7 Rules for Building Safer/Saner Online Communities

[Medusa]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

You are pretty damn fly...

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In the interest of not making another post:

I think that for me I wouldn't have been taken advantage of if I had not been in the emotional space that I was personally in at the time. I wonder if this rings true for others, as well?

Chancie IS fly

I do think the last part rings true more often than we'd like to admit. I think that our emotional states can sometimes blind us to the red flags - and even more, there are folks out there who are super skilled at picking up on that wounded energy.

People who are going through breakups, health issues, major family crisis, etc. need to be especially careful about seeking out comfort with people who may see that as an opportunity to fuck them over.

I'm so thankful knowing that the people out there with good intentions far outweigh those folks with ugly hearts. <3

[DomnNC]

Here's a few links that I found to be quite useful in the event of cyberstalking, how to stay safe online, how to gather info to pursue legal action if you are harassed, cyberstalked and if it carries over into offline how to handle that as well. The Stay Safe Online site has tools to check your pc for free to make sure it's secure and you aren't a prime candidate for identity theft due to hacking. Heck you can check it all out on the websites, they are well worth reading just for the knowledge.

Stay Safe Online
http://www.staysafeonline.org/

Cyber 911 Emergency
http://www.wiredsafety.org/cyberstal...ent/index.html

The National Center For Victims Of Crime
http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?d...cumentID=32458

Stalking Laws by State (this is up to date as of Jan/2010, but could be current for your state, you'll just have to click the link to see or simply google "YourState Stalking Law" or "YourState Cyberstalking Law")
http://www.ncvc.org/src/main.aspx?db...te_Statutes117

If someone is sending you threatening emails or obscene material/pics be sure to save them, tons of info about the sender can be garnered by email headers that have info embedded that the typical user never sees or doesn't know how to look for it.

Have fun and be safe all.

[Martina]

Originally Posted by Medusa

People who are going through breakups, health issues, major family crisis, etc. need to be especially careful about seeking out comfort with people who may see that as an opportunity to fuck them over.

i know this sounds heartless, but sometimes people going through those kinds of crises are the ones who hurt others. i think it explains a lot of behavior that would otherwise be inexcusable. They are sick or in pain or . . . .

It's the only way i understood what happened. i just had to put it down to that. One of the problems with these situations is how much they make you judge your own ability to tell if people are OK or not. i think there usually are red flags. But i don't just want to befriend people who don't need friends, people who look or seem perfect. Who is anyway?

It's also sad that, if you are badly burned, you almost stereotype. i mean the next time you encounter a person with characteristics similar to those of the person who harmed you, it's going to make you pause. It's crazy. i am thinking of things like age, disability status, mental health issues, even interests. i think that sort of thing happens when you are badly burned. And it's sad. It makes you so much less open.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Martina

It's also sad that, if you are badly burned, you almost stereotype. i mean the next time you encounter a person with characteristics similar to those of the person who harmed you, it's going to make you pause. It's crazy. i am thinking of things like age, disability status, mental health issues, even interests. i think that sort of thing happens when you are badly burned. And it's sad. It makes you so much less open.

Absolutely. I hate to admit it, but I now pause when I hear of spousal abuse because that's part of the ploy used on me by someone. They were in a relationship and hy was being abused by hys wife. The information I had seemed plausible, but everything looks plausible from 3500 miles away in retrospect.

[Sachita]

wow wow oy vey I bet there are lots of good reality shows huh? lol its true we have all had our fair share of deception and drama from those we forge friendships with even in our own community. Goddess knows I've dealt with some winners and my mouth should be deformed for as many times I stuck my foot in it.

The truth is that it would be so fucking nice to network, trust, partner, love and share. I get really lonely for community but after a few attempts you start seeing flags or one day you hear these stories about yourself that just aren't true.

I do know that good people sustain and they are always around not ships passing in the night. People that are no on the up and up eventually burn enough bridges, exit or attempt to reinvent themselves. Every now and then one slips through the cracks and even the wisest of person overlooks things. Compassion is sometimes a masochist and even when we know we might get burned we move forward.

But I'll tell you this... I'd like to see someone tell me I can't show my face or lift a hand to me. lol- that would have to be an insane person not playing with a full deck.

A few years back i get this email from a BF person making all these claims about what kind of person I am. lol- I didn't have a clue who this person was. I never defend myself against insanity. I simply open the door and tell you to see for yourself.

No one can ever act as judge and jury because the truth is we all have our own agenda, as it should be. Me, I look a bit closer, move slower and cherish the relationships I have. If I can help any human being I will. It's just that simple but I won't put my own ass on the line doing it.

[Admin]

****Bumpity Bump****