What attracts you to Ftms ......

dixie · 08-13-2010, 11:02 AM

As for me personally, I can't really say that there is a specific thing that attracts me to ftms. It is the same thing that attracts me to male ID butches, female ID butches, femmes, etc. It is the essence of the true persons themselves and not contingent on a label or ID or gender basis. My connection to a person on intellectual, emotional and intimate levels is what matters to me...

Kent · 06-12-2012, 10:22 AM

Just a little bump...

Quintease · 06-12-2012, 11:42 AM

Crazy! There is some really fantastic stuff in this thread and some really offensive stuff.

< -- married to a transguy and no I don't feel the need to date bio men in order to validate his gender. He's big and smart enough to do that himself.

aishah · 06-12-2012, 02:44 PM

passionately in love with a transguy who identifies as straight in some ways and queer in others. and also identifies as butch.

i see my partner as male and i relate to him that way. when i look at him i don't think "female" at all. he does have a strong queer butch energy that i love...and he's comfortable identifying as butch. when we got together he was still at the beginning of his transition and he's still figuring out a lot of things himself. i think if he'd identified as straight to the point that i felt like he also expected me to id as straight or something it may not have worked...but he also has strong ties to the queer community, and he was attracted to me in large part because i'm a queer femme. he doesn't expect me to be any different than that. for me...it's never been a challenge to see him as a man. i cannot wrap my head around how people constantly misgender him. because when i look at him, i see a man. our relationship dynamics and our sex are queer and we like it that way. partly because he is a stone butch and i am a stone femme, our relationship does feel and look different than relationships i've had with cismen. but that doesn't change the fact that i relate to him as a man. one thing that attracted me to him, besides the physical and the fact that he is a hot butch (who is also intelligent, caring, fun to be around, considerate, etc.), is that he affirmed my identity and loved me for who i am (as a queer stone femme). he does not think he is very physically attractive, but i disagree wholeheartedly. he makes me melt. and i'm lucky.

i'm attracted to people of any gender. i tend to be especially attracted to people who id as butch (whether female, ftm, mtf, or other). but i'm also attracted to mtfs, people who identify as other genders, femmes, straight cisguys, etc.

Quintease · 06-13-2012, 04:18 AM

My hubbie's straight and 100% looks, sounds and smells a man. We had a few problems in the beginning. He resented me continuing to ID as a lesbian, while the heterosexuals in his life insisted I should call myself bisexual or straight in order to validate his gender *rolls eyes*

It was only when I pointed out how misogynistic that was, being expected to 'change' my sexual orientation in order to please my man, (it's not like changing your name or style of dress, but an integral part of me that I was born with), then he realised how ridiculous that was. A transguy is like everyone else, if he needs to change his partner in order to be happy, then he has problems and will probably never be happy.

G Snap! · 06-13-2012, 11:55 AM

(whew, it took me a little to read through this thread. And I didn't read the "expectations" thread either...)

I can't relate what attracts me to ftm's because I have been with just biomales until I started seeing @ and I never considered ftm until I met him. I never knew any until I met @ and I honestly don't know if I will date others as I am in this relationship for the long run.

You see, I love everything about him. The way he looks, smells, feels, tastes, and (did I get all the senses?) sounds (and his voice is a whole 'nuther story.)
I absolutely love love love living with him, he is everything I love about men without the "unpleasantries" (I am not listing those.) And he is as good of a cook as he is good looking. I am spoiled!

I don't think of him being any more sensitive, as I know a few butches who are outright d*cks (pardon my term) and are less sensitive than some bio males I know. Sensitivity comes with being a good communicator and listener and this is a learned skill, through upbringing or classes.
I (like to think) as a ftm progresses in their transformation and become settled in the body they once hated, they learn to love themselves and are a happier person and are more receptive to listen to others. They are (perhaps) better men because they try to be good men and are secure in/with their manhood. The only insult I ever find (to him) is anyone assuming I am a lesbian because I am with him, as it means they do not see him as a man.

I don't have any expectations of him because he was once female. I find having expectations just sets ones self up for disappointment. But he is forgiving during those times of the month when I feel like poo. Bio guys have no idea what it is like.

Nadeest · 06-13-2012, 03:13 PM

One of the chatrooms/forums that I hung out in, when I first started transitioning was primarily for transgendered people, especially for those that were considering transition. There I met an ftm that I later ended up dating. He was the first person that I had dated, since I had started transition.
He was so sweet and caring towards me, that I've had a soft spot for transmen since then. For one thing, I tend to feel a lot safer with them, then I do with cis-males. Also, they have some understanding of the stuff that I've tended to go through, during transition.
I would also date a transwoman for that same reason, if any asked me out.

