Neurodiversity

[violaine]

page 69, Effort & Attention-

keith: "i like the physical contact, not in a definable sense. i just enjoy it. also, what touching offers is the chance to be close without needing to articulate it. surely not everything has to be spoken about and analysed to death. just a held hand or a spoon in the night says a lot..."


http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/book/9781843105404

[Bit]

Gryph and I ordered The Highly Sensitive Person and Making Work Work for the Highly Sensitive Person (two different authors). I found them at Borders online--received an unexpected gift certificate at just the right time--and they just arrived.

These self tests are beginning to scare me; I just scored 30 out of 31 on the one in the beginning of Making Work Work... then I noticed it's one of those where you rate each question either zero, 5 or 10 points. Going that way, I scored 300 out of 310. The only question I didn't answer "high" for was the one about other people calling me "intense" but hey... if by every other measure I'm so high on the scale, why aren't people calling me intense? *wry look*

So I'm thinking that a HSP could be someone with Aspergers as well, but if the two coincide, it must make things so very difficult!

Ursy and Belle talked about the effort of fitting in, of not making the people around them uncomfortable. This is something that I struggle with also. Sometimes I wonder just how I made it this far; but then the next logical question, "and what would happen if I stopped trying so hard anyway?" reminds me that I learned the hard way that I have to fit in or people get pretty angry with me, and then they go away. Ooops. Not what I want at all.... but yes, sometimes I do wonder why all the effort has to be mine, and why other people can't make allowances for me sometimes.

One of the things I adore about Gryph is that he has never ever once chastised me for being "too sensitive" nor ever once said those hated words, "grow a thicker skin." Too much information comes in, yes, and it does sometimes cause emotional overloads or a need to hide from everyone and everything--but he cherishes me for the sensitivity anyway. We each try to give the other the space we need to cope with the world.

Anyhow, thank you Ami for telling us about the book. I think it'll help a lot, and I'm glad to understand why we all have so much in common.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I'm a Aspi, and I feel like a misfit.

[violaine]

do any of you get to spend time around other aspies? i know it's really a good time to me- just letting go of things-

hugs to you, andrew

[christie]

Originally Posted by violaine

do any of you get to spend time around other aspies? i know it's really a good time to me- just letting go of things-

hugs to you, andrew

My son attends a special needs HS in Nashville. I can say that its been really important for his social development to be around "peers" as opposed to being in mainstream where he felt so very out of place.

I also think that its been good for him to see that different truly is ok. That even differently abled doesnt have the same definition for everyone.

We are so very fortunate that he is such a great young man. I remember what I was like at 16 - and trust me, if the worst thing he has going is that he doesn't like to take a shower, well, I will take stanky over the other things anyday! LOL

[Ursy]

Originally Posted by christie0918

We are so very fortunate that he is such a great young man. I remember what I was like at 16 - and trust me, if the worst thing he has going is that he doesn't like to take a shower, well, I will take stanky over the other things anyday! LOL

Lol - I could say the same thing about my girl (she turns 15 on Monday).

She is truly a beautiful little soul, but also one hell of a grot!

She is getting better at taking showers, even if she doesn't care for them. It's getting her to wash her hair that's the problem. Once she gets in there, her mind wanders, she goes on autopilot, and before you know it she's finished her shower and has forgotten to wash her hair AGAIN!

It doesn't seem to bother her that it's like a dirty mop on her head... now that would just drive me crazy...

[christie]

Originally Posted by urs

Lol - I could say the same thing about my girl (she turns 15 on Monday).

She is truly a beautiful little soul, but also one hell of a grot!

She is getting better at taking showers, even if she doesn't care for them. It's getting her to wash her hair that's the problem. Once she gets in there, her mind wanders, she goes on autopilot, and before you know it she's finished her shower and has forgotten to wash her hair AGAIN!

It doesn't seem to bother her that it's like a dirty mop on her head... now that would just drive me crazy...

Its just getting Bratboy IN the shower... once he's in there, its FOREVER before he comes out.

I am really glad that he has learned moderation with the "Axe" body spray.

When he was about 8, his stepfather gave him part of a Halston z14 cologne gift set. Stepdad drove him to school every morning and I will never forget seeing Mel (stepdad) arriving back home, all four windows down and his head stuck out the window much like a dog riding in the car. It was February and much too cold to have windows down.

Mel came into the house, eyes red and watery. I asked if he was ok. He looked at me and said, "We HAVE to teach that boy some moderation... I feel like I have been maced!"

The moderation lessons took a while, but at least he wasn't stanky!

[Ursy]

Originally Posted by violaine

do any of you get to spend time around other aspies? i know it's really a good time to me- just letting go of things-

I don't, but my daughter Bek has found her twin - who is also an aspie, and loves - ok, is obsessed with - pretty much all the same things that Bek is - Kingdom Hearts, anime, drawing, etc... and even likes the same kinds of foods.

In fact, they are so similar that it's really, really spooky (like, really really really). For example, Bek chose Luna for her facebook name because she didn't want to use her real name. In fact, she would probably like it if this was her real name. Bek's twin changed her name to Luna some time ago (long before meeting Bek).

Anyway, it's been really nice for her to have a friendship like that. Bek's twin "gets" her in a way that nobody else ever has. They are incredibly lucky to have found each other.