Mental Illness

MsTinkerbelly · 12-11-2009, 11:27 AM

Music can calm me down faster than anything else...especially Christmas songs. They say that Christmas music (especially up tempo) releases lots of good endorphins into the system.

I journal and write decent poetry only when unhappy...I have been unable to write anything of importance in quite a while. The writing pulls me deeper into myself, and makes things so much worse! I do a lot of self checking now when I feel the urge to write.

Apocalipstic · 12-11-2009, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blushingfemme

Music can calm me down faster than anything else...especially Christmas songs. They say that Christmas music (especially up tempo) releases lots of good endorphins into the system.

I journal and write decent poetry only when unhappy...I have been unable to write anything of importance in quite a while. The writing pulls me deeper into myself, and makes things so much worse! I do a lot of self checking now when I feel the urge to write.

I general write when I am unhappy too.

In college, I tried a poetry group. My poetry would be about shattering into frozen shards and everyone else's was about things like their granddad's canoe.

MsTinkerbelly · 12-11-2009, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I general write when I am unhappy too.

In college, I tried a poetry group. My poetry would be about shattering into frozen shards and everyone else's was about things like their granddad's canoe.

OMG! This made me laugh so hard...not because it is funny, but because you sound so much like my "spinning into the ever widening abyss" style of writing. It was a relief to think that someone understands what I am saying, and it made me feel good! Thank you so much....

Apocalipstic · 12-11-2009, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blushingfemme

OMG! This made me laugh so hard...not because it is funny, but because you sound so much like my "spinning into the ever widening abyss" style of writing. It was a relief to think that someone understands what I am saying, and it made me feel good! Thank you so much....

Right there with ya and on the same page!

Yeay!

NotAnAverageGuy · 12-12-2009, 12:22 AM

Wow, shocked to see that some people only write when unhappy.

I journal happy or sad, I guess once something sticks it sticks.

Unndunn · 12-12-2009, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NotAnAverageGuy

Wow, shocked to see that some people only write when unhappy.

I journal happy or sad, I guess once something sticks it sticks.

I don't know about anyone else who writes when depressed, but for me it's not about wanting to write, it's about being able to write. When I am happy I don't "feel" it and I'm usually off doing other things. When I'm depressed (way different than just being sad) I am stuck in my feelings more, and tend to dissect everything going on in my life, my heart, my head and out of that comes my writing, which is almost always in the form of lyrics. I've tried putting pen to paper when I'm happy, or just feeling okay, but it doesn't have the same result-- not by a long shot. I'm not sure how it is for other people.

NotAnAverageGuy · 12-12-2009, 03:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unndunn

I don't know about anyone else who writes when depressed, but for me it's not about wanting to write, it's about being able to write. When I am happy I don't "feel" it and I'm usually off doing other things. When I'm depressed (way different than just being sad) I am stuck in my feelings more, and tend to dissect everything going on in my life, my heart, my head and out of that comes my writing, which is almost always in the form of lyrics. I've tried putting pen to paper when I'm happy, or just feeling okay, but it doesn't have the same result-- not by a long shot. I'm not sure how it is for other people.

Do you write poetry, prose or just journal?

Darth Denkay · 12-12-2009, 12:57 PM

Hey all!

I feel as though I've been MIA for quite some time now - in reality I think it's been about 4 days. Unfortunately my online time is sometimes really limited.

There have been so many posts that I was going to respond to, but my post would get completely out of control. For the moment, let me just say how nice it is to have a place to share our stuff. I really admire everyone for being willing to put yourselves out there. I think we've created a really great space here, and I hope my involvement can be more regular.

I am happy to say that right now I'm not really "feeling" my depression, seem to have things under control. This is really cool, especially for the holiday season, but I try to avoid all the hoopla and keep my holiday simple. Actually, in the past things have gotten difficult for me after the holidays - January can be tough, which sucks cause my birthday is in January. But so far so good. Recently we have touched on a couple interesting topics. I do utilize music, more for anxiety than depression but it certain can be helpful for both. My music of choice is classical, jazz, big band. For the most part any music with words doesn't work - I think the words distract me and keep me from feeling the power of the music itself. There is one exception to this - I can listen to broadway and it work. Don't know why but apparently those lyrics don't distract me the way others do.

As far as journaling/writing, that's not something that helpful for me. Other types of art therapy haven't proven helpful for me either. I think maybe what I need is to just relax and let the music carry me; anything that requires me to create doesn't work.

Hoping everyone is taking care of you as best you can, and remember, we're all in this silly world together.

JustLovelyJenn · 12-12-2009, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NotAnAverageGuy

Wow, shocked to see that some people only write when unhappy.

I journal happy or sad, I guess once something sticks it sticks.

