7 Rules for Building Safer/Saner Online Communities

princessbelle · 04-18-2011, 09:08 PM

Geeze maybe we need a thread where people will post that have NOT sent out money. Guilty of more than once which makes me sorta not so brilliant.

Shyly raises hand and am glad i'm not alone. Or i guess maybe i wish i was alone.

I like Gemme's response....and i reiterate...currently...unsuckered.

DapperButch · 04-18-2011, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by princessbelle

Geeze maybe we need a thread where people will post that have NOT sent out money. Guilty of more than once which makes me sorta not so brilliant.

Shyly raises hand and am glad i'm not alone. Or i guess maybe i wish i was alone.

I like Gemme's response....and i reiterate...currently...unsuckered.

Maybe we should be called "the site of ex-suckers!"

scootebaby · 04-18-2011, 10:01 PM

i can honestly say i have never sent money to anyone,BUT i have been suckered into stories...enough times that now i question almost everything and everybody...and of course i try to warn Jo about things...altho she did get fooled(guess i did as well since i was like "that is sad,and it would be very nice of you"

i have learned however if you wait long enough and pay attention ppl will always forget the lies they tell!....as NYC said if you have the slightest inkling sometihng is not quite right,dont ignore it!

Gemme · 04-18-2011, 10:17 PM

Jennifer and Dapper....a bit of a derail here, but....I borrowed money from a member on another site once and THEY disappeared before I could finish paying them back.

Okay, so I knew where they were going (a different continent), but they never sent me their new address to continue the payments.

Carry on......

MysticOceansFL · 04-18-2011, 10:18 PM

I Totally agree and I was almost con'd by a con artist from online <<<<< But I contacted the Sherriff Dept in my town and they delt with the two people!!! I was lucky.

Gayla · 04-18-2011, 10:56 PM

I have never sent money to anyone that I knew only online although I have come very, very, very close several times. I have also invested huge amounts of time and energy into relationships (of the friendship kind) with people who have turned out to be less than truthful. Oh, and I've fallen madly in love with two people who turned out to be completely batshit crazy.

I've been online for a really long time, since the days of local BB's and Usenet, and I can't count the number of really amazing people that I've met along the way. I also can't count the number of not so great people that I've met.

Probably the most important thing that I've learned through the years is to do as much as you can to verify that the person you are about to send money to, fly across the country to meet for the first time, give your home phone number or address or place of employment, etc. is who they say they are before you do any of those things. Yes, it can be uncomfortable to talk about. Yes, it can appear as "untrusting". Yes, it can be a mood killer. But the only time I've ever had someone balk was when they had something to hide.

BullDog · 04-18-2011, 11:12 PM

I am someone who wants to see the good in people. I don't want to be guarded and suspicious. I've met some great people from online, but all the lies and lies of omission are quite staggering. I trust very few people these days.

Daywalker · 04-18-2011, 11:27 PM

I used to watch an Ex of mine lie to folks online a lot.

Wasn't until after we split that I told her all that I knew.

A few years later, and I discovered she hadn't changed a bit.

Folks like that run their game too long, and have to move on to other
Communities. I feel safer in knowing many of you have a true heart of Gold.

AtLast · 04-19-2011, 03:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BullDog

I am someone who wants to see the good in people. I don't want to be guarded and suspicious. I've met some great people from online, but all the lies and lies of omission are quite staggering. I trust very few people these days.

I have met some great people as well. Unfortunately, others are quite unstable and lack boundaries. Yes, lies of omission are staggering! But, I certainly don't see this as specific to B-F sites. Although, I am much more guarded now with befriending people from the site after suffering a couple of traumatic events.

I applaud the admin for drawing attention to safety factors that we all need to pay attention to when relating via the net. Sad, but true.

04-18-2011, 09:08 PM	#1
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,497 Times in 5,198 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Geeze maybe we need a thread where people will post that have NOT sent out money. Guilty of more than once which makes me sorta not so brilliant. Shyly raises hand and am glad i'm not alone. Or i guess maybe i wish i was alone. I like Gemme's response....and i reiterate...currently...unsuckered. __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

04-18-2011, 10:17 PM	#4
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,882 Times in 25,665 Posts Rep Power: 21474889	Jennifer and Dapper....a bit of a derail here, but....I borrowed money from a member on another site once and THEY disappeared before I could finish paying them back. Okay, so I knew where they were going (a different continent), but they never sent me their new address to continue the payments. Carry on...... __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

04-18-2011, 10:18 PM	#5
MysticOceansFL Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, Preferred Pronoun?: People call me by my nic name. Relationship Status: Not Single, Not Desperate. Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Florida Posts: 3,833 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,645 Thanked 4,033 Times in 1,720 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I Totally agree and I was almost con'd by a con artist from online <<<<< But I contacted the Sherriff Dept in my town and they delt with the two people!!! I was lucky. __________________ Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation. It is said, " Some lives are linked across time..... Connected by an ancient calling that echoes through the ages "......

04-18-2011, 11:12 PM	#7
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,637 Times in 4,462 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	I am someone who wants to see the good in people. I don't want to be guarded and suspicious. I've met some great people from online, but all the lies and lies of omission are quite staggering. I trust very few people these days. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

04-18-2011, 11:27 PM	#8
Daywalker Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Hippy Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: * Posts: 3,750 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,499 Thanked 11,916 Times in 2,700 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I used to watch an Ex of mine lie to folks online a lot. Wasn't until after we split that I told her all that I knew. A few years later, and I discovered she hadn't changed a bit. Folks like that run their game too long, and have to move on to other Communities. I feel safer in knowing many of you have a true heart of Gold. __________________ www.SirDaywalker.com

04-18-2011, 10:01 PM	#3
scootebaby Timed Out How Do You Identify?: yes dear Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: south florida Posts: 2,494 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,264 Thanked 6,737 Times in 1,777 Posts Rep Power: 0	i can honestly say i have never sent money to anyone,BUT i have been suckered into stories...enough times that now i question almost everything and everybody...and of course i try to warn Jo about things...altho she did get fooled(guess i did as well since i was like "that is sad,and it would be very nice of you" i have learned however if you wait long enough and pay attention ppl will always forget the lies they tell!....as NYC said if you have the slightest inkling sometihng is not quite right,dont ignore it!

04-18-2011, 10:56 PM	#6
Gayla Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kinky Butch Top Preferred Pronoun?: I'm not picky Relationship Status: She makes me dance like a fool and forget how to breathe. Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: SF CA Posts: 3,229 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 877 Thanked 7,077 Times in 1,966 Posts Rep Power: 0	I have never sent money to anyone that I knew only online although I have come very, very, very close several times. I have also invested huge amounts of time and energy into relationships (of the friendship kind) with people who have turned out to be less than truthful. Oh, and I've fallen madly in love with two people who turned out to be completely batshit crazy. I've been online for a really long time, since the days of local BB's and Usenet, and I can't count the number of really amazing people that I've met along the way. I also can't count the number of not so great people that I've met. Probably the most important thing that I've learned through the years is to do as much as you can to verify that the person you are about to send money to, fly across the country to meet for the first time, give your home phone number or address or place of employment, etc. is who they say they are before you do any of those things. Yes, it can be uncomfortable to talk about. Yes, it can appear as "untrusting". Yes, it can be a mood killer. But the only time I've ever had someone balk was when they had something to hide.