Poly Relationships

Isadora · 08-31-2010, 02:35 PM

I have been polyandrous for 10 years. Hawk and I had been together 12 years when we began discussion on a polyandrous relationship. It was not an easy thing to sit down and discuss. We read The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and took a almost a year to talk about how it would work for us.

I live, mostly, poly fidelity relationships. This means I have two primary partners and am faithful to them. I, however, have been open to others in my life at different times and at one time had five lovers. Yes, it almost killed me. LOL

A lot of people claim to be poly but are really non-monogamist or actually serial monogamists. It is not easy. I have absolutely had my jealous moments and have experienced absolute anger over having sex/play with other people. Jealousy is a part of ALL of our experiences and working through it is hard. Hard. It is easy to talk about it is not so easy to have your partner walk out the door knowing they are going to meet someone else. When you come home with marks people may freak. I had one lover who when saw me marked from agreed upon poly boundaries, had such a look of anger and fear that it basically ended the relationship.

Also, I have very real boundaries around friendship and poly. For example, I do not wish to know or socialize with most (not all) of my lovers partners or other lovers. So, I make it very clear that if you choose to be involved with a friend of mine or someone else, I will not invite them into my house. I will not hang in the room with them, I will not be part of their lives.

It is my responsibility to make that very clear to potential partners as it is for hym to make sure hys chosen lovers know the rules I share with hym. It has caused many misunderstandings when all the boundaries are not clear. That said, I have also had amazing wonderful relationships with partner's loves and wives. It is all about the people involved on an individual basis. My point being remember to take care of yourself by being as clear as possible.

Sometimes breaking up a poly relationship has nothing to do with it being poly and everything to do with lack of trust, breaking of boundaries, contracts, lies and deception. None of these is unique to a poly relationships any relationship can have these issues.

Sometimes I choose non monogamy. The difference is the relationship. To me non monogamy is mostly about sex not building a love relationship. Polyandrous is about falling in love...at least it is to me.

girl_dee · 09-10-2010, 08:16 PM

Lots of wisdom in this thread.. Thanks for sharing.. I am subscribing!

girl_dee · 11-01-2010, 08:55 PM

anyone watch the series Sister Wives?

Jesse · 11-01-2010, 08:58 PM

I've seen it a few times, also watched the special the other night.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

Lots of wisdom in this thread.. Thanks for sharing.. I am subscribing!

girl_dee · 11-01-2010, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tranzman

I've seen it a few times, also watched the special the other night.

what did ya think of it..? I hear the first wife has been fired from her job because of the show...

Jesse · 11-01-2010, 09:19 PM

I think it's difficult to really show many of the positives of the poly lifestyle on a televised show. Sometimes they seem to angle it in such a way that it looks ugly...possibly they are more interested in the drama than in the reality of the 24/7 lifestyle. <shrug>

Not sure if she lost it or not but I do know there is talk of it, also they were drug into court due to the publicity from the 4th marriage.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

what did ya think of it..? I hear the first wife has been fired from her job because of the show...

girl_dee · 11-01-2010, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tranzman

I think it's difficult to really show many of the positives of the poly lifestyle on a televised show. Sometimes they seem to angle it in such a way that it looks ugly...possibly they are more interested in the drama than in the reality of the 24/7 lifestyle. <shrug>

Not sure if she lost it or not but I do know there is talk of it, also they were drug into court due to the publicity from the 4th marriage.

no kidding, all thats normally ever shown are the pedophile communes...

I am glad the show is being aired.. its showing the functionality and how much power the wives have, and their wonderful bond.

Jesse · 11-01-2010, 09:27 PM

Lol! Last night I watched the special. They were being interviewed, and he flat out told the interviewer that he is not the boss, except for when it comes to getting the kids to do their homework or something.

I find it interesting, but wonder if others who are in poly relationship see it as a mockery or as not a true representation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

no kidding, all thats normally ever shown are the pedophile communes...

I am glad the show is being aired.. its showing the functionality and how much power the wives have, and their wonderful bond.

Tommi · 02-15-2011, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isadora

I have been polyandrous for 10 years. Hawk and I had been together 12 years when we began discussion on a polyandrous relationship. It was not an easy thing to sit down and discuss. We read The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and took a almost a year to talk about how it would work for us.

