A friend of Dorothys- how important is community?

[Gayla]

Originally Posted by Converse

You say that you're socializing, by choice, is now predominantly with straight people. Do you find an occasional hankering to spend time with people/persons who can see the world through similar eyes, can relate to your experiences, history? And if so, do you think that you have satisfied that need through sites like this, and hence haven’t felt the need to find it in R/T?

I guess I really don't see it as not relating to my experiences. Most of the people that I spend time with, whether queer or straight, have enough similar experiences and shared history on some level that I don't feel like an outsider. My life has changed a great deal and along with that how, and with whom, I spend my free time has changed. I enjoy spending time with people who understand my sense of humor, get the inside jokes and that I have a shared history with. They don't have to be queer to have all of those things.

The truth is, they do see the world through similar eyes and they can relate to my history and experiences because my history and experiences are much, much more then just being queer. Probably the most important thing I've learned over the years is that all these people that I used to see as being so different from me, really aren't.

I don't know if I'm really explaining this as well as I want. I don't feel a lot of separation in my life anymore. When I spend time with people in real life, I don't pretend to be anything other than what I am.

I'm fortunate to be in a position now where I don't have to get up every day and go to a "job" where I'm forced to interact with people that I may not like or get along with or that may not like me for no other reason than because I'm queer. I work with some really amazing people. I have really amazing clients. I have really amazing friends. Most are in more then one of those groups.

So it's not like I spend all day having to pretend to be someone else to the point that I want to go hang out with the queers at night just to relax and be myself.