06-12-2012, 10:22 AM	#2
Kent Member How Do You Identify?: Male Relationship Status: Single Tournaments Won: 2 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: TX Posts: 1,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,564 Thanked 2,058 Times in 720 Posts Rep Power: 19241326	Just a little bump... __________________ Kent

06-12-2012, 11:42 AM	#3
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,817 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10560327	Crazy! There is some really fantastic stuff in this thread and some really offensive stuff. < -- married to a transguy and no I don't feel the need to date bio men in order to validate his gender. He's big and smart enough to do that himself. __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

06-13-2012, 04:18 AM	#5
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,817 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10560327	My hubbie's straight and 100% looks, sounds and smells a man. We had a few problems in the beginning. He resented me continuing to ID as a lesbian, while the heterosexuals in his life insisted I should call myself bisexual or straight in order to validate his gender rolls eyes It was only when I pointed out how misogynistic that was, being expected to 'change' my sexual orientation in order to please my man, (it's not like changing your name or style of dress, but an integral part of me that I was born with), then he realised how ridiculous that was. A transguy is like everyone else, if he needs to change his partner in order to be happy, then he has problems and will probably never be happy. __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

08-13-2010, 11:02 AM	#1
dixie Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: I usually just poke it with a stick. Preferred Pronoun?: Bitch Relationship Status: Intertwined deeply Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: We're all a little mad here. Posts: 6,627 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,972 Thanked 21,383 Times in 4,808 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	As for me personally, I can't really say that there is a specific thing that attracts me to ftms. It is the same thing that attracts me to male ID butches, female ID butches, femmes, etc. It is the essence of the true persons themselves and not contingent on a label or ID or gender basis. My connection to a person on intellectual, emotional and intimate levels is what matters to me...

06-12-2012, 02:44 PM	#4
aishah Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, little one Relationship Status: dating myself. Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: dallas, tx Posts: 1,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,823 Thanked 6,440 Times in 1,288 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	passionately in love with a transguy who identifies as straight in some ways and queer in others. and also identifies as butch. i see my partner as male and i relate to him that way. when i look at him i don't think "female" at all. he does have a strong queer butch energy that i love...and he's comfortable identifying as butch. when we got together he was still at the beginning of his transition and he's still figuring out a lot of things himself. i think if he'd identified as straight to the point that i felt like he also expected me to id as straight or something it may not have worked...but he also has strong ties to the queer community, and he was attracted to me in large part because i'm a queer femme. he doesn't expect me to be any different than that. for me...it's never been a challenge to see him as a man. i cannot wrap my head around how people constantly misgender him. because when i look at him, i see a man. our relationship dynamics and our sex are queer and we like it that way. partly because he is a stone butch and i am a stone femme, our relationship does feel and look different than relationships i've had with cismen. but that doesn't change the fact that i relate to him as a man. one thing that attracted me to him, besides the physical and the fact that he is a hot butch (who is also intelligent, caring, fun to be around, considerate, etc.), is that he affirmed my identity and loved me for who i am (as a queer stone femme). he does not think he is very physically attractive, but i disagree wholeheartedly. he makes me melt. and i'm lucky. i'm attracted to people of any gender. i tend to be especially attracted to people who id as butch (whether female, ftm, mtf, or other). but i'm also attracted to mtfs, people who identify as other genders, femmes, straight cisguys, etc.

06-13-2012, 11:55 AM	#6
G Snap! Member How Do You Identify?: gay. I'm very happy, thank you! Preferred Pronoun?: Miss Relationship Status: Chefhmboyrd's seeing eye blonde Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Nashvegas Posts: 253 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 412 Thanked 1,109 Times in 229 Posts Rep Power: 6596929	(whew, it took me a little to read through this thread. And I didn't read the "expectations" thread either...) I can't relate what attracts me to ftm's because I have been with just biomales until I started seeing @ and I never considered ftm until I met him. I never knew any until I met @ and I honestly don't know if I will date others as I am in this relationship for the long run. You see, I love everything about him. The way he looks, smells, feels, tastes, and (did I get all the senses?) sounds (and his voice is a whole 'nuther story.) I absolutely love love love living with him, he is everything I love about men without the "unpleasantries" (I am not listing those.) And he is as good of a cook as he is good looking. I am spoiled! I don't think of him being any more sensitive, as I know a few butches who are outright d*cks (pardon my term) and are less sensitive than some bio males I know. Sensitivity comes with being a good communicator and listener and this is a learned skill, through upbringing or classes. I (like to think) as a ftm progresses in their transformation and become settled in the body they once hated, they learn to love themselves and are a happier person and are more receptive to listen to others. They are (perhaps) better men because they try to be good men and are secure in/with their manhood. The only insult I ever find (to him) is anyone assuming I am a lesbian because I am with him, as it means they do not see him as a man. I don't have any expectations of him because he was once female. I find having expectations just sets ones self up for disappointment. But he is forgiving during those times of the month when I feel like poo. Bio guys have no idea what it is like.

06-13-2012, 03:13 PM	#7
Nadeest Member How Do You Identify?: as myself Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Leesburg, FL Posts: 595 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,876 Thanked 2,118 Times in 501 Posts Rep Power: 17077997	One of the chatrooms/forums that I hung out in, when I first started transitioning was primarily for transgendered people, especially for those that were considering transition. There I met an ftm that I later ended up dating. He was the first person that I had dated, since I had started transition. He was so sweet and caring towards me, that I've had a soft spot for transmen since then. For one thing, I tend to feel a lot safer with them, then I do with cis-males. Also, they have some understanding of the stuff that I've tended to go through, during transition. I would also date a transwoman for that same reason, if any asked me out.