Friends of Bill W.

[oksoftbutch]

Thank you LR for the nice welcome.... Yes I did sober up in Oklahoma...I spent most of my life here

[LeftWriteFemme]

February 7

From Pen to Progress



“Leave those gaters in the paddock awhile longer,” said my sponsor.
I gave a little better than a cursory glance at the hulking forms though I did stay strictly on my side of the fence and grasped tighter the hand of my custodian. The once over worked fine as my first pass through the creatures of the swamp, I didn’t fully grasp what lay beyond the petting zoo, but given my newness this wasn’t entirely a bad thing.
On second run I was in a boat with a glass bottom and a guide, I had vision, clarity. Third time through was a charm, swim fins and a rope tied about my waist, it was all too real. I floundered and had to be hauled bodily by my home group, my sponsor stood anchor.
I have numbered and charted these murky waters now and I see the lure they have for my ailing, twisted mind; the intensity of the brutes awash and the dark calling to dark make that sick sense that only an alcoholic can parse. I have to take to those by ways with supplies and reinforcements. Never swim alone!





Hand in hand is the best way to get anywhere



*

CONSERVATION OF LOVE

Love does not diminish
It recycles like the rain
Ever in transition and transmission

Love is not salvation or redemption
Nor do I believe it to be the currency of Godliness.
Love is an element like cobalt or gold
It has weight and substance.

Love is the coinage of responsibility
Not a door out of consequences.
Love, true love, inspires right action
Never cowardice or disrespect.

In this strange amelioration
Standing in the wings of realism
Love is love no longer

Love is the standard I have to bear
Not the canopy I stand beneath
In the frozen center.

Love cannot endure the pressure of misinformation
And melts with friction,
Floods with irresponsibility.

Love, like money, admiration and sex, has its place
And must not have expectation of being more than it is,
With that said,
Love is peerless, to be treasured, protected and shared

[rlin]

hey yall...

question for anyone whos stopped opiates...or knows someone who has...

how the hell long does this weak washed out no energy feeling last??? anyone know??? i am about over it... i got so much energy in my head and feel like an old fukr in my body...

its been a couple of weeks already... gonna take a month??? two???

sigh...

[LeftWriteFemme]

Hey, rlin,
Congratulations on getting off the opiates, that huge!!!
I have a sponsee who has been going through this and her experience was that the feeling lasted about three months and then would return for a day or two every three months or so. Hang in there, I swear it gets better!

Sherrie

Originally Posted by rlin

hey yall...

question for anyone whos stopped opiates...or knows someone who has...

how the hell long does this weak washed out no energy feeling last??? anyone know??? i am about over it... i got so much energy in my head and feel like an old fukr in my body...

its been a couple of weeks already... gonna take a month??? two???

sigh...

[rlin]

Originally Posted by LeftWriteFemme

Hey, rlin,
Congratulations on getting off the opiates, that huge!!!
I have a sponsee who has been going through this and her experience was that the feeling lasted about three months and then would return for a day or two every three months or so. Hang in there, I swear it gets better!

Sherrie

thanks sherrie!!! soooooooo...
about 7-8 weeks ago i also stopped drinking... smoking pot... and smoking cigarettes...
can you tell me how long til i dont want a flippin cigarette????
it was/is harder than any of the rest for me!!!
i really dont know if i can keep that one going sometimes... i can think of the opiates as a given... the smokes are kicking my sorry ass tho!

[LeftWriteFemme]

February 8


Simultaneous Acceptance



Being typical is a difficult thing to live with, but I am typical. Being extraordinary is a challenging thing to live up to, but this is also mine to bear, you see I am a typical alcoholic after all. Walking with one foot in each camp is not enough. I must simultaneously accept both my common commonality and my lottery winner uniqueness if I am to travel hand in hand with my Higher Power. If I don’t integrate this double reality, allow it to imprint my thoughts the way it is tattooed in my DNA I can not possibly take the biggest step of all and drop my judgment of these things so that humility can dwell within. You see there is not enough room in the vortex of my humanness to accommodate the jags of verdict and the desire for the sublime smoothness of humility. I can’t chase humility I have had to face that, but I can remove the impediments to its residence.



