Lies You've Told

The_Lady_Snow · 07-03-2011, 09:01 PM

I've lied and said I was American just so I would not have to hear all kinds of ignorant questions about how I came to be here...

nycfem · 07-03-2011, 10:06 PM

Oh, the lies, where to start?

In my younger days, when my mom first saw the tattoo on my upper arm of a battle ax and gasped, I yelled out, "It's a temporary tattoo! It comes off!" It gave her some adjustment time, so that after a few months went by, she looked at it and said with a smirk, "That temporary tattoo sure is staying around for quite awhile."

In high school, my gay brother and I, along with a few misfit friends, set out to vandalize a giant pro-life billboard in Ohio. We all dressed in black (so smart of us) and set off with a big plastic gun filled with paint. The problem was that when we got to the actual billboard we realized it was reallllyyyy high up, something we hadn't quite picked up on while driving by it. We ended up having to settle for the one athletic member of our group throwing the gun up at the billboard and were more than lucky that a small speckle of black paint showed up on the white background. On our way home, we were stopped by a policeman, who asked us what we were up to. Since most of us had dabs of black paint on us from trying to deal with the gun, I said, "We were working on the set for our school play." At 4am. On the highway. The officer didn't even bother to respond to that and simply asked for our names so that if he heard about any misdeeds in the morning, he'd know who to approach. That was when some of us should have lied but we didn't. Luckily nothing terrible seemed to have occurred, so we were off the hook, and ever so proud when we drove by that billboard and saw the barely noticeable dot of black paint.

I lied by omission when a butch friend talked to me over the phone about how his most recent ex was "dark sided" because she didn't believe in God and how he wanted to meet a nice girl like me. I should have spoken up but I didn't so quickly want to have to defend myself as to being nice and dark-sided. Heh, heh.

little_ms_sunshyne · 07-03-2011, 11:57 PM

I once told a drunk woman I was a Lesbian polygamist and had 2 sister wives...I convinced her that she should join.

tapu · 07-04-2011, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by little_ms_sunshyne

I once told a drunk woman I was a Lesbian polygamist and had 2 sister wives...I convinced her that she should join.

and i thought i had good lines....

pajama · 07-04-2011, 08:55 AM

I refuse to disclose on the grounds that it will incriminate me both here and at large.

Plus they really were of the bland, lie to your parents to see your boyfriend type. Or the extensive sets of lies to get into clubs or buy booze.

I love reading this thread thou. Keep them coming.

A

Ciaran · 07-04-2011, 02:13 PM

Back in the early 1990s, I had started to date a really nice girl and we'd decided to go to the cinema. It was her choice of film and she decided on going to see Naked Gun 33 1/3.

I knew nothing about it (or most other Hollywood films for that matter) but, trying to be uber-cool, I pretended otherwise. On the evening we met up, she asked me what I thought of Leslie Nielsen. Every Lesley I'd know in real life had been female so I instantly replied that she was a great actress and that I was a massive fan of hers .....

The date went downhill from there and taught me that, if I'm going to tell a bare-faced lie, make sure I know what I'm talking about !!!

CherylNYC · 07-04-2011, 05:58 PM

My most persistent lie:

"I'm sorry, have no idea how fast I was going, Officer. I was just keeping up with traffic."

07-03-2011