Poly Relationships

girl_dee · 02-14-2011, 05:01 PM

great points Sister aurora.

It is true, most poly relationships consist of one Dominant who will choose to bring a new partner in, pretty much whenever they want to. I am glad this is not our case ( I would have never ventured into that). The marriage that I entered into was solid, I am an addition to that. No one was looking for another partner. It just happened. It all made sense at that point.

Not being *brought* in to fill a void, or fix anything has made me very willing to venture into this. It works. We are not perfect but a life without even the smallest challenges would not be growing.

Having the Sisterly bond with aurora is also incredible. We've always connected somewhat and this is the greatest level of that. Talking things out and connecting is a wonderful gift.

Martina · 02-14-2011, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sassy_girl

It is true, most poly relationships consist of one Dominant who will choose to bring a new partner in, pretty much whenever they want to.

i really don't see this. i am not sure i have ever seen someone bring in a new person to a family without any preparation or negotiation, whether they "can" or not. i imagine it happens, but . . .

And most poly isn't D/s either.

aurora · 02-15-2011, 06:56 AM

Yes, indeed the Ds poly is a fairly small population in the community as a whole. And a successful poly dynamic is always based upon the feelings and needs of everyone involved. But within the BDSM community, where there are situations where the power exchange allows (with previous agreement) one member of the family to make choices for the others that would normally have to be negotiated continuously, there is the room for imposed additions. And, from what I have seen, even though the submissive members have given consent to whatever is to happen, it does not work out well if the new person is brought in without full, whole-hearted agreement from the more senior members.
Also, some of the Ds poly situations are more loosely-knit leather families where most live in other cities and are not in the same house...in this case the poly family members might feel a loss of extra communication with the Dom(me) when a new member is added, but are not in the day-to-day sharing the bathroom type communication with the other family members.

aurora · 02-15-2011, 07:26 AM

It also might be useful to chat about the different challenges and rewards that are found in online poly vs. in house poly. Many of the modern poly families I have met include a certain amount of online relationships, and this is a very interesting element to consider.

02-15-2011, 06:56 AM	#3
aurora Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Femme Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: The CronesCradle Posts: 62 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 100 Thanked 208 Times in 46 Posts Rep Power: 342171	Yes, indeed the Ds poly is a fairly small population in the community as a whole. And a successful poly dynamic is always based upon the feelings and needs of everyone involved. But within the BDSM community, where there are situations where the power exchange allows (with previous agreement) one member of the family to make choices for the others that would normally have to be negotiated continuously, there is the room for imposed additions. And, from what I have seen, even though the submissive members have given consent to whatever is to happen, it does not work out well if the new person is brought in without full, whole-hearted agreement from the more senior members. Also, some of the Ds poly situations are more loosely-knit leather families where most live in other cities and are not in the same house...in this case the poly family members might feel a loss of extra communication with the Dom(me) when a new member is added, but are not in the day-to-day sharing the bathroom type communication with the other family members. __________________ Owned and loved by my Sexy Syr Bebo, loved and cherished by my beautiful spirit sister Dee...what more could a girl want? Well...OK...maybe to have people check out my book Jasmine's Choice by Aurora Dominiqua in the site bookstore.

02-15-2011, 07:26 AM	#4
aurora Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Femme Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: The CronesCradle Posts: 62 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 100 Thanked 208 Times in 46 Posts Rep Power: 342171	It also might be useful to chat about the different challenges and rewards that are found in online poly vs. in house poly. Many of the modern poly families I have met include a certain amount of online relationships, and this is a very interesting element to consider. __________________ Owned and loved by my Sexy Syr Bebo, loved and cherished by my beautiful spirit sister Dee...what more could a girl want? Well...OK...maybe to have people check out my book Jasmine's Choice by Aurora Dominiqua in the site bookstore.

02-14-2011, 05:01 PM	#1
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,829 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	great points Sister aurora. It is true, most poly relationships consist of one Dominant who will choose to bring a new partner in, pretty much whenever they want to. I am glad this is not our case ( I would have never ventured into that). The marriage that I entered into was solid, I am an addition to that. No one was looking for another partner. It just happened. It all made sense at that point. Not being brought in to fill a void, or fix anything has made me very willing to venture into this. It works. We are not perfect but a life without even the smallest challenges would not be growing. Having the Sisterly bond with aurora is also incredible. We've always connected somewhat and this is the greatest level of that. Talking things out and connecting is a wonderful gift.