Cancer Support and Caregivers Who Are Trail Blazers!

[clay]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaMa'am

As I recently posted in another thread, the boi has lung cancer. We went to the first appointment with his pulmonologist today. The doctor showed us the x-ray; the mass is 10-15 cm in diameter, in hys right lung.



This is all so familiar, and not in a good way. I want to be there to support hym, but it sure is bringing back some bad memories.

((((((((((((((((((((((((Georgia))))))))))))))))))

This IS a hard thing to see happening to a loved one, and yes, it DOES evoke one's own memories/experiences/diagnosis.

Just try to take it one step/day at a time. The visits initially are fast & furious, as it tantamount they get the stage then put a plan together. While we want them to "hurry up"...there are so many variables to consider for each person, as their "cancer" is unique to them. So, "specifics" are very important to create that plan. Patience is key, as you & I know. BUT I also know how scared one can be, with a whole spectrum of other emotions, going on. Hearing the C word scares the crap out of folks. I withdrew to myself for a week when I was diagnosed 12/2009 and told NO ONE.I had to ride that rollercoaster of emotions, thoughts, feelings....acceptance/denial/projection/etc etc and over again. IN NO ORDER!

I will stand with you from afar & offer gentle hugs, encouragement, support, a shoulder/ear.....just know you are NOT technically alone in this. We here will be with you. I know I will.

Allow yourself the time to absorb, digest, and come to terms with this as well. IT won't be easy, but you are NOT alone. Gentle hugs for you & the boi!!

[clay]

UPDATE:

Saw my oncologist today...my labs are screwed up. SO, I am getting a battery of imaging/scope tests just to make sure the elevated CEA (tumor marker levels) aren't "high" for any reason.

I have faith all will come back clean.

I am a survivor & I GOT THIS!

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Originally Posted by clay

I withdrew to myself for a week when I was diagnosed 12/2009 and told NO ONE.I had to ride that rollercoaster of emotions, thoughts, feelings....acceptance/denial/projection/etc etc and over again.

Now that you mention it, I did the same thing. I didn't tell anyone for awhile; I couldn't decide at first if I was even going to do anything about it. Then I couldn't decide who needed to know and who didn't. And I couldn't decide what order to tell them in. I had all kinds of thoughts at first, some crazy and some not so crazy.

Thanks so much for your support and sharing your introspection.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

The boi is starting to realize hy is going to need some help to get through this. Hy's on oxygen, and can barely make it to the bathroom or the kitchen without passing out from not being on the oxygen. The oxygen people are supposed to come tomorrow, and I told hym to ask for a longer line so hy can at least get to those two places in the house.

When I called the boi today, I asked hym how hy felt today. Hy said, "Unwanted." It made me so sad.

Hys son, who lives with hym, is not stepping up to the plate to help out. The son has health problems of his own, but he can't even be bothered to make an extra sandwich for his mom when he goes to the kitchen to make himself one. He can't get himself out of the bed at 6 a.m. to let the boi's dog out - he will just lie in bed for hours and listen to the dog bark and bark. (The last time the boi tried to do it, hy got dizzy and hit hys head on the door jamb.)

The boi's son is a known bum, but the boi won't kick him out. This is just how it is, and how it has been since the kid was born. (He's in his 40s now.) He plays video games all day. I would love to kick his a**, but it wouldn't do any good. But it would make me feel better.

Anyway, we're going to have to line up some help for the boi. I can't do everything - I can't even do all this stuff for myself. I might be able to take the dog. Or we might be able to get a dog walker. I told the boi hy's just getting started on this stuff, and it's going to get harder from here on for a while. Hy said we'll just have to take care of stuff as it comes to us, and hy's right.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words and for keeping us in your thoughts. It helps me so much and means a lot.

* * *

The boi is back in the hospital. Hys lung function is at 50%; hys right lung is completely blocked now by the tumor and hys left lung is doing all the work of keeping hym oxygenated. We finally got a hospital patient advocate to run interference; the billing people keep wanting to put off procedures until the boi has Medicare, and the doctors are saying they can't wait any longer. They are conducting the second biopsy today, and they are starting radiation. Apparently, the type of cancer that will be determined by the biopsy has no effect on the radiation treatment; it's the same for all types. We will have to wait for the biopsy results to start chemo, though.

