Ask a trans person!

[Linus]

Originally Posted by June

I don't see transitioning as a betrayal. I will admit to being perplexed by it sometimes. When I came out, I knew about Transwomen, and that made sense to me -- "Who doesn't want to be a woman?" And I understood, as much as I was able to about feeling you didn't fit the body you were in and needing to change the exterior to match the interior. When I first became aware of Transmen, initially, that was harder because "I" didn't feel male at all. See, and this is how "I" and I suspect others feel because "We" don't feel male. But it is not about "Us", it is about "You". When I was finally able to ascribe the same internal logic I used for Transwomen, I was able to move forward a bit. One of the things I know is Transphobic behavior for me, is the worry and judgement I feel when I see so many people doing it. I worry that they haven't gotten the counseling or medical attention needed or that they may not be aware of the long term effects of Testosterone on their bodies. I know that it is not for me, June to worry about, my responsibility is to open my mind and heart to people, regardless of how they identify and let them worry about themselves and hope they have a good support system.

June, can I ask something: do you think your transphobia is based more in misandry than transphobia itself? It seems that you are ok with the path that MTFs take but uncomfortable with that of FTMs and it makes me wonder if it's a bit more of misandry than transphobia at work here.

I think it's hard to describe to someone what it's like to be transsexual. It would be like you describing to me what it's like to be whole with one's gender. It's a foreign concept, I believe, for many of us.

Originally Posted by Mister Bent

There are still plenty of people who consider this kind of thinking indicative of mental illness. There is nothing in their experience that can help them relate to, or in anyway understand, the reality of our situation. Never has there been a day in which they hated their anatomy in the way that transgendered/sexed people might.

Most people are incapable of thinking outside their own experience, so I understand and accept that it's hard for them to "wrap their minds around" it. What I don't understand, and won't accept, is their intolerance and continued choice to remain ignorant.

I choose, also, to accept that the burden is on me to help them get past where they are in their thinking. That it is not helpful for me to show them anger, fear or their own hatred in return.

Mister Bent, agreed. I think the biggest issue with those that think this is a mental illness is that they use it against us, denying us medical attention, help, rights, etc. I also agree on the concept of the burden to help someone address it is by showing understanding, compassion for others. The idea of "treat others as you want to be treated", even if they cannot do it. By responding to someone in anger, it does nothing, IMO, other than get them more angry and less likely to listen.


To those just reading: this thread is for trans individuals who need support but also for non-trans individuals who want to understand and learn. Many of us are willing to answer whatever questions are asked for those that want to understand or be educated.

[Linus]

Originally Posted by June

Thank you, Linus. I know you started this back in November, but this is scary because I know I am going to fuck up at some point and hurt someones feelings, and that's not my intent at all. I'm not making excuses in advance, I am just acknowleging that it might happen, and I'm worried.

As long as you recognize it when it happens and then listen afterwards, that's all that matters.