What's Happening in Austin - Page 118

little man · 04-26-2011, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canmarielan

I suppose I didn't think about it either way. Yeah I spoke to the site manager and she said that the person just has to identify themselves as trans at the door. As I am not trans, I didn't know that identifying as trans was a negative thing? Anyway, I understand those of you who don't want to come b/c of that.

Pup...I honestly don't think it's about excluding trans people or being a "female-identified lesbian" ONLY party. It's a party geared toward having women of all ages (though aimed at those above 30), races, classes, sexual orientation come together and have a blast.

Sorry this is causing such a issue, though I don't understand why.

would you be willing to say "i'm not *really* queer" to be able to attend?

i don't think the policy is malicious in intent. i think the wording, the asking people to essentially deny who they are is misguided. it's difficult to see how language can affect others if you aren't in the affected group.

Puplove · 04-26-2011, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canmarielan

I suppose I didn't think about it either way. Yeah I spoke to the site manager and she said that the person just has to identify themselves as trans at the door. As I am not trans, I didn't know that identifying as trans was a negative thing? Anyway, I understand those of you who don't want to come b/c of that.

Pup...I honestly don't think it's about excluding trans people or being a "female-identified lesbian" ONLY party. It's a party geared toward having women of all ages (though aimed at those above 30), races, classes, sexual orientation come together and have a blast.

Sorry this is causing such a issue, though I don't understand why.

CM! It's not YOU causing an issue, right?

But the policy does hurt a lot of our peeps. I think it's good to air feelings, opposing viewpoints and our unique experiences; we run the risk of starting to think everyone agrees if we never come up against a difference. Narrows the mind and makes conversations dull after a while.

My own issue is calling up the deep hurt feelings of the "get out of our place, you don't belong" I experienced when trying to go to "lesbian-only" clubs as a young(ish) pup searching for belonging. Plus, I get very squeamish about forcing our trans guys to say "yep, I'm not really a guy," and it hurts my feelings FOR them and us.

It's a fun plan for an event that bumps smack into the cold reality that makes up so much of our world, where you have to fit into an accepted gender or appearance or orientation to be welcomed.

blush · 04-26-2011, 08:23 PM

[QUOTE=canmarielan;327575][COLOR="Red"]I suppose I didn't think about it either way. Yeah I spoke to the site manager and she said that the person just has to identify themselves as trans at the door. As I am not trans, I didn't know that identifying as trans was a negative thing? Anyway, I understand those of you who don't want to come b/c of that.

Pup...I honestly don't think it's about excluding trans people or being a "female-identified lesbian" ONLY party. It's a party geared toward having women of all ages (though aimed at those above 30), races, classes, sexual orientation come together and have a blast.

Sorry this is causing such a issue, though I don't understand why. [/

It's a lesbian dance, lesbian space. I respect that. It is offensive(however well intended) to ask a trans person to "identify" themselves. Requiring that anyone announce such personal information is offensive. Especially when only a certain group must make the disclosure. Are they checking to see if everyone is gay? There is a HUGE difference between SELF disclosure and required disclosure to attend a dance. You remove a person's agency when you make it mandatory that they announce it.

Honey, I love you and I respect you very much. Please understand that I'm trying to get you to think about this in a different way. It is certainly not a personal attack.

Puplove · 04-26-2011, 08:30 PM

cough cough...clear throat...little whistle...
oh, looky, is that a falling star?

pause

N-E-hooo.....

It seems teh Arwen needs a pool and a BBQ, Gemme and Ebon need a party. D (arrgh sorry about the name usage earlier damn you hooker for leading me down the path) needs something fun to do since he's visiting.

So...

Hey! How about swimming and bbq at Glynneice's on Saturday?

Swim time starting at 2 (shade starts creeping over the pool about 3, it'll be in the shade by about 5)
Barbecue and stuff probably about 5?

If you want to keep hanging out we can play games (fact) and stuff into the wee hours (crap...probably just one wee hour)
Bring yer drinks.
We'll negotiate the other stuff with teh Arwen and see what we come up with.
For god's sake, don't bring any candy. I may make you all take some home with you.
Oh, right -- we'll have healthier alternatives for snacking too.

