Friends of Bill W.

[RockOn]

Hello to Sherrie and Everyone! Sherry, I knew I would get a lift when I came in and read your writings. Hope things are going well for you and Tommi.

As of lately, my theme has been "ceased fighting" ... I am finding the road much smoother when I practice this. I surprised myself yesterday by not going off on someone at work who desperately needed to hear what I had to say. I found by curbing my tongue, I did not die from it. LOL!

I cannot help but notice that recovering alcoholics/addicts are not the only ones with built-in self-sabotaging features.

I thought to myself ... "Step aside, let someone else experience the opportunity in handling difficult people who generate the identical reoccurring situations - faulty software which requires recoding." Maybe this person who is pissing off several team members, will eventually one day tire of having to recode this particular piece of work and do it the correct way on the first go at it. Or maybe they won't. The main thing, I can let others point out the flaw today. I remove my software police badge, allow another team member to notice this EXACT cyclic error produced by this same individual in every similar given situation .... the result --- > lighter load for me.

When I can remember that I am easily replacable, hold no special talents, no importance and am merely one tiny grain of sand among bazillions ... my ego gets trimmed to right-size and others find me more pleasant to be around.

I embrace this easy ride I have been freely given lately and am enjoying the simplest of things.

Today I feel right-sized. Hope I can continue to remember the things my program has taught me and maybe, just maybe ... I can be right-sized again tomorrow. We'll see.

Wishing everyone goodness today!

Buy the ticket. Take the ride.

[LeftWriteFemme]

April 29




Would You Rather a Lamp?

I am a girl filled with expectations. Like a ginger jar filled, stuffed caulker block full, though the filling is the part which is unpredictable; it could be match books, or seashells, acorns or all those pretty capsules. This makes me erratic and sometimes volatile. Are you strong enough or far too sane to stay and help me sort the contents? It’s lonely work without a witness or a spotter. I rather be alone than with you reluctantly, so please try to shuck that husk and remain. Yes, I am sometimes capricious, but I try never to be cruel. I know sometimes you convince yourself that leaving me to my own devices is the wisest of courses, but don’t be fooled; you disappear due to your weakness not strength and the worst part about the price of abandonment is that everyone has to pay it.





Design a window that looks out on your dreams


*



THE SHINY THING

The starling stands with the candy wrapper in its beak
The cellophane flexes in the breeze
Here is my life

I have the shiny thing in my possession , What do I do?
Do I give up my intended tasks to attempt dominance
Or control of the shiny thing?

Do I release this thing of intrigue and beauty
I am drawn to the shimerance and sparkle
But shutter at the price

The world is filled with shiny things
I can enjoy them
But leave them where they lay.

[LeftWriteFemme]

Originally Posted by Brock

Hello to Sherrie and Everyone! Sherry, I knew I would get a lift when I came in and read your writings.

As of lately, my theme has been "ceased fighting" ... I am finding the road much smoother when I practice this. I surprised myself yesterday by not going off on someone at work who desperately needed to hear what I had to say. I found by curbing my tongue, I did not die from it. LOL!

I cannot help but notice that recovering alcoholics/addicts are not the only ones with built-in self-sabotaging features.

I thought to myself ... "Step aside, let someone else experience the opportunity in handling difficult people who generate the identical reoccurring situations - faulty software which requires recoding." Maybe this person who is pissing off several team members, will eventually one day tire of having to recode this particular piece of work and do it the correct way on the first go at it. Or maybe they won't. The main thing, I can let others point out the flaw today. I remove my software police badge, allow another team member to notice this EXACT cyclic error produced by this same individual in every similar given situation .... the result --- > lighter load for me.

When I can remember that I am easily replacable, hold no special talents, no importance and am merely one tiny grain of sand among bazillions ... my ego gets trimmed to right-size and others find me more pleasant to be around.

I embrace this easy ride I have been freely given lately and am enjoying the simplest of things.

Today I feel right-sized. Hope I can continue to remember the things my program has taught me and maybe, just maybe ... I can be right-sized again tomorrow. We'll see.

Wishing everyone goodness today!

Buy the ticket. Take the ride.

Wow, Brock, that is a huge lesson learned! I am so impressed! It can't be easy working on such intense work and still being able to let people learn or not learn their lessons, wow, hurray you!!!!

I hope you have a wonderful day!

Take care,

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

April 30



Jane Street

The space between wanting to live and not wanting to hurt is the alley in which I live. This lane is not as narrow as you might think, in some places there is room for parking on one side. Since I reside here more often than not I have filled it with many of the appliances, which allow me to pretend at life. It doesn’t afford a truly clean or cheerful locale, but there are laughs, sometimes flowers in the spring. Finding my way out of this is tricky. When unlocked I find these are backdoors to commerce and though better than being sold wholesale, retail is not what I was hoping to find as I wrest myself from a confined existence. I have heard of those who drive through plate glass ignoring the structure. I think this is less workable from the back. What is left when I can’t bully or climb? I guess I will have to throw my hands up and pray.






