attached to someone. Or less. Unless its continual sex added to the mix of continual friendship that just keeps organically making its way to a stronger bond. However, I know that pretty much leaves me out of the 45+ crowd in the USA of butch-femme. Its a good thing I'm in Canada. It mostly leaves me out of the loop here though, as well in my age group. People 35 and under get this. But they are too young for me. people put romance before friendship and I can't do that. I can put sex before friendship or romance. But romance does not go before friendship in my universe. I will have a fun shag with someone who's company I enjoy as a human being, but I will not hold their hand having ice cream until I know them as a proper friend first. and I don't mean "oh I met you 4 times" kind of friend. A *proper* friend. |
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#4 |
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Femme Join Date: Apr 2014
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I've met so many new people in the last six months and reconnected with so many others that with all these getting-to-know-you conversations going on simultaneously, its given me occasion to reflect on what it is I need and desire to have in any relationship, whether friendly, familial, or otherwise.
Beyond the obvious things that I think everyone wants (and in no particular order), at this point in my life I'm finding these things to be important to me:
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#5 | |
Senior Member
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feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?:
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I hate dating. I like hanging out. I'm not a formal person. I loved going on dates with someone I was *seeing* and already knew and trusted. I loved going on dates with my ex-wife. But I hate dating strangers. It feels like a fucking job interview with forced romance. Anyway, traits?
That last one is a big one. If someone is dogpiling all these romantic daydream end points into the friendship, from the very beginning, that's not really how it works. ![]() But the genuine understanding that its ok if this is just friendship or hey, if it turns out it grows into something else, that would be good. And then mentally *leaving it there.* It's *totally* ok to notice it now and again, the other person's attractive qualities and have a wandering thought. ![]() But I really do notice when people's trajectories are "I wonder when this will be long enough to date." :s and I hate it. Its not sincere friendship. thanks for the thought provoking post about traits. |
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#6 |
Practically Lives Here
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Not many in this big city have what I am looking for so, when I do start really dating, I do not see an easy road ahead of me.
Friends first is what I am going by this time around!
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Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein |
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#7 |
Member
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She, please. Join Date: May 2010
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow ツ
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Bumping this thread to the front page, in case others would enjoy reading this forum thread for useful perspective.
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“If you get close to what you love,
who you are is revealed to you,” — Ethan Hawke. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Tags |
couples, love, relationship, relationships, single |
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