Femme Led Relationships and Trans/Butch/Femme Bottoms

[weatherboi]

hey Martina!!!

i have become very fond of styling Ms's hair for Her. She has been very patient while i have learned to use the Chi. i have often thought about teaching myself how to give Her a pedicure. when She allows me to rub Her feet i use this



i also wanted to add that i have never in my life styled hair or anything in the beauty/style related in service before...i was really nervous using that Chi...it is hot!!! burning Her does not feel good and makes me want to crawl in a hole when i have. my point is She is super forgiving and patient and i am lucky to have a Ms that allows me the space to gain value in giving up something. it makes me trust in her direction of Our/our relationship so my acts come to Her more willingly. hope that makes sense.

[Martina]

Originally Posted by weatherboi

hey Martina!!!

i have become very fond of styling Ms's hair for Her. She has been very patient while i have learned to use the Chi. i have often thought about teaching myself how to give Her a pedicure. when She allows me to rub Her feet i use this



i also wanted to add that i have never in my life styled hair or anything in the beauty/style related in service before...i was really nervous using that Chi...it is hot!!! burning Her does not feel good and makes me want to crawl in a hole when i have. my point is She is super forgiving and patient and i am lucky to have a Ms that allows me the space to gain value in giving up something. it makes me trust in her direction of Our/our relationship so my acts come to Her more willingly. hope that makes sense.

Thank You. i will mention the product to Her. She is a lover of essential oils, and we use those a lot, depending on the mood. There is also a balm, whose name i have forgotten. i will let You know.

There is a lot to be said for a bare handed rub though, i think. i love that transition from a tight foot to something soft, warm and relaxed.

That's awesome about learning how to do hair. That's a valuable skill! Yes, my Ma'am is patient too. She has to be -- to be my Dominant. i want to learn more about massage, but the classes are so expensive.

i love caring for and worshipping Her feet. Something extra special in that with a Femme Dominant.

A former Femme Dominant had me shave her pussy. Now THAT was scary the first couple of times. But fun!

Performing body service for a Femme IS intoxicating.

[Mitmo01]

This is def our house and our dynamic....wanted to bump this up a while ago....I know that this type of dynamic is unusual in that it is not in the majority but i suspect its more common then we know....

my Ms and I are going to deeper levels in exploring our boundaries and our wiring so to speak and it feels very liberating for me....

[Angelika]

No posts here since FEB 2011? Either we do not have many in this type of relationship on BFP, or, they would rather have their nails pulled out than admit it openly *grins*. Be that as it may, I myself have been absent from BFP for a long while, and on that note, returning, I shall post here for my first 'return' post.

I agree with Isadora ... it has been around for ages. Not all 'Femme led' dynamics are D/s or BDSM, and of course, at the same time, not all 'Femme led' dynamics that hold components of D/s or BDSM, are 'Femme led' outside of such parameters. That is the beauty of all relationships, the uniqueness. In my case, all components are usually present, but much also depends on my willingness to engage.

I have no personal issues frolicking within the fold of 'vanilla' as da Boss where no D/s or BDSM takes place, nor do I go screaming into the night in frustration when I cannot beat some flesh or have my toes sucked in the shadowy flickers of candlelight. I do have issues if I am not da Boss though *laughs*

I love being the Head of the Household (for the lack of a better term), may it be within, or outside the lines of D/s (or BDSM). It carries with it the responsibilities, of course, but more so than anything, its openly empowering on so many levels.

Ah yes, dressed in pantyhose, a dark suit where the skirt stops just above the knees, pencil kind, the blouse almost sheer, hinting, but not showing; stilettos that make you afraid you will step on your boobage at age 60 if you do not wear a bra now; hair piled up, loosely cascading, inviting yet with a 'hands off' sign invisibly attached; small half mooned glasses perched at the end of the nose, looking over them at some unsuspecting Butch ... and not saying a word. Perhaps leaning against the doorway of a car repair shop, or standing casually in a boardroom setting, or waking up to sunlight streaming through my window and the smell of coffee assaulting my nostrils ... waiting, and knowing.

Oh the endless possibilities in a Femme led world!!!!

Angelika

[Sachita]

I'm reading and watching. I'm in this type of relationship right now. We always had this type of dynamic even as friends. There is no struggle and it's very peaceful having the parameters defined. My BDSM days are over... not saying I'm not kinky, just not into the lifestyle or serious SM play but enjoy a natural femdom dynamic. I honestly think it's part of who I am. It's both sexual and spiritual for me.

I am a natural born alpha femme and although I can exist in an intelligent BF relationship, I flourish when I lead and the other appreciates that.

More later

[Sachita]

also Wanton boi says that I have a lot of masculine energy rolled into my femme persona. Even at my most passive this is present.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Sachita

also Wanton boi says that I have a lot of masculine energy rolled into my femme persona. Even at my most passive this is present.

