Breeder and other words we use to hurt our own.

[JustJo]

Well I'm gonna have to change colors here so I can go point to point...because I think you raise some interesting questions...
Let me start first by saying that, as much as I love the warm sentiments of motherhood...I was NOT raised to be a mother. I was raised by a narcissist who made it very clear to me from a very young age that motherhood ruined her life, her future and her happiness. I was raised to believe that motherhood was one step above slavery, and the last thing in the world I should ever desire.

Originally Posted by Dylan

Do you think women are groomed to be mothers for their own selves or do you think women are groomed to be mothers for the benefit of men?

20 years ago I would have agreed with you that women were groomed to be mothers primarily to support the status quo. Anymore? No. The largest growing (I believe) stratum of new mothers are older, first time, single mothers - many of whom have decided to stop waiting for Mr. Right and just start their own family on their own terms. I personally know many of women in this cohort - and they are mothering purely for their own reasons and because it's what their own heart desires.

Do you think motherhood is so regaled when a man is NOT involved?

Because when there's NOT a man around, those women (single women) are seen (STILL...in 2010) as whores and or 'untouchable' by men, because they have another man's child.

Not in my experience.l I am a single mother. I did, eventually and big mistake, marry my son's father for a few years thinking it would be best for my son. No one ever called or treated me like a whore, and I was far from untouchable by men. In fact, I had several volunteers to step into my ready made family. Yes, there are some men who avoid single moms...but honestly, not many.

So, do you think girls are taught to be mothers (and that's not the word I want, because 'mothers' are usually regaled [unless they're single mothers]...mother does not have the same connotation as what I was trying to convey in how the patriarchy treats/grooms girls)

I'm not talking about how I (me,me,me) or you or women see parenting/motherhood/etc...I'm talking about patriarchy and how little girls are taught from a young age that their worth is tied to their sexuality and ability to create children. And because I likened that whole post to FLDS and the grooming that takes place in that arena...breed is exactly the right word.

Acutally, I think women today are measured more by their ability to be a trophy wife than a mother. You don't need breast implants, botox injections and a lifestyle lift to be a mother. But that's what's getting hammered into us now. Again, 20 years ago I would have agreed that a woman's ability to have children was key. Anymore, I think her ability to fit into a size 3 is more important to much of mainstream society.

I think we've gone past the "woman as mother" stage in our culture and moved into "woman as perpetually youthful hottie" instead. I don't see it as an improvement, but no one consulted me.

Because I don't see the patriarchal grooming of (girl) children in this society as ANY different than FLDS society, and that's EXACTLY how women are treated in that patriarchal society.


Dylan

I do hear what you're saying Dylan...I just feel like you're talking about a 20 year old dynamic.