Puplove · 04-26-2011, 08:34 PM

erg, sorry for stepping on your post, Blush - don't want to make it sound like I'm trivializing the good stuff you have to say. Although of course you already know you love me. Oh, I mean I love you.

Goofy · 04-26-2011, 08:50 PM

I'm not trying to belabor the point Candace (really, I'm not) but I just wanted to try and provide a bit of a different perspective.

It's got very little to do with actually being trans and more to do with being required to disclose it to someone.

I am transgendered. I do not run around in my daily life and tell folks I meet that I am trans. Some people see me as male, some don't; sometimes I correct pronoun usage, sometimes I don't. Now say I were to go to this dance party and the door person sees me as male. Do I have to disclose that I am anything otherwise? Or if they look at my ID and see my birth name, do I then get a "pass"? Do you see how disheartening this could be?

I've got nothing against the Hot Flash Dances and I get the need for lesbian-only or women-only spaces. But I'm neither a woman nor a lesbian, so we won't be going.

blush · 04-26-2011, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Puplove

erg, sorry for stepping on your post, Blush - don't want to make it sound like I'm trivializing the good stuff you have to say. Although of course you already know you love me. Oh, I mean I love you.

Yeah. Whatever.

Flouncing,
B.

Puplove · 04-26-2011, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blush

Yeah. Whatever.

Flouncing,
B.

So I guess we have some shopping to do, because that flounce will NOT work for our date.

blush · 04-26-2011, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Puplove

So I guess we have some shopping to do, because that flounce will NOT work for our date.

Do we need new Flouncing Shoes?

Gemme · 04-26-2011, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Puplove

cough cough...clear throat...little whistle...
oh, looky, is that a falling star?

pause

N-E-hooo.....

It seems teh Arwen needs a pool and a BBQ, Gemme and Ebon need a party. D (arrgh sorry about the name usage earlier damn you hooker for leading me down the path) needs something fun to do since he's visiting.

So...

Hey! How about swimming and bbq at Glynneice's on Saturday?

Swim time starting at 2 (shade starts creeping over the pool about 3, it'll be in the shade by about 5)
Barbecue and stuff probably about 5?

If you want to keep hanging out we can play games (fact) and stuff into the wee hours (crap...probably just one wee hour)
Bring yer drinks.
We'll negotiate the other stuff with teh Arwen and see what we come up with.
For god's sake, don't bring any candy. I may make you all take some home with you.
Oh, right -- we'll have healthier alternatives for snacking too.

The candy. Gimme.

I'm thinking of being brave. I'm thinking of coming and with only Gelli to guide me (cuz even though you SHOULD be closer to us, you're really not).

I'm thinking of getting absolutely, fantastically, wholly burnt like fluffy marshmallow

Gemme · 04-26-2011, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blush

Do we need new Flouncing Shoes?

I'd definitely recommend flouncing insoles, at the very least.

Ebon · 04-26-2011, 09:24 PM

It appears that it is just a girls night out. If you don't want to go then don't go.

Puplove · 04-26-2011, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blush

Do we need new Flouncing Shoes?

Flat ones.

little man · 04-26-2011, 11:02 PM

austin continues to offer up opportunity for me.

i wrote a guy who had an ad up on CL to cast a comedy short. i figure what the hell, can't get the electric chair for asking, right? if i'm going to get any experience and opportunity to do production/still photos, i have to put myself out there.

the guy responded favorably to my inquiry and says he may even have some other projects i can shoot for him.

thank you universe for flipping the switch in my brain that said quit this suck ass job and move to austin. all praise the infinite wisdom of wil's universe.

i will, of course, link y'all up with any work i get. i so needed this today.

Arwen · 04-26-2011, 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canmarielan

I suppose I didn't think about it either way. Yeah I spoke to the site manager and she said that the person just has to identify themselves as trans at the door. As I am not trans, I didn't know that identifying as trans was a negative thing? Anyway, I understand those of you who don't want to come b/c of that.