I live, mostly, poly fidelity relationships. This means I have two primary partners and am faithful to them. I, however, have been open to others in my life at different times and at one time had five lovers. Yes, it almost killed me. LOL

A lot of people claim to be poly but are really non-monogamist or actually serial monogamists. It is not easy. I have absolutely had my jealous moments and have experienced absolute anger over having sex/play with other people. Jealousy is a part of ALL of our experiences and working through it is hard. Hard. It is easy to talk about it is not so easy to have your partner walk out the door knowing they are going to meet someone else. When you come home with marks people may freak. I had one lover who when saw me marked from agreed upon poly boundaries, had such a look of anger and fear that it basically ended the relationship.

Also, I have very real boundaries around friendship and poly. For example, I do not wish to know or socialize with most (not all) of my lovers partners or other lovers. So, I make it very clear that if you choose to be involved with a friend of mine or someone else, I will not invite them into my house. I will not hang in the room with them, I will not be part of their lives.

It is my responsibility to make that very clear to potential partners as it is for hym to make sure hys chosen lovers know the rules I share with hym. It has caused many misunderstandings when all the boundaries are not clear. That said, I have also had amazing wonderful relationships with partner's loves and wives. It is all about the people involved on an individual basis. My point being remember to take care of yourself by being as clear as possible.

Sometimes breaking up a poly relationship has nothing to do with it being poly and everything to do with lack of trust, breaking of boundaries, contracts, lies and deception. None of these is unique to a poly relationships any relationship can have these issues.

Sometimes I choose non monogamy. The difference is the relationship. To me non monogamy is mostly about sex not building a love relationship. Polyandrous is about falling in love...at least it is to me.

Refreshing the page and the thread

"""Sometimes I choose non monogamy. The difference is the relationship. To me non monogamy is mostly about sex not building a love relationship. Polyandrous is about falling in love...at least it is to me."""

Thank you Isadora. . I enjoy reading and re-reading your posts and the link above[/B]

08-31-2010, 02:35 PM	#1
Isadora Member How Do You Identify?: Momma, Ma'am Preferred Pronoun?: She/Her Relationship Status: I am in love. Truly Madly Deeply Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: California Posts: 997 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 502 Thanked 2,127 Times in 559 Posts Rep Power: 2369288	I have been polyandrous for 10 years. Hawk and I had been together 12 years when we began discussion on a polyandrous relationship. It was not an easy thing to sit down and discuss. We read The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and took a almost a year to talk about how it would work for us. I live, mostly, poly fidelity relationships. This means I have two primary partners and am faithful to them. I, however, have been open to others in my life at different times and at one time had five lovers. Yes, it almost killed me. LOL A lot of people claim to be poly but are really non-monogamist or actually serial monogamists. It is not easy. I have absolutely had my jealous moments and have experienced absolute anger over having sex/play with other people. Jealousy is a part of ALL of our experiences and working through it is hard. Hard. It is easy to talk about it is not so easy to have your partner walk out the door knowing they are going to meet someone else. When you come home with marks people may freak. I had one lover who when saw me marked from agreed upon poly boundaries, had such a look of anger and fear that it basically ended the relationship. Also, I have very real boundaries around friendship and poly. For example, I do not wish to know or socialize with most (not all) of my lovers partners or other lovers. So, I make it very clear that if you choose to be involved with a friend of mine or someone else, I will not invite them into my house. I will not hang in the room with them, I will not be part of their lives. It is my responsibility to make that very clear to potential partners as it is for hym to make sure hys chosen lovers know the rules I share with hym. It has caused many misunderstandings when all the boundaries are not clear. That said, I have also had amazing wonderful relationships with partner's loves and wives. It is all about the people involved on an individual basis. My point being remember to take care of yourself by being as clear as possible. Sometimes breaking up a poly relationship has nothing to do with it being poly and everything to do with lack of trust, breaking of boundaries, contracts, lies and deception. None of these is unique to a poly relationships any relationship can have these issues. Sometimes I choose non monogamy. The difference is the relationship. To me non monogamy is mostly about sex not building a love relationship. Polyandrous is about falling in love...at least it is to me. __________________ "I have a respect for manners as such, they are a way of dealing with people you don't agree with or like." Margaret Mead Read me! www.leatherati.com

09-10-2010, 08:16 PM	#2
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,829 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Lots of wisdom in this thread.. Thanks for sharing.. I am subscribing!

11-01-2010, 08:55 PM	#3
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,829 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	anyone watch the series Sister Wives?