Married/Partnered Planeteers - Combining Your Life

[Random]

I lucked out big time..

Mitmo is so very laid back, a minimalist and very much a blank canvase when it comes to decorating... "I like this one book case, and my books, I don't care if you get rid of everything else~"

I am not..

I'm reminded of Maureen OHara in The Quiet Man...*I need my things about me...*

While I did cull an amazing amount before I moved into her two bedroom apt, I still came with an amazing amount of junk..

I come with things like steamer trunks, camel back trunks, a hoosier, an over stuffed flowered chair in a half, computer tables, crafting tables, drafting tables.. odd sized tables (I like tables) turkish rug, mirrors, crocks, old jugs, old bottles, endless chotchi that caught my eye, and enough crafting supplies to set up a small craft store...

Mitmo favors stream line shapes/modern... I like french provential...
She likes wood, I like wood painted white with flowers all over it...
I like fussy with pillows and tassles.. She likes plain and keeps stacking the pillows on the back of the sofa.. (no stacking... no stacking... cascade!!!)

So we compromise...

I'm introducing her to the joys of junking and of vintage furniture... We are going more twards mission or shaker than fp.... I am not looking at any sofas covered in tea roses..

We are going more twards jewel tones than earth tones..

I'm not over cluttering the walls with tiny pictures of random stuff, but instead we are moving twards paintings and art that speaks to both of us.. Local artists or friends or.. or... me.. (quiver)

She trust me to make a home that is comfortable and attractive to both of us...

Lucky me...

[NJFemmie]

I am more of the minimalist and Mare is a bit more of the pack rat. Come to think of it - that did take a bit getting used to, because I am more likely to throw things out (or give them away) if I haven't used them in a while. But on the other hand -- if there is something I need - Mare more than likely owns it, lol. I'm more laid back and keep my OCD tendencies in check, and it hasn't created any problems. When I do get frustrated and can't find something - my OCD kicks in and I'll just reorganize and She doesn't mind that at all.

[Kaison]

This is a really interesting thread as I'm not sure how me and the missus are going to ever live together.

I'm a minimalist and like everything really tidy and in order, she is a hoarder and messy and disorganised.

Any advice?

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Kaison

This is a really interesting thread as I'm not sure how me and the missus are going to ever live together.

I'm a minimalist and like everything really tidy and in order, she is a hoarder and messy and disorganised.

Any advice?

Remain in separate houses?

<--- A Master at separate houses living

[Queerasfck]

Nesting is fun but I'd be thrown out if I did this to our bedroom. I've still managed to "decorate" here and there with my Steeler paraphernalia.

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by John Shaft

Nesting is fun but I'd be thrown out if I did this to our bedroom. I've still managed to "decorate" here and there with my Steeler paraphernalia.

Wife said " I'd be living alone" I tend to believe her...

[Tawse]

When we first moved in to an apartment together 12 years ago, my general thought was "i don't care" as far as decorating around the house. I know I have no skill what so ever and I also knew from visiting her place, that she had done with her place what I probably would have done with mine - if I'd had the know how. With some slight exceptions.

Then we moved into our house and we had to pick colours to paint the walls. Gillian is very neutral minded where as apparently I like things a little bolder. Mind you I don't like neon colours but I grew up in apartments and surrounded by white walls.. I wanted some colour!

So we talked and negotiated and our house has some good colour to it that we both like - probably even more than we thought we would.

We are also similar in that we both have a bit of a goth streak in us. Not so much in dress - but definitely in music and art / collectibles areas. So we have some Living Dead Dolls that we've collected through out the years as well as some Teddy Scares and other items. For awhile there we were at a loss on how to display them in a setting that made sense.

Then we painted one of our spare bedrooms a plum/deep purple colour - slapped leather curtains on the windows - and it became our goth room (and now serves as our study where we have the computers set up).


As far as other areas of our life - it's been no problem merging as we pretty much agreed about finances, autonomy, roles etc before moving in together...

[DamonK]

I moved in with MBE. I have stuff, but not really a TON of stuff.

Our styles are similar. Due to not having enough space, stuff is kinda everywhere. We are slowly working on that.