Pup...I honestly don't think it's about excluding trans people or being a "female-identified lesbian" ONLY party. It's a party geared toward having women of all ages (though aimed at those above 30), races, classes, sexual orientation come together and have a blast.

Sorry this is causing such a issue, though I don't understand why.

Honey, the only thing is that the policy says to self-id at the door. That's denying an FtM the right to be the man they are.

And, how are they going to prove it? Drop their pants?

(thinking of volunteering now...)

But yeah, I think women-only space and man-only space is awesome. I just think the way they say it is kinda icky.

BUT! We can have it all!

We can party for BBQ at Glyneice's. Then those that want to go party to some awesome music with some fabulous women can.

And those that don't can stay and play games.

SO there! We can have it all in Austin.

And DrSassyPants and Maryoosa too!

little man · 04-26-2011, 11:09 PM

because he probably won't say anything, i will.

ash just had one of his pics picked up by an educational newspaper in the big bend area.

the photo world is rockin' in this place tonight!

yay ash!!!

Arwen · 04-27-2011, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little man

because he probably won't say anything, i will.

ash just had one of his pics picked up by an educational newspaper in the big bend area.

the photo world is rockin' in this place tonight!

yay ash!!!

GO ASHMAN! I'm so proud of you! You are an amazing photographer. I miss our random rambling runs!

Soon, yes?

canmarielan · 04-27-2011, 06:26 PM

Glynise, thanks for hosting another party! I will most likely hang out that day for a while

Love ya,
Candace

drsassypants · 04-27-2011, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arwen

SO there! We can have it all in Austin.

And DrSassyPants and Maryoosa too!

I cannot believe I land in a week. Or that I'm running a half marathon on Saturday, but that's a horse of a different color.

little man · 04-27-2011, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drsassypants

I cannot believe I land in a week. Or that I'm running a half marathon on Saturday, but that's a horse of a different color.

took a dry run to the airport today, so's i can find you.

excitement abounds! it's gonna be soooo good to see you again.

04-26-2011, 08:23 PM	#2343
blush Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: I'm with goofy. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 911 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 962 Thanked 2,375 Times in 616 Posts Rep Power: 15632317	[QUOTE=canmarielan;327575][COLOR="Red"]I suppose I didn't think about it either way. Yeah I spoke to the site manager and she said that the person just has to identify themselves as trans at the door. As I am not trans, I didn't know that identifying as trans was a negative thing? Anyway, I understand those of you who don't want to come b/c of that. Pup...I honestly don't think it's about excluding trans people or being a "female-identified lesbian" ONLY party. It's a party geared toward having women of all ages (though aimed at those above 30), races, classes, sexual orientation come together and have a blast. Sorry this is causing such a issue, though I don't understand why. [/ It's a lesbian dance, lesbian space. I respect that. It is offensive(however well intended) to ask a trans person to "identify" themselves. Requiring that anyone announce such personal information is offensive. Especially when only a certain group must make the disclosure. Are they checking to see if everyone is gay? There is a HUGE difference between SELF disclosure and required disclosure to attend a dance. You remove a person's agency when you make it mandatory that they announce it. Honey, I love you and I respect you very much. Please understand that I'm trying to get you to think about this in a different way. It is certainly not a personal attack. __________________ "We never forget those who make us blush." Jean-Francois de la Harpe

04-26-2011, 08:30 PM	#2344
Puplove Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Austin TX Posts: 904 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 879 Thanked 3,215 Times in 705 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	cough cough...clear throat...little whistle... oh, looky, is that a falling star? pause N-E-hooo..... It seems teh Arwen needs a pool and a BBQ, Gemme and Ebon need a party. D (arrgh sorry about the name usage earlier damn you hooker for leading me down the path) needs something fun to do since he's visiting. So... Hey! How about swimming and bbq at Glynneice's on Saturday? Swim time starting at 2 (shade starts creeping over the pool about 3, it'll be in the shade by about 5) Barbecue and stuff probably about 5? If you want to keep hanging out we can play games (fact) and stuff into the wee hours (crap...probably just one wee hour) Bring yer drinks. We'll negotiate the other stuff with teh Arwen and see what we come up with. For god's sake, don't bring any candy. I may make you all take some home with you. Oh, right -- we'll have healthier alternatives for snacking too. __________________ Alice laughed: "There's no use trying," she said; "one can't believe impossible things." "I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "...Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

