![]() |
|
The Butch Zone For all things "Butch" |
![]() |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
![]() |
#1 | |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer, trans guy, butch Preferred Pronoun?:
Male pronouns Relationship Status:
Relationship Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,329
Thanks: 4,090
Thanked 3,878 Times in 1,022 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
I've read quite a few times now, on this site as well as the dash site, people stating that the new generation as a whole is moving away from the butch/femme dynamic, that it is breaking down the binary, that it is breaking away from stereotypes, and that young people are no longer caught up in gender, as though feeling a resonance in traditional gender dynamics is somehow negative. That is all well and good for those who are truly androgynous and doing so, however, I think such posts give off the impression that the entire younger generation (not sure how exactly you're defining it here, or if at 25 I fall into that younger generation) is moving further into the realm androgyny and leaving gender behind. This hasn't been my experience, and there are still quite a few young butches and femmes who feel the dynamic fits them perfectly. Over time I've also read a few statements that either directly state or imply that moving toward androgyny is moving toward openmindedness, and that falling into the binary somehow denotes closedmindedness, or the inability to remove one's self from a box society has placed us in (as though one could only ever be placed within that binary by society). There are still many people under 30 who find that the butch/femme binary resonates with them, and there seems to be a tendency now to denounce such individuals as "slaves" to so-called "patriarchy," just as has been done in the past. I also think that we should recognise that androgyny is a part of the current trend right now. It's what's being pushed by the media and by popular culture as a whole. I do not deny that there are many out there who truly feel themselves to be androgynous, but if we're going to delve into the fact that that some, in the past, have felt forced into the dynamic in order to follow a trend within a given sub-culture, then we should also recognise the state of current trends and youth sub-cultures. I agree that everyone should have their own space (and if this post invades that space, then I'll be glad to start another thread on it, instead), but I get the impression that asking for that space often comes hand in hand with the implication that the binary itself is something inherently closedminded and oppressive, which is not the case unless one is forced into it, or feels the need to follow a trend. As if one has to be superior to the other. We can make a lot of progressive headway while either staying within the binary or moving away from it, whichever more accurately reflects each of us. But I see a lot of people today both irl and online who seem to think that associating with androgyny, ecclecticism, underground sub-cultures or anything that appears to outwardly defy tradition automatically makes them openminded and intelligent, when in reality they have little clue as to why they've decided to jump on the bandwagon. To me there is nothing openminded about mindlessly following a trend, which many young people continue to do. Again, I'm not implying that everyone who identifies in such a way is following a trend, or that anyone in this thread or forum is doing so, but there are certainly those who are, and so I think we should be looking at both sides of the coin if there's going to be discussion on the negatives of one side. I don't bring this up to point fingers or start an argument, but I do feel that this is often a barrier and the source of some hostility in gender-related discussions. |
|
![]() |
![]() |
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to EnderD_503 For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#2 | |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Woman Preferred Pronoun?:
HER - SHE Relationship Status:
Relating Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird
Posts: 5,408
Thanks: 11,826
Thanked 10,827 Times in 3,199 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
I do not view either staying within or going outside of the binary as better or less than. Neither is positive or negative. I am pointing out another way that I have indeed been experiencing younger people as part of our community That's all. I do agree it is not a good idea to generalize, however, I didn't. We most likely do have a difference of opinion if what you are speaking in terms of traditional gender dynamics being based upon the age old patriarchal misogynist paradigms. Different generation, same old sexism and male privilege. If you are speaking from some other context in this regard, then that would be different. I don’t have enough information from your post to ascertain this, however. There are many positive attributes of female or male within the traditional binary. I am not saying that there isn’t. Actually, I would like to hear more from you about this because I don’t want to assume anything negative with what you are talking about. You could be speaking to a whole new paradigm that I am unfamiliar with and I am always ready to hear something new. |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#3 | |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Hardcore bullheaded grown-ass Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
she loves my shaggy hair Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The backroom of a night cafe plotting world domination
Posts: 1,028
Thanks: 2,054
Thanked 3,299 Times in 568 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
In the same sense that trans people always existed, but are now more in the media seemingly making them more in number... they are I believe just more visible and able to put a name to themselves and be out in who they are more easily and somewhat more safely. I'll even put forth that many masculine females and women before this "trend" (which I call a movement even though yes these things get trend jumpers by default) ID'd as butch because there wasn't a choice, wasn't the visibility and thus information out their for them to put the correct "name" to the internal feeling. I know quite a few who ID'd as butch previously are finally finding a place, they grew up taking the closest thing that fit even if itchy and not quite right. Personally I really struggled with butch ID for years, and avoided acknowledging what I'd felt for a long time... and to be upfront I haven't ID'd as "a" butch for a while, hence my lesser participation over time and finally change of my ID section. I didn't talk about it publicly here because of e-x-a-c-t-l-y what you conveyed here, I'm painfully aware that this feeling is not all that uncommon in bf circles and I've been part of this community for a long time and I guess didn't want to lose it. But now I feel similar to chefhottie in finding a place in it and for me, and my own concerns about being accepted and so I've avoided like the plague expressing I'm not butch a noun. I would hope it wouldn't make a difference, but I also live in the real world. Unfortunately my hand is forced here... as whether intended or not posts such as yours can create mis-information and judgments toward non-butch GQ, boi's, tomboys etc. etc. etc. and make it seem unwelcoming here. But ironically I'm glad you said it, because come what may it's something that's been weighing on me for a long time. It's not a threat to butch femme culture, it's simply a different "culture", other queer masculine female bodied cousins just being out and proud too. I don't know why we all can't just support each other without it always being seen as some kind of affront. Metropolis