Acknowledge a myth about yourself



*

ROLES

You don’t have to give up playing God
Because it was a bad thing to do.
You have to give it up because it doesn’t work
Said my sponsor in her most gentle voice.

In a world seemingly spinning out of control
You, brave child, stepped up to the plate and took a swing
That is heroic not demonic
But impractical nevertheless

You have to be your own full-time job
Even when it feels like there are other jobs left unfilled
You don’t have to run around finding the feet
To fill those empty shoes

Maybe those empty shoes are just bait for a bad trap
Keep on your journey and you will come to a place where the work
Is being accomplished by a surprising cast of characters
You will be free to stick to the role ahead of you.

[RockOn]

I have mentioned this to you before ...

You can come up with the most awesome one-liners!! I totally love this line of yours below.

quoting you:
"Acknowledge a myth about yourself"

I will be seeing my sponsor at some point today and will be sure to share this with her.

When I read this, it reminded me ----> Through my recovery literature readings, friends sharing in meetings and a few direct comments by the sponsor lady ... at times I am prone to have somewhat of a warped perception of the world.

I think I will keep coming back. I need to be reminded. *grin*

Happy weekend, Sherrie!

[LeftWriteFemme]

May 1





Terry Bradshaw

When someone wants to take the easy way out I condemn them for wanting ease and fail to register that they want out. I hear a whine when in fact it’s a cry. A challenge is rarely passed up by the able bodied, but must be foregone by the injured. Carried from the field is no personal victory, not a goal for sure. When I would rather watch than play I need to check for wounds not inflict them. It is not natural for me to sit in the stands, but accusation is never the way to get me on the field. Suit up when I’m whole and hide when I’m not. Absence is a fallback position for the fallen; I have to help myself to get back up.







Recognize friends as art


*

PIGS

Talking to a chrysalis about flight
Is like talking to a fetus about dry land.
Descriptions of future events
And possibility are lost in the translation.

To the uninitiated these realities sound like gibberish
And flight of fancy or foolish dogma
Yet I am drawn to talk of these things
Imagine and describe them.

I am changed by this procedure
I am transformed in the details
When I can accurately depict it
I am taking the stride into living it

I am my own pig
I have taught myself to sing
And have wasted no time at all.

[LeftWriteFemme]

May 2



Reguess

When in my sarcasm I suggested that you ‘guess again’, I realized that you were in fact guessing, guessing about everything, guessing in order to create a process of elimination, a tool on which I now recognize you entirely depend. Guessing as a way of life is a tragedy. I’m not saying that trying to know every last thing in the world is an acceptable alternate goal, but to reach an adult age and not even be able to work your way up to a possible hunch is scary, scarier than even my sarcasm, which at this moment seems interminable, but I’m sure you guessed that.







Make a list of your favorite fingers



*

ON COMING

Anticipation of the approaching traffic consumes.
The tiny spec grows and develops into the arriving vehicle
50 miles per and the rapid succession of the coming
And those leaving eats quickly at my heart.

The pain seers me
Why are these who travel from the direction of my destination
Passing me by?
For miles and miles they appear to be greeters

The breeze created by their passing chaps my face
And questions my goals
How can so many abandon my objective?
But flee they do.

My hunger does not diminish
And I press on
Of course if we all went this way, we might tip the globe
Maybe that’s what they fear.

[LeftWriteFemme]

May 3

Van and I
(Happy cleaning windows)



When the fog clears and I still can’t see, I check my optics and wash my windows. The mundane upkeep hones my pursuit. After the weather and housekeeping concerns are managed, eye exercises are next on the agenda. I have to strengthen my equipment, stay fit or fall prey to vagaries of nearsighted limits or farsighted failings. Myopia is an ever presence danger I must guard against as well. A fixed focus is a death trap. I must learn to track a moving target while I wend onward. Nothing in life is stationary; concentration and a decent line of sight are priceless rudiments. Continual practice with the tools and tactics build my confidence and sharpen wit. Burdens are lightened when I see my goal in stark relief; I can chart my path and make my way. Sobriety means if I can see it I can believe it, so I best go get the Windex.



Lock your doors when you need to, open windows when you can


*

MY SOBER HEART

The heart I have today
Is not the heart I have had all my life
Cells age and are replaced

I slough off what I can no longer use
And rejuvenate with fresh layers
My sobriety is the same.

Past step work is revamped and approached in innovative ways
Yesterdays prayers are replaced with today’s
Today’s meditations will be dispelled by tomorrows

The function remains the same but it is constructed with brand-new work
Service I render is always for my sobriety
But I work to strengthen various quadrants

My heart is not as young as it used to be
And vigorous action remakes it new each day
I rebuild my sober heart continually because forever and today
I have the mind of an alcoholic.