Dating "non single" people

[Quintease]

Originally Posted by WheelieStrong

in regards to the man i'm seeing, i seem to have made the dicision for him!

He stayed over last week and i was determind to be happy no matter what, but at one point we went into a card shop and he said he had to buy a card for his boyfriend, i felt like i'd been gutted, and when i saw his choice of card after an eternity (minutes) of fighting back tears, my heart was complete ripped out, i managed to hold it together and i have no idea how, i had to go to the bathroom to prevent myself from crying in front of him and then i sat there and had coffee like all was fine with the world, he knew i wasn't fine, he even called me a liar (nicely) when he asked if i was ok and i said yes, but i figured he either aready knew what was wrong or there was no point going over it.

Last night in a text he gave me the impression the boyfriend is here to stay and that i could be around as long as i was ok with that, to which i said i wasn't, it makes me selfish i know but i am madly in love with this man, if being his friend was enough we wouldn't have an issue.

He said if i told him i never wanted to see or hear from him again, i should tell him and he will leave me alone.
God i'm fighting back tears even writing this..
i asked him not to make me say it, but that i would if i had to, he said he needed to know what was going on, so i told him i never want to see or hear from him again!

Now i just wish the world would swallow me whole, it's a complete and utter lie and he knows it.
But he deserves a better life and i just can't be second best any more.

He wants to be my friend but i'm guessing if i'm strong and stay away that will be so much better for everyone.

i just wish i didn't feel so selfish for doing what i think is the right thing.

You wanted him to break up with his boyfriend? *shakes head*

I used to be that person, in a relationship, madly in love with my girlfriend and dating other people. To be honest, had any of them asked me to break up with my girlfriend, I would have said no, I would have given them the option to walk away, and I probably would have lost a bit of respect for them.

He's in a relationship. Regardless of your feelings, if you can't accept that then it really is best if you walk away. Anything else would be cheating. His boyfriend is clearly trusting him to not run off with someone else, or let another person come between them, and if he's a decent chap he will honour that trust.

I hope one day the two of you can be friends again.

[WheelieStrong]

Originally Posted by Quintease

You wanted him to break up with his boyfriend? *shakes head*

Hi hi hi wow so much time has passed since this part of my life.

It was never really a case of me wanting him to leave his boyfriend, certainly not so he could be with me (i mean yes picking me would have been preferred) but he was so indecisive, there was always that, i don't know who i want to be with situation with him, as with many people in this situation, even if he had left his boyfriend there was no guarantee he wouldn't have left me at the same time too.

The relationship i had with him never technically ended, we never broke it off or fell out, he just moved in with his boyfriend which made it impossible to go on as he had been.
Of course i was hurt but i think just loosing touch was maybe easier than being kicked to the curb.

He did completely disappear for a while but is in my life today and i still adore him, his life is VERY different now so physically spending time with him isn't really an option but we are not complete strangers anymore.

The only hurt i felt really is that his relationship with his boyfriend broke down and i don't remember if it was shortly after they split or shortly before, he told me he made the wrong choice and he must have picked me, that really hurt me, i hope someone here understands why.

i found love since then and lost it but i am still alive and i think i am a much stronger person than the person who started this thread.

i found someone i actually really really like so i hope there is a way to work it out
If not i just pull my socks up and hold my head high, i'm definitely nowhere near as fragile as i have been, at least not right now