Have some compassion for your wounds


*

READY

Ready or not here it comes.
Life on terms of its own.
Bracing for the onslaught of gravity
I grip too well the implements of past days.

Fearing the pressure, I lay in my shallow grave,
The ground having been scooped out by my own hand.
Withering from expectation, my blood runs slow and dark,
Reducing to coagulated futility, loosing my life in anticipation of death.

Attempts at being less, as means of protection,
Less is not a solution.
Fading does not make life more livable
It makes me unavailable.

Readiness is my responsibility, it is momentary, momentary is sufficient.
Sobriety is nothing more than lining myself up with the needs of this instant
I need go not further,
Whole solutions are not my department.
Showing up,
dressed and washed,
ball and bat in hand if possible,
Just making it to the lineup is my full-time job.
Even if I never swing
It is better than being buried on the field

[LeftWriteFemme]

February 9



Hospitality


What unites us, heals us, serves us, is the hospitality of the program. Fellowship encircles us and draws us close, in a word unites us, hospitality is our core. Hospital is the root of hospitality and recovery is the route to health, hospitality is the skeleton of recovery. Hospitable aid, the true gift of self is hospitality; hospitality the master of A.A.




Observe inaction and discover its root



*

FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is not something to force on people
like unwanted coffee.
It is only appropriate to forgive people who ask
for forgiveness
And show with their behavior that they want it.

It is never appropriate to shove forgiveness on people
who haven't asked
And show no signs of wanting it
or demonstrate just the opposite.

It's been said, forgiving was to help you feel better.
It doesn't.
Letting go of resentments makes you feel better.
Making amends to the people you've hurt,
Cleaning up your side of the street makes you feel better.

Keeping an open mind and heart will make you ready
for the possibility of someone coming to make amends.
Forgiveness is a two way street.
Anything you have to throw over someone like a net
is usually a mistake.

[oksoftbutch]

Hi there RLN....I saw where you are quiting smoking cigs along with everything else.....I had to be 3 yrs sober before I could even consider doing away with the cigs.....I can say they were much harder to give up than the drink....but if you must do that now I can tell you I spent 5 days of pure hell withdrawals.....then it got better with occasional and milder desires as time went on....the thing that really helped me stay off them was the doctor who told me a year later I possibly had first stages of emphysema....you might try to find someone who has recently quit and use each other like you do with the drink and drug recovery.... Good luck to you....

Originally Posted by rlin

thanks sherrie!!! soooooooo...
about 7-8 weeks ago i also stopped drinking... smoking pot... and smoking cigarettes...
can you tell me how long til i dont want a flippin cigarette????
it was/is harder than any of the rest for me!!!
i really dont know if i can keep that one going sometimes... i can think of the opiates as a given... the smokes are kicking my sorry ass tho!

[LeftWriteFemme]

February 10


Recognition

All I have are these two hands; I can not lift the world

All I have are these two legs; I can not flee the hoards

All I have is this one heart though need and want prevail

All that’s left is this one mind to try to tell this tale.

Everything in this bright orb is there for me to see

Everything laid out before me all that I can be

Everything that I perceive as wrong and know it in my heart

Everything I think to touch and change believing it’s my art

Once I take the giant reins acceptance escapes the scene

Once the fates are in my grasp chaos is the theme

Once the sight of my right place is lost from in my mind

Once I try to fill the great big shoes is the day that I go blind.



Prune expectation with open-mindedness




*

DON'T BE A FRAUD

Fake it till you make it is like saying,
Keep drinking till you get sober, complains my sponsor.
But what about the things I can't do yet?
You work on them, that's all, you work.

You adjust your attitude.
Practice the steps.
Carry your behind to meetings,
And talk to me and others in your network.

Yeah, that sounds like a breeze.
It's easier than staying sober while lying.
In this program we try to stay honest
And in the moment.

Pretending to feel differently than you do
Defeats your ability to be present
And makes it hard for people to trust you.
But it's so awkward, I grumble.

Which is why we of the alcoholic persuasion,
Try to find short cuts but don't get sucked into them.
Tell the truth and do the hard work of sobriety and
Stay away from people who try to sell you a Softer Way.