I have to ask, seeing as how this discussion has flowed recently and folks are opening up a bit more, would this be the opposite of what the thread celebrates?

I'm sorry if I'm not wording things well. I can feel the question in my head but it's just not coming to fruition the way I'd like.

I have no issues with masculine energy. Celebrate it, even. But isn't the point of this thread....or at least one of them....to concentrate on the feminine energy in the relationship? Can't feminine energy be aggressive and/or strong without being masculine? If not, then we're right back at the start, saying masculine/male is the only/right way and that feminine/female/femme is secondary.

Am I making sense?

Anyone?

Bueller?

Bueller?

[Gentle Tiger]

Originally Posted by Gemme

I have to ask, seeing as how this discussion has flowed recently and folks are opening up a bit more, would this be the opposite of what the thread celebrates?

I'm sorry if I'm not wording things well. I can feel the question in my head but it's just not coming to fruition the way I'd like.

I have no issues with masculine energy. Celebrate it, even. But isn't the point of this thread....or at least one of them....to concentrate on the feminine energy in the relationship? Can't feminine energy be aggressive and/or strong without being masculine? If not, then we're right back at the start, saying masculine/male is the only/right way and that feminine/female/femme is secondary.

Am I making sense?

Anyone?

Bueller?

Bueller?

Originally Posted by June

Gemme -- I think that when we use "Masculine" energy, which has been used to describe me before, and I have also used it, it's because we don't have the language for describing "Dominant Femme" that fully spectrumizes (tm) what we are.

I have been thinking about that a lot for the past couple of years, actually. It's not Masculine if we're Femmes. It's not necessarily (but can be) Top energy. It's unique and powerful and full of woooooooo.

Gemme, your question makes a lot of sense. And this has been one of my questions. Perhaps I am once again over simplifying things. But why does there have to be additional language? You're Femme. You prefer to be in charge. Therefore, you're a femme who requires being in charge. If you're a femme and you're dominant then you're a dominant femme. And if you're a femme and a natural born leader then you're a femme natural born leader. No additional language needed. It has nothing to do with being masculine. It's still all about being femme.

Now I do recognize that for some to say that they have masculine energy or their male side comes out is an accurate statement. Of course it is! They would know. But that strikes me as separate from the fact that they are in charge or the boss or whatever descriptor is used when talking about Femme led relationships. Help me understand.

It seems that the masculine energy/male side is separate just like BDSM, D/s, M/s, etc. is separate from this conversation. I get that we (human beings) have both male and female within us. But that isn't what makes you the boss right? I know that people describe those characteristics as male when seen but is that really an accurate classification?

Taking a seat to listen and learn. Thanks for letting me be a participant.

[JustJo]

Originally Posted by June

Gemme -- I think that when we use "Masculine" energy, which has been used to describe me before, and I have also used it, it's because we don't have the language for describing "Dominant Femme" that fully spectrumizes (tm) what we are.

I have been thinking about that a lot for the past couple of years, actually. It's not Masculine if we're Femmes. It's not necessarily (but can be) Top energy. It's unique and powerful and full of woooooooo.

I'm finding this thread interesting reading and will post more fully when I've gotten my words in order...but...for now, what June said struck me.

There is nothing whatsoever masculine or male about me. When it comes to the bedroom, there is nothing of a Top about me either.

However, I embrace what I call my "pushy broad".

I am all femme, all female, and all feminine....and I am strong, stubborn, willful, and in charge. I am a planner and a problem solver, as well as creative and intelligent. For a long time, I thought I had to hide those things...and I did. At almost 50 and with a long history of deferring to others who generally fucked it up and I ended up fixing it....I don't anymore.

There's a reason I'm a project manager professionally. I'm damn good at it. I organize people, keep them on track, keep them moving, prod them in the ass when they need it (nicely of course ), hold them back when they need that, squelch the ones that need to shut up, encourage the ones that need to speak, and hold their feet to the fire for those that need that, too.

So....think me arrogant if you like...but yes, I generally do have the answer or the vision of what we need to do and how we should get there.

Do I think I'm better or more enlightened than others? No. I am fully aware that other people have skills, knowledge and talents that I don't. And I'm happy to listen, absorb and applaud those things. Professionally, I depend on people having knowledge or skills that I don't....I need them, and I use them, to get the job done.

Personally, it's not that different. I actively encourage the people around me to do their best, develop their gifts, express what they want so we can experience or accomplish that. What I won't do is be a passive partner, sit on my hands, shut my mouth and go along.

For a long time, I felt that the problem I had in relationships is that I needed to find someone stronger than me to be the lead. Now? Not so much.

I'll come back later, after coffee, when I'm more awake.