Butch/Butch Theory

[Quintease]

I live in a city, where lots of b/b, b/f, f/f, f/t, g/t, g/b and so on all date each other and hang out in different scenes. In fact I feel I'm doing a bit of a disservice as a lot of people I know have no interest in actually wearing a label, else they wear a rather 'shallow' label (as in, I have short hair therefore I call myself butch).

I think it's great! For myself I have dated a fantastic variety of women, so I was mortally offended once to join a b/f site only to read endless 'jokes' about how disgusting b/b was and how horny f/f was *vom*

[iamkeri1]

The B-F Community is exciting to me because it is the only place I have found affirmation for myself as a femme. I spent many years in politically active and politically correct Ann Arbor MI. Now that was a hard place to be a femme. I was actually degraded for wearing dresses - or makeup (dresses are soooo much cooler in a hot Michigan summer.) The norm was "andro" which translated at least in appearance to everyone looking (to me, the femme) butch. So most relationships at least in physical appearance were butch with butch.

Historically I have mostly been in relationships where the person I was with transitioned FTM. This reeked havoc with my lesbian identity, but conversely carries much privilege with it. What I made peace with over time, is that my ftm partner must have come out of the gay community and hopefully still identify somewhere along the queer continuum.

I find love hot.

If you as butch love another butch person, that is hot.
Femme loving Femme is hot.
Femme loving butch is hot
Femme lovng FTM is hot
Femme loving MTF is hot.

Finding someone to love who loves you back in this hard old world is hot
Smooches,
Keri

[ChainerBoi]

Butch/butch relationships have a whole different level of... I dunno... something going on. I think, for me, it's more cerebral, more... spiritual? A more intense type of sexuality - and less predictable.

[ChainerBoi]

Or, as someone in a previous post said, "A celebration of equals."

Thanks.

[Chancie]

Originally Posted by ChainerBoi

Or, as someone in a previous post said, "A celebration of equals."

Thanks.

I hope I'm not sorry if I ask, What does that mean?

[Quintease]

Originally Posted by ChainerBoi

Or, as someone in a previous post said, "A celebration of equals."

Thanks.

Wow...

How fcking insulting.

[Rope]

What you say about anothers sexuality/desire says more about you then it does about them. Internalized homophobia, mysoginistic turns of phrases, unintentionally insulting anothers relating with phrases like, 'more equal' or 'more spiritual' puts down the ability of another that they cannot have a more equal or spiritual relationship but you can...please. I sent a butch boi that was tracking me at an event to hang with the other bottoms who happened to be femmes for a bit in a hotel room, hys comment was, 'and do what, talk about fingernail polish?' Wow, way to turn me off by insulting my femme friends and assume their conversation could be nothing more than fluff.

We're attracted to what we're attracted to and that said, it can change over time.

So "our" community putting others down for their preferences is very sad and in my opinion should not be tolerated and challenged in conversations all the time.

Rope--

[Quintease]

Originally Posted by Rope

What you say about anothers sexuality/desire says more about you then it does about them. Internalized homophobia, mysoginistic turns of phrases, unintentionally insulting anothers relating with phrases like, 'more equal' or 'more spiritual' puts down the ability of another that they cannot have a more equal or spiritual relationship but you can...please. I sent a butch boi that was tracking me at an event to hang with the other bottoms who happened to be femmes for a bit in a hotel room, hys comment was, 'and do what, talk about fingernail polish?' Wow, way to turn me off by insulting my femme friends and assume their conversation could be nothing more than fluff.

And the fastest way to show your complete ignorance of how the world works. As a femme I never talked about nail polish*. Most of my friends are feminine and I can't think of a single conversation we had which centred about nail polish. What I did have, unfortunately, was masculine-type dykes talking to me as if I was 3 years old. I even had women express shock and outrage that I wasn't willing to follow them home like they expected me to. I'd say the problem isn't the femmes in a lot of cases, but less mature boi's and butches buying into the idea that feminine = passive.


*(not until I found a woman who could paint it on for me and make it stay for 3 weeks so I wouldn't have to do anything myself. I still wear it, not because I'm a 'femme' but because my husband loves it)

[deathbypoem]

I remember back in 09 when I first started this thread! WOW, that has been so long ago! Thanks Marine, for re-activating the thread ) Its been a while, since I have even gone through these threads. Must have been super busy these last couple years hah!!! Glad you also agree that butch/butch is super hot :P. As for me, YES Im still on the very extremely butch on butch love boat!

[Mormegil]

I have been attracted to femme and butch in the past. But anymore im almost always attracted to butches. I recently spoke to a woman that flat out told me i was weird because im more attracted to other butch women. She then informed me it is unnatural . I was kinda shocked and told her that some folks think gay in general is unnatural. And that i think you should just like what you like and thats it. She then told me its to weird and two butches together make her think of two men. I asked about femme /femme and that was unnatural to. I just quit talking to her lol .

Ive also had my brother tell me it would be hard for me to find a butch that would date me because im butch. And i say thats bs. Ive seen plenty butch/butch couples. And i attended the wedding of a soft butch and butch that had been together 20 years. So i say its natural and more common than some believe.

[cinnamongrrl]

the only issue I have with butch on butch....is that whn they partner up, its two fewer butches for us femmes that love em.....lol

[The_Lady_Snow]

Internal homophobia is an ugly stain in our queer tapestry...

Originally Posted by Mormegil

I have been attracted to femme and butch in the past. But anymore im almost always attracted to butches. I recently spoke to a woman that flat out told me i was weird because im more attracted to other butch women. She then informed me it is unnatural . I was kinda shocked and told her that some folks think gay in general is unnatural. And that i think you should just like what you like and thats it. She then told me its to weird and two butches together make her think of two men. I asked about femme /femme and that was unnatural to. I just quit talking to her lol .

Ive also had my brother tell me it would be hard for me to find a butch that would date me because im butch. And i say thats bs. Ive seen plenty butch/butch couples. And i attended the wedding of a soft butch and butch that had been together 20 years. So i say its natural and more common than some believe.

[Rope]

Originally Posted by ChainerBoi

Butch/butch relationships have a whole different level of... I dunno... something going on. I think, for me, it's more cerebral, more... spiritual? A more intense type of sexuality - and less predictable.

Just because you say 'Ithink, for me' does not remove the judgment language of 'it's more cerebral and more spiritual'. Back pedalling doesn't erase what you typed.

Rope--

[StrongButch]

I am a butch who dates other butches I respect everyones choice to be and date who they are attracted to I find that since I do date other butches many think im feminine and think because they are butch I would date them Both of these are untrue I am very butch and would never date or try to convince someone who wasnt into butch-butch dynamic to date me or switch teams Have a great day and keep loving who you love