__________________
.......... In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus
|
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#4 | |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Woman Preferred Pronoun?:
HER - SHE Relationship Status:
Relating Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird
Posts: 5,408
Thanks: 11,826
Thanked 10,827 Times in 3,199 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
Thanks, Met. You have always been someone that has given me comfort in realizing that this can be a painful experience- trying to navigate through what is or is not butch, female or masculine and personally reconcile a place of harmony. Like you, I am just not going to post much anymore about this even though it very much touches my soul. For me, even as one who identifies and FIB, there is still an area somewhere in-between that has yet to be defined that I can embrace fully that is consistent with my female masculinity (speaking only for myself with the last statement). I find that I can get support and understanding much more readily outside of B-F sites for this. But, so glad this site exists and is growing. Have hope that the obvious care of the admin in creating a much more open space will prevail concerning gender issues. Open in the sense that there is much to uncover as yet and each person needs to find a comfort zone that is respected and honored. |
|
![]() |
![]() |
The Following User Says Thank You to AtLast For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#5 | |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Hardcore bullheaded grown-ass Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
she loves my shaggy hair Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The backroom of a night cafe plotting world domination
Posts: 1,028
Thanks: 2,054
Thanked 3,299 Times in 568 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
I may not identify as a butch, but I have and do identify with butch on many fronts, like I said cousins. I'm still a "masculine" female gender bender (no that's not my "ID") and femmes are still the yin to my yang. I think the personal connections that brought us all here, no matter the personal feeling of identity, is where the "community" of it all comes from, and not in that we all ID the same. And just because finding that "place of harmony" doesn't always land us in the same place, doesn't mean we don't travel a lot of the roads together. I'm not going to derail any further except to say I have no doubt about the inclusiveness the Jack and Medusa intend for this space, I know their good intentions personally and have faith in that. Ok, I have a date with mo' coffee... ![]() Metropolis
__________________
.......... In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus
|
|
![]() |
![]() |
The Following User Says Thank You to Jett For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#6 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
transman Preferred Pronoun?:
male Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,868
Thanks: 710
Thanked 4,133 Times in 1,079 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
Amen to that, Met. This is a huge statement and, in my opinion, is all that really needs to be said when people ask *those* questions....... Why would a man come to this site? If you don't get the "butch" thing then why not go to a lesbian site? Etc...
__________________
Practice humility and kindness. |
![]() |
![]() |
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Thinker For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#7 | ||
Roadster Guy
How Do You Identify?:
FTM, Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?:
He Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Northeast
Posts: 7,745
Thanks: 26,545
Thanked 26,814 Times in 5,772 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
Quote:
Or is your point that you don't ID in any way at this point? Please hear this question as coming from a place of desiring to learn the different ways that masculine folks identify and not an attempt to pigeonhole you (and also know that it comes from a place of support for however you do see yourself!).
__________________
-Dapper ![]() ![]() ![]() Are you educated or indoctrinated? |
||
![]() |
![]() |
The Following User Says Thank You to DapperButch For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#8 | |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Hardcore bullheaded grown-ass Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
she loves my shaggy hair Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The backroom of a night cafe plotting world domination
Posts: 1,028
Thanks: 2,054
Thanked 3,299 Times in 568 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
I'm not trying to be dramatic or complicated... quite the opposite, it's that simple.
__________________
.......... In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus
|
|
![]() |
![]() |
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Jett For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#9 | |
Roadster Guy
How Do You Identify?:
FTM, Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?:
He Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Northeast
Posts: 7,745
Thanks: 26,545
Thanked 26,814 Times in 5,772 Posts
Rep Power: 21474858 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
-Dapper ![]() ![]() ![]() Are you educated or indoctrinated? |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#10 | |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Transsexual Man Preferred Pronoun?:
Male Relationship Status:
Married to The Woman of My Dreams <3 Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 802
Thanks: 796
Thanked 2,668 Times in 527 Posts
Rep Power: 18972345 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
|
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#11 | |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 475
Thanks: 396
Thanked 920 Times in 225 Posts
Rep Power: 8450334 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
![]()
__________________
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
~Dr. Suess http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/q...star_green.gif |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#12 | |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Woman Preferred Pronoun?:
HER - SHE Relationship Status:
Relating Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird
Posts: 5,408
Thanks: 11,826
Thanked 10,827 Times in 3,199 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
|
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|
|