All I can do to help hym at this time is to tell hym what radiation is like in detail. The son is taking care of the dog for now (probably). I'm going to file an extension on hys taxes; they are done, except hy needs to get some information that I can't get from the IRS. Hy doesn't owe anything, so there won't be any penalty. I feel pretty useless though. Thank the Goddess hy has the patient advocate on hys side now; she seems like a real tough lady.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

The boi has been through two rounds of radiation now, and they're doing a third biopsy tomorrow.

Most distressing to hym and me, right now, is that they're calling in the palliative care doctor tomorrow. He wants to meet with the whole family so that everybody is on the same page about what the boi's "options" are, and what the boi wants to do.

The boi doesn't see it as a conversation about "options", hy believes that they're going to tell hym hy has no options and hy is going to die. We have no way of finding out until the appointment tomorrow.

Hy still hasn't eaten in over a week. I made hym a squash casserole and I'm taking it tomorrow. I won't get my feelings hurt if hy can't eat it, but it's hys favorite thing that I cook. I figured it was worth a try. And besides, I needed something to take my mind off this palliative care conversation.

[rustedrims]

Been a while since I have posted and been in here. Reading and getting caught up with everyone brings back the memories of my beginnings of my journey.

The pressure in my head came and went and didn't pay much attention to it until it didn't go away. Older sister took me to the hospital had all the tests done. They said we will call you and sent me home. Of course it took forever for them to call. The call came and got my appointment to see the doctor. Not thinking it was anything more than a doctor visit. Time came for the appointment so got in the car and went to it like every appointment I ever had not thinking of the reason I was going. I went alone. Sitting in that room waiting for the Doctor. The silence was the loudest thing I ever heard. She came in and sat down beside me. We exchanged hello's and how are you feeling? Then she leaned slightly to me and opened the folder pointed at something and said you have cancer. I then asked now what do I do?

She explained the process. We talked a few more minutes then I left. I went out to my car and sat there a little bit then I called my friend 'T' and I told her and she cried with me sitting in the car on the phone still in the parking lot. Everyone knows the rest of the story.

Doing what I had to do everything going well. Months later CT scan shows a spot on my kidney. Got it back and treatments started. I had 3 treatments then few months later started treatments to keep that stuff away. Had to get a treatment every 8 weeks for 2 years. Been doing that and have 3 more left. I told the nurse that was hooking me up that the treatment doesn't hurt. It's the reason I am there. It hurts getting poked. I always ask them to tell me before they poke me. To me it's like I am at the top of the hill on a roller coaster ready to drop.

In the beginning family would go with me to my appointments see how things are going. I go to treatments myself come home. Make sure kitties have something to eat. I make a little snack for myself then take a nap to sleep the sleepy stuff off. A little girl sums it up real well. She said the worst thing about having cancer is knowing you have it.

Thank you all for reading my ramblings.

s

[rustedrims]

Been a while.
Well done with my 2 years of treatments every 8 weeks. I had to do that cause I got that stuff in my kidney. That was the second time for me. Kidney good and so am I. M.R.I. on my head next few days. Tuesday's at 10:00. I was gone from home bout 4 half hours from hook up to unhook. Just drove myself. I would sit out in the parking lot bout 20 minutes and listen to music
before I go in and leave. Couldn't get nicer nurses. My Dr. was from Japan. She was very nice and explained everything so I could understand.
I know things are different for me now. I am slippin a little and I catch myself then try to think it through what I missed. The past 3 days had a misunderstanding with my new vanity in my bathroom. I say the box was marked wrong so that's why I got the wrong one. After the third day today it was explained to me about the box. The lady was nice about it but we had to do a little bit of loud talking first. After she explained it to me then I get it. Long story short she personally took me around all the vanities and I ended up with better quality and nicer looking. Talked it all out and ended it with a friendly hug. Gotta go back in for a sink and she told me to get her when I am ready and I will.
Ya know after I got done at the store and drivin home I think I figured it out how I think now after that stuff got ahold of me. If this makes any sense to anyone. I am trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. By the time things are explained to me that I understand I can get the round peg to start to fit in the round hole but I can't get it in all the way. That's what I came up with.
I don't like that part of it. I try to compensate for what I am missing.
Have a project in the garage been wanting to get that finished. Worked on it the other day and struggled with it but I kept at it and did as much as myself would let me do. Doesn't look pretty but it is better than it was. Few more hours on it and it will be buttoned up. Gotta wait till my thoughts get there to finish it. Don't like that part either.
Ok that's all I got,

Thank You for reading my ramblings.
We are all fighting the fight together.

s...