When you turn out the lights...

[deeperstill]

Gemme--did you just change your location?! *giggles*

To all: thanks for your thoughts. i needed the check because i was, as usual, the only person of color in the room, and the only femme to boot, and prior to the comment i describe above, a different butch made a remark about queers not "passing" in society. I had to remind the room that i was a femme (surprised looks ALL AROUND) and that i usually pass (unless i try really hard NOT to). sigh.

Anyway, made me think maybe i was being overly sensitive....thanks for the reality check

[Soft*Silver]

Deeper...its a shame that when you struggle to have your reality confirmed, you feel you are being oversensitive. We as a rainbow community still struggle with inclusion. In theory its regarded but in reality its so very hard to practice as a group mentality. We will get there someday and it is people like you, who sit in the masses and speak out so that differences arent slid under the table and made invisible.

Aesop said its easy to be brave from a safe distance. I thank you for walking in our own ranks and dispelling notions about who we think we are. Unless we face ourselves, we will never know how great we truly are....

[waxnrope]

Originally Posted by deeperstill

Gemme--did you just change your location?! *giggles*

To all: thanks for your thoughts. i needed the check because i was, as usual, the only person of color in the room, and the only femme to boot, and prior to the comment i describe above, a different butch made a remark about queers not "passing" in society. I had to remind the room that i was a femme (surprised looks ALL AROUND) and that i usually pass (unless i try really hard NOT to). sigh.

Anyway, made me think maybe i was being overly sensitive....thanks for the reality check

Deeper,
These are the types of things said, IMHO and experience, by white "liberals" (as opposed to "progressive", or more informed thinkers). The often seen *satisfied* expression on their faces is a reflection of their (delusional) *good deed*, and their interior pat on the back.

I find approaching people who think these ways problematic SOMETIMES. Other times, sitting down with them privately and telling them that what they said, and I am sure to point out that they meant well (I think in a misguided sense, they do), what they said is a problem, and explain why.

There is the funny, yet very damning utterance by Organic. WHEN the lights are off begs the question of WHEN they are on. Moreover, the statement falls into that faulty homogeneity of "same"ness. And, we are not all the same.

Corkey is damn right. Being a submissive does not mean that you have to be silent while being publicly humiliated about your race. And, since I don't run with the herd in the life, I don't think that you should take it by your Top/Owner either unless you've negotiated this ahead of time. This is simply My opinion ...