Exclusion: A Women's Issue?

[MizzSabra]

What about those of us who don't ID one way or the other?
Or those of us who straddle the line between femme and butch?
Or those of us who have both a female and male ID?

Would I be excluded from posting in a thread about male identity? Would I be excluded from posting in a thread about femme invisibility?

Just curious.

[BullDog]

Apocalipstic, just my thoughts, but if a thread is in the Femme Zone I as a Butch should be mindful that all the threads there are part of the Femme Zone and I should be respectful of that. It doesn't necessarily mean I absolutely can't ever post in any of those threads, but I should be mindful and respectful that it is Femme space. It's also my responsibility to read the OP and the thread in it's entirety before posting. If I don't that's on me. It's also my responsibility to realize not every conversation is about me or will include me and that's ok.

I also am not sure people are talking about these threads being Only in that no one else can't post ever, just that if a thread is for a specific identity then that is the focus of the thread. But that is just my understanding so far. I think it would be helpful for the opening post to set out the intent of the thread, I am not sure they need to be Only threads or in a special place in the forum.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by MizzSabra

What about those of us who don't ID one way or the other?
Or those of us who straddle the line between femme and butch?
Or those of us who have both a female and male ID?

Would I be excluded from posting in a thread about male identity? Would I be excluded from posting in a thread about femme invisibility?

Just curious.

Many people fall into that category, so you think there need to be zero "only" threads? I am fine with that too, just...it can be heartbreaking if there is a thread about incest for example and people come in and say, "well your parents did the best they could".

I am fine with all the threads being open to anyone, but sometimes it would be nice to be able to talk to likeminded people with no one feeling left out. Human nature being what it is, ain't gonna happen

Great point!

Originally Posted by BullDog

Apocalipstic, just my thoughts, but if a thread is in the Femme Zone I as a Butch should be mindful that all the threads there are part of the Femme Zone and I should be respectful of that. It doesn't necessarily mean I absolutely can't ever post in any of those threads, but I should be mindful and respectful that it is Femme space. It's also my responsibility to read the OP and the thread in it's entirety before posting. If I don't that's on me. It's also my responsibility to realize not every conversation is about me or will include me and that's ok.

I also am not sure people are talking about these threads being Only in that no one else can't post ever, just that if a thread is for a specific identity then that is the focus of the thread. But that is just my understanding so far. I think it would be helpful for the opening post to set out the intent of the thread, I am not sure they need to be Only threads or in a special place in the forum.

Yes, if people would read the OP and the thread before they posted, it would be great. But, is it going to happen? Doubt it.

I was merely trying to nail down for myself what Jess was saying and pondering if we are capable of not butting in on other people's threads.

The threads like the Femme one, or different Butch or Trans ones end up being an argument about who is allowed to post and what they are allowed to post.

Frustrating.

Again, not saying we need "only" threads, just saying if we did, I don't understand logistically how that would work.

Make sense????

[Jess]

Originally Posted by MizzSabra

What about those of us who don't ID one way or the other?
Or those of us who straddle the line between femme and butch?
Or those of us who have both a female and male ID?

Would I be excluded from posting in a thread about male identity? Would I be excluded from posting in a thread about femme invisibility?

Just curious.

Again. more great questions. I honestly have no idea how to make this happen. I honestly have no idea how to take " my safe space" without making "someone" feel left out.

The very pointed questions you ask bring up a different area to consider. I have not seen a "tweener" or "andro" or "other space" within any of the butch and femme oriented sites I have visited. I'm not sure why that is unless it was the creators ( web site creator.. not God or whatever..lol ) to specifically create a space for butches and femmes to feel safe. I don't know and don't pretend to.

All I do know, is there has to be a way to navigate this within such a large vastly individual and creative caring community.

Thank you!

[Apocalipstic]

Maybe there is no such thing as a safe place????

[MizzSabra]

Originally Posted by Jess

Again. more great questions. I honestly have no idea how to make this happen. I honestly have no idea how to take " my safe space" without making "someone" feel left out.

The very pointed questions you ask bring up a different area to consider. I have not seen a "tweener" or "andro" or "other space" within any of the butch and femme oriented sites I have visited. I'm not sure why that is unless it was the creators ( web site creator.. not God or whatever..lol ) to specifically create a space for butches and femmes to feel safe. I don't know and don't pretend to.

All I do know, is there has to be a way to navigate this within such a large vastly individual and creative caring community.

Thank you!

I am not a tweener or andro, I am GenderTrash (thx to PapaChris)...I embrace both sides of butch-femme and male/female ID. So this is why I feel comfortable addressing/participating in most conversations, whether they be butch or femme or whatever.

And to address Apocalipstic's post: I don't know HOW I feel about "only" threads.


ETA: Finnochio (see my identity) means Fag in Italian. And sometimes that's exactly how I feel. I'm just a big ole drag queen fag in a woman's body.

[Jess]

Originally Posted by MizzSabra

I am not a tweener or andro, I am GenderTrash (thx to PapaChris)...I embrace both sides of butch-femme and male/female ID. So this is why I feel comfortable addressing/participating in most conversations, whether they be butch or femme or whatever.

And to address Apocalipstic's post: I don't know HOW I feel about "only" threads.

Thank you again Mizz Sabra. I think where ever someone truly feels comfortable is exactly where they belong.

I think it must be a part of my personal journey to answer those questions for myself and not be told "who" or "what" I am.

Please note, I was not using the terms "andro" or "tweener" in any form of derogatory manner. I observe and respect that many folks are very fluid in orientation as well as id. It is not unlike my own spiritual journey, in that I see the power of grace in the most surprising places.

ETA : Me too regarding the "big ole fag in womans body"... LOL.. cept the drag queen part.. I can't walk in heels.. smiles