I haven't posted about writing, yet... because I wasn't sure exactly how to express why and when I write, but this really acted as a catalyst for my explanation. I can and have written both happy and sad, however I actually tend to write MORE when I am happy. When I am going through any sort of depression, one of my major contributors to my anxiety and depression is that my head seems to be too full, moving too fast, and I can not piece things together in a way that seems coherent or logical. Because of this it is more difficult for me to write at these times. I write a lot when I am happy, mostly music... but some poetry... If I do write when I am depressed it is only when I seem to have been pushed to a point of obsessing on a particular worry or thing that is or has happened. Then I write, and its always very dark then. Poetry, never music, and frequently vivid analogies and representations. The other thing I notice about my poetry from these periods is that I use it to force myself to see a good, a reason to move past whatever the issue is. Its my way of driving myself back into the light. Even with the dark imagery, there is always a message of hope... I would love to share one of these with you.

Phoenix

Bright and beautiful my soul is drawn to the flames
Drawn in and bewitched
I am warmed by the heat of the fire
I see by its glow
And I walk further
Stepping into the heart of the blaze
For an instant there is heaven
An undaunted happiness before the pain
Then what I held so precious becomes and inferno
Burning out of control
Taking compassion, affection, friendship, more
And twisting it
Turning it deep and dangerous
Bright colors lick at my skin
Scalding first
Then scorching
Devouring my flesh
Scoring to the bone
And then
Nothing
What I am is gone,
Disintegrated by the intensity before me
Around me
Without me to feed it the heat wanes
Dies away
After the last flame is gone
I remain as ashes
Paralyzed and unfeeling
Distanced from the world around me
Yet still I walk
Still I talk and listen, work and bleed
But never cry
Never morn what was lost
Time passes and stands till
Weather changes, coursing through me
New eyes
And I cry, I morn and live again
Rising from the ashes of love past
Stronger, safer, wiser
I have felt the heat and the pain
Experienced the bliss and the loss
Now I know its worth
For just a moment of what I have know
It is worth a million deaths to find again
New eyes
Brown with golden specs
Beckoning, calling
And I fly
Soaring into the heavens and back again
I may land or I may not
But the chance is worth a million deaths

Unndunn · 12-11-2009, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blushingfemme

I journal and write decent poetry only when unhappy...I have been unable to write anything of importance in quite a while. The writing pulls me deeper into myself, and makes things so much worse! I do a lot of self checking now when I feel the urge to write.

I write song lyrics when I'm depressed. I can't get into picking up my guitar and figuring out the chord progressions, or even just wanting to strum a bit, but I can write some amazing lyrics. I just can't do much else.

12-12-2009, 12:57 PM	#8
Darth Denkay Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I'm good with whatever Relationship Status: in love and loved Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Tennessee (Memphis, from Chattanooga) Posts: 315 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 456 Thanked 463 Times in 150 Posts Rep Power: 891935	Hey all! I feel as though I've been MIA for quite some time now - in reality I think it's been about 4 days. Unfortunately my online time is sometimes really limited. There have been so many posts that I was going to respond to, but my post would get completely out of control. For the moment, let me just say how nice it is to have a place to share our stuff. I really admire everyone for being willing to put yourselves out there. I think we've created a really great space here, and I hope my involvement can be more regular. I am happy to say that right now I'm not really "feeling" my depression, seem to have things under control. This is really cool, especially for the holiday season, but I try to avoid all the hoopla and keep my holiday simple. Actually, in the past things have gotten difficult for me after the holidays - January can be tough, which sucks cause my birthday is in January. But so far so good. Recently we have touched on a couple interesting topics. I do utilize music, more for anxiety than depression but it certain can be helpful for both. My music of choice is classical, jazz, big band. For the most part any music with words doesn't work - I think the words distract me and keep me from feeling the power of the music itself. There is one exception to this - I can listen to broadway and it work. Don't know why but apparently those lyrics don't distract me the way others do. As far as journaling/writing, that's not something that helpful for me. Other types of art therapy haven't proven helpful for me either. I think maybe what I need is to just relax and let the music carry me; anything that requires me to create doesn't work. Hoping everyone is taking care of you as best you can, and remember, we're all in this silly world together. __________________ Darth

12-11-2009, 11:27 AM	#1
MsTinkerbelly Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ... Preferred Pronoun?: ... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ... Posts: 6,573 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,737 Thanked 22,907 Times in 5,017 Posts Rep Power: 0	Music can calm me down faster than anything else...especially Christmas songs. They say that Christmas music (especially up tempo) releases lots of good endorphins into the system. I journal and write decent poetry only when unhappy...I have been unable to write anything of importance in quite a while. The writing pulls me deeper into myself, and makes things so much worse! I do a lot of self checking now when I feel the urge to write.

12-12-2009, 12:22 AM	#5
NotAnAverageGuy Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Trans Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 1,723 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 109 Thanked 282 Times in 178 Posts Rep Power: 0	Wow, shocked to see that some people only write when unhappy. I journal happy or sad, I guess once something sticks it sticks.