Mental Illness

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by Blushingfemme

Thank you very much. I worked with people with Mental Health issues for 16years, and I knew deep inside something was wrong; the inability to form lasting relationships was very troubling for me.

BPD is a really strange disease, in that you blame EVERYONE else for your problems and issues, and it all seems quite rational.

Yes, my ex-wife has it and has no clue. She is verbally and emotionally abusive on top of that, which makes her impossible to deal with rationally. I have had to distance myself from her, which is sad because she has a side that is wonderful. That is the side I fell in love with, but eventually I couldn't deal with her blaming me for everything when she said things that were cruel to me. I understand that she is ill. I think if she realized what was going on and got help she could be a wonderful person to be around. But my leaving her wasn't a wake-up call, and her losing her daughter wasn't either. I don't think she will ever understand what is really going on and that is sad.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Today I went and saw my father in the hospital. I had to wear and gown, gloves, mask, and hat. He is being quaranteened because of having a gastric bacteria infection from diabetes on top of pnen. and bronc. He is really sick, and has been in the hospital for over a week from what I have learned today. He isn't being released any time soon.

Today, after I went in, I felt like I should just take all my clothes off and shower. It was horrible. Then there were cracks in the sidewalk going in and out of the hospital. And to top it off, the carpeting was in a pattern. I had to take my meds 3x's to just function. It was just that overwhelming. My anxiety level on a scale of 1 to 10 was well over 10.

No, I am not a drug addict as someone once said about me. And yes, I was in touch with my doctor about this situation. I think when someone is so compulsive as I am (and trust me I am very compulsive), I make sure that I take care of myself. It would be wrong not too. My thinking is this, it would be the same as having a seizure (grand mal) one day, and the very next day going for a long drive on a busy expressway.

Anyway, I just wanted to share. Nobody is an island. We are all in this together.

Namaste,
Andrew

[NotAnAverageGuy]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

Yes, my ex-wife has it and has no clue. She is verbally and emotionally abusive on top of that, which makes her impossible to deal with rationally. I have had to distance myself from her, which is sad because she has a side that is wonderful. That is the side I fell in love with, but eventually I couldn't deal with her blaming me for everything when she said things that were cruel to me. I understand that she is ill. I think if she realized what was going on and got help she could be a wonderful person to be around. But my leaving her wasn't a wake-up call, and her losing her daughter wasn't either. I don't think she will ever understand what is really going on and that is sad.

AZ, one of my ex's was the same as your ex-wife, abusive in all forms, etc.

I am glad we both got out and are taking care of ourselves.

[MsTinkerbelly]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

Yes, my ex-wife has it and has no clue. She is verbally and emotionally abusive on top of that, which makes her impossible to deal with rationally. I have had to distance myself from her, which is sad because she has a side that is wonderful. That is the side I fell in love with, but eventually I couldn't deal with her blaming me for everything when she said things that were cruel to me. I understand that she is ill. I think if she realized what was going on and got help she could be a wonderful person to be around. But my leaving her wasn't a wake-up call, and her losing her daughter wasn't either. I don't think she will ever understand what is really going on and that is sad.

From what I have read, there are MANY different types of BPD. Mine manifests in feeling like everyone is out to "get"me, and that nothing I do is right. I am not verbally or physically abusive, I just shutdown completely and detach from life, which my Kasey HATES. I am also very afraid that those I love will leave me or die, so I will leave first or distance myself from them emotionally.

From what I have read I am one of the "lucky" ones who can actually stop themselves in the middle of an episode and evaluate whether or not I am appropriately angry. It is so darn annoying when I realize I am mad for no reason, or that I have blown something way out of proportion. If I could just do that BEFORE I get crazy I would feel so much better.

But I guess if that were the case, I wouldn't have BPD.