We have two spare rooms. One will serve as a playroom/office/guest room. The other will be the scrapbooking room. MBE likes to scrapbook. So, that room will have that, and I will organize my art supplies somewhere. It's possible I have a couple plastic 5 drawer tubs, or something like that in the living room to put my projects in. I don't like having them EVERYWHERE, but I also don't like having to go hunt for them.

When we add to our family, it's likely that the scrapbooking stuff will move to our bedroom. I'm hoping to put in cabinets with doors for storage. Lots of them.

We are just recently beginning to seriously talk about how to renovate the house. Within the next year or so, we want to move, but we also know work needs to be done before we can consider selling the house.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Kaison

This is a really interesting thread as I'm not sure how me and the missus are going to ever live together.

I'm a minimalist and like everything really tidy and in order, she is a hoarder and messy and disorganised.

Any advice?

Originally Posted by June

Lots of multi-purpose furniture. Buffets, dressers, bookshelves, china cabinets.

June has good ideas here. Also, if space allows, give her one room to put whatever she wants in it however she wants it. Mesh the rest of your stuff (kitchen utensils, books, clothes in the closets, etc) however you see fit, but give her that space.

And. Don't. Go. In. There.

It would drive you bonkers. BUT if you've meshed your stuff and she has a room of all her stuff and she still has more stuff, that's the line. She needs to pick and choose and get rid of whatever won't fit.

This is coming from someone who keeps a LOT of stuff, btw. Sometimes you just have to let go.

[Medusa]

Our life together looks very different today than it did 5 years ago.

5 years ago, Jack and I were just moving in together and each of us had a lot of "stuff". I had tons of books and clothes, random kitchenware, and lots of random decorative stuff. She had lots of "mantiques" and odd pieces of furniture (some of it hideous, some of it awesome).

As we moved in and started unpacking the crates together, it became clear to both of us that we had similar tastes but that we had way too much of everything. I think for the first year, we purged a little but mostly kept 80% of the stuff we had each brought with us.

Now, I look up and see a house that is filled with things that we have picked out together. Really the only pieces of furniture that we have in this entire house that we have not acquired together are the couch and loveseat and a vintage chaise from the 60s. Every single other piece of furniture in this house was purchased or found by both of us, from the mattresses on the beds to the barstools. I kinda love that. It looks like "us" in here and not "Jackhammer over there and Medusa over here".

We still have lots of decorative things that we each brought in to the relationship and have displayed our favorite pieces in the library. Slowly over the years we have cleared out the things that we only kinda loved in favor of keeping the things we really loved. It works for us!

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Random

I lucked out big time..

Mitmo is so very laid back, a minimalist and very much a blank canvase when it comes to decorating... "I like this one book case, and my books, I don't care if you get rid of everything else~"

I am not..

I'm reminded of Maureen OHara in The Quiet Man...*I need my things about me...*

While I did cull an amazing amount before I moved into her two bedroom apt, I still came with an amazing amount of junk..

I come with things like steamer trunks, camel back trunks, a hoosier, an over stuffed flowered chair in a half, computer tables, crafting tables, drafting tables.. odd sized tables (I like tables) turkish rug, mirrors, crocks, old jugs, old bottles, endless chotchi that caught my eye, and enough crafting supplies to set up a small craft store...

Mitmo favors stream line shapes/modern... I like french provential...
She likes wood, I like wood painted white with flowers all over it...
I like fussy with pillows and tassles.. She likes plain and keeps stacking the pillows on the back of the sofa.. (no stacking... no stacking... cascade!!!)

So we compromise...

I'm introducing her to the joys of junking and of vintage furniture... We are going more twards mission or shaker than fp.... I am not looking at any sofas covered in tea roses..

We are going more twards jewel tones than earth tones..

I'm not over cluttering the walls with tiny pictures of random stuff, but instead we are moving twards paintings and art that speaks to both of us.. Local artists or friends or.. or... me.. (quiver)

She trust me to make a home that is comfortable and attractive to both of us...

Lucky me...

I love Mission style furniture! It's the best of both worlds...sleek and impressive and stylish all wrapped up in one tidy bundle.

Have more faith in yourself. Your work is lovely.