Butch & Transmen Friendship: Mutual Support

[weatherboi]

no doubt about that Linus but we are discussing the butch side of it...not the ex side of it. as far as your opinion about that i am implying that women are owned that is not where i am coming from and i am sorry you choose to view it that way. sooo thanks for the patience and understanding that i asked for.

Originally Posted by Linus

Personally, I think that there are two people in this scenario: both the butch and your first g/f did the cheating. Neither is to be excluded and both parties were willing participants.

To me, the idea that one shouldn't "steal" a lover, partner, etc. suggests -- TO ME -- the idea that a woman is chattel (sp?) and owned. If she chooses to find someone else (and it's not a poly relationship), then there is more going on there.

[Linus]

Originally Posted by weatherboi

no doubt about that Linus but we are discussing the butch side of it...not the ex side of it. as far as your opinion about that i am implying that women are owned that is not where i am coming from and i am sorry you choose to view it that way. sooo thanks for the patience and understanding that i asked for.

But that is your personal view and there is nothing wrong with that. I simply stated my view in relation to what you posted and how it felt personally (this is why I stated it from my point of view and indicated the "personally" parts). I apologize for not being clearer on what I was trying to express.

Part of the support for each other is to recognize the differences as well as the similarities. Our world (and I'm referring to this in a wider general sense) is all about extremes of support or contrary. Society seems more intent on accepting extremes rather than recognizing the middle ground or middle way. Just because I do not agree with your point of view doesn't mean I do not respect you or your understanding.

I went through the "my g/f was stolen by.." point not too long ago (about 4 years now). I look back on it as a learning experience. It was not the butch's fault nor the g/f fault. It was reflective of the time and what was going on. It cost me a potential friendship with both because of my internal view of "ownership" and "how dare he!" thoughts.

To me -- and I'll emphasize that these are MY thoughts, MY views and are only to be view as that of the Linus -- the ethic of "no butch/transman/whatever should steal another's femme/girl/whatever" creates boundary lines and animosity in itself. Rather I would prefer to create deep friendships with those transmen/butches/whatever that would negate their desire to cause distrust.

Will it never happen again? Eh. Who knows? Anything is certainly possible. But for me personally, I find it creates lines where there shouldn't be any.