04-26-2011, 08:34 PM	#2345
Puplove Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Austin TX Posts: 904 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 879 Thanked 3,215 Times in 705 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	erg, sorry for stepping on your post, Blush - don't want to make it sound like I'm trivializing the good stuff you have to say. Although of course you already know you love me. Oh, I mean I love you. __________________ Alice laughed: "There's no use trying," she said; "one can't believe impossible things." "I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "...Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

04-26-2011, 09:24 PM	#2352
Ebon Senior Member How Do You Identify?: With my souls eyes. Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: lol Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Here Posts: 3,476 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,524 Thanked 11,142 Times in 2,757 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	It appears that it is just a girls night out. If you don't want to go then don't go. __________________ In Lak'ech Ala K'in I'm a Soul Rebel http://wannabereverend.wordpress.com/ Spirituality is not a belief system or ideology, it is the surrender of one's ego to the infinite wisdom and knowledge that is the universe. Last edited by Ebon; 04-26-2011 at 09:42 PM.

04-26-2011, 11:02 PM	#2354
little man Member How Do You Identify?: mister Preferred Pronoun?: he Relationship Status: hard to hold Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: where the road goes on forever and the party never ends Posts: 1,003 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 169 Thanked 1,535 Times in 437 Posts Rep Power: 13709164	in other news.... austin continues to offer up opportunity for me. i wrote a guy who had an ad up on CL to cast a comedy short. i figure what the hell, can't get the electric chair for asking, right? if i'm going to get any experience and opportunity to do production/still photos, i have to put myself out there. the guy responded favorably to my inquiry and says he may even have some other projects i can shoot for him. thank you universe for flipping the switch in my brain that said quit this suck ass job and move to austin. all praise the infinite wisdom of wil's universe. i will, of course, link y'all up with any work i get. i so needed this today. __________________ i gots pitchers here i'm a rambling man i ain't ever gonna change i got a gypsy soul to blame and i was born for leaving --zac brown band (colder weather)

04-26-2011, 08:50 PM	#2346
Goofy Member How Do You Identify?: Cheesecake Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: he Relationship Status: I'm blushing Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Austin Posts: 300 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 120 Thanked 599 Times in 170 Posts Rep Power: 2573088	I'm not trying to belabor the point Candace (really, I'm not) but I just wanted to try and provide a bit of a different perspective. It's got very little to do with actually being trans and more to do with being required to disclose it to someone. I am transgendered. I do not run around in my daily life and tell folks I meet that I am trans. Some people see me as male, some don't; sometimes I correct pronoun usage, sometimes I don't. Now say I were to go to this dance party and the door person sees me as male. Do I have to disclose that I am anything otherwise? Or if they look at my ID and see my birth name, do I then get a "pass"? Do you see how disheartening this could be? I've got nothing against the Hot Flash Dances and I get the need for lesbian-only or women-only spaces. But I'm neither a woman nor a lesbian, so we won't be going.

04-26-2011, 11:09 PM	#2356
little man Member How Do You Identify?: mister Preferred Pronoun?: he Relationship Status: hard to hold Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: where the road goes on forever and the party never ends Posts: 1,003 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 169 Thanked 1,535 Times in 437 Posts Rep Power: 13709164	good times at the midnight blues ranch because he probably won't say anything, i will. ash just had one of his pics picked up by an educational newspaper in the big bend area. the photo world is rockin' in this place tonight! yay ash!!! __________________ i gots pitchers here i'm a rambling man i ain't ever gonna change i got a gypsy soul to blame and i was born for leaving --zac brown band (colder weather)

04-27-2011, 06:26 PM	#2358
canmarielan Member How Do You Identify?: Loud mouth, big hair, spunky Texas Femme lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: It's a SHE!!!! Relationship Status: PKCL0204 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Austin Posts: 522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47 Thanked 1,134 Times in 326 Posts Rep Power: 9035226	Glynise, thanks for hosting another party! I will most likely hang out that day for a while Love ya, Candace