Cause & Affect: A Femme's Influence On The Friendships Between Butches and Transmen

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Sam

Topic by the balls, squeeze the topic. nothing personal. scooting out of here.

I am gonna clean my answer up because I don't like giving June a headache..

So lemme make it clear ok?

You and I, ain't homies, we ain't tight...

So, those kinda of comments, keep em to yourself a'ight?

Thank you for listening.

[SuperFemme]

oy vey.

where were we?

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

oy vey.

where were we?

I hope there are more participants then just us two...

[amiyesiam]

Hi, interesting topic.
Before finding the on line sites
I had no clue
sometimes ignorance is bliss
I have seen what you are talking about some
but then I don't know a lot of people in real time
nor do I talk to most on the phone.

But I have seen it.


when I first started hearing about this I was shocked
so my take on it
1. female/male ided butches and transmen are adults
as such they can take care of themselves
2. the idea of trashing someone based on their Id sickens me
it says more about the person doing the talking than the person being
trashed.
3. when I see it happen. I stay out of it. I do not feel it is my job to stand up for another adult. They can do that for themselves.
4. and as I will always say: humans are humans first, everything else comes after.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by amiyesiam

Hi, interesting topic.
Before finding the on line sites
I had no clue
sometimes ignorance is bliss
I have seen what you are talking about some
but then I don't know a lot of people in real time
nor do I talk to most on the phone.

But I have seen it.


when I first started hearing about this I was shocked
so my take on it
1. female/male ided butches and transmen are adults
as such they can take care of themselves
2. the idea of trashing someone based on their Id sickens me
it says more about the person doing the talking than the person being
trashed.
3. when I see it happen. I stay out of it. I do not feel it is my job to stand up for another adult. They can do that for themselves.
4. and as I will always say: humans are humans first, everything else comes after.

I stay out of it too, but then again I am sexually fluid, my attraction to people is not based just solely on gender or gender presentation. So for me and this is just Snow speaking for Snow.

I like em all to be frank.

So to put someone down cause you are now with the other becomes divisive.

I am certainly not speakin for anyone, and know that people can handle their own stuff.

Hence the conception of this thread.

[Sam]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I am gonna clean my answer up because I don't like giving June a headache..

So lemme make it clear ok?

You and I, ain't homies, we ain't tight...

So, those kinda of comments, keep em to yourself a'ight?

Thank you for listening.

No need to make anything clear with me.

No actually we never have/had been friends.

Its a public thread and i will make comments.

I dont like stereotyping, so i commented. I did not target you, just the words you used.

and im not listening, im reading!

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Sam

No need to make anything clear with me.

No actually we never have/had been friends.

Its a public thread and i will make comments.

I dont like stereotyping, so i commented. I did not target you, just the words you used.

and im not listening, im reading!

Thank you for the correction.

You done petting me in the head?

Cause this is what this feels like, you exerting your privi on me

I am not liking it

So please

Back to topic?

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by waxnrope

oh! sorry, I misinterpreted your intent. this, then, is a thread for femmes, right. I'll just read respectfully and keep to the other thread then.
Thanks for clarifying ...

Originally Posted by Sam

No need to make anything clear with me.

No actually we never have/had been friends.

Its a public thread and i will make comments.

I dont like stereotyping, so i commented. I did not target you, just the words you used.

and im not listening, im reading!

I think we should leave the femmes to their thread.

I personally appreciated it when Snow suggested that we just keep our thread butch/trans as she saw that this made the most sense, due to the originally stated goal of the thread.

If this is what you want, Snow, maybe it would be more clear cut if you moved it to the Femme Zone?

I guess I kind of assumed that AtLast put her thread in the Relationships, Communities, and Groups forum so that she did not have to choose between the butch or trans zone, since it is for both groups of people.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

I think we should leave the femmes to their thread.

I personally appreciated it when Snow suggested that we just keep our thread butch/trans as she saw that this made the most sense.

If this is what you want, Snow, maybe it would be more clear cut if you moved it to the Femme Zone?

I guess I kind of assumed that AtLast put her thread in the Relationships, Communities, and Groups forum so that she did not have to choose between the butch or trans zone.

Well no, my intent was for it to be here.... I think it sucks that I have to go into Femme Zone.

I don't want to go tag base just to feel safe

Make sense?

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Well no, my intent was for it to be here.... I think it sucks that I have to go into Femme Zone.

I don't want to go tag base just to feel safe

Make sense?

Absolutely. And now I will take my leave. :-)

ETA: And you also did say that it was for anyone other than those that identify as Butches or Transmen (so maybe that is another reason why you wouldn't want it in the femme zone).

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

I guess I kind of assumed that AtLast put her thread in the Relationships, Communities, and Groups forum so that she did not have to choose between the butch or trans zone, since it is for both groups of people.

You assumed correctly. I just didn't want the thread to appear one, or any-sided. Plus, I was trying to get away from gender as the issue because I was trying to get to communication, friendship interaction and the differences between what we might experience online and off. Which, sure appears to be different and both the butches and transguys are doing a great job of showing this.

Whatever gender identification one has is a given in that thread, and not up for translation or discussion. It is who and what the person is, period. Talking about some of the issues as friends or perhaps political commrades is what that thread is really about.

LOL... I honestly wasn't going after much about the influence of femmes on us all, but, in reading this thread, I think it is a good idea. I have had some personal interactions dating in which a couple (meaning just 2) femmes were hell-bent on making the butch they really wanted (to which I said, you really are looking for someone else, and that is OK). But, there is no way I am going to put that in the context of all, or even most femmes. After all, I don't know all femmes. And others that I have dated did not do this at all.

Thanks for the thread, Snow and all. This is important for me as a butch to read.

[Jet]

well, considering i really don;t have anything in common with anybody, i don't think about building friendships. just speaking for myself.

[Words]

Originally Posted by Jet

well, considering i really don;t have anything in common with anybody, i don't think about building friendships. just speaking for myself.

Just a thought, but perhaps, if you were to build friendships, you'd come to discover that you have a lot more in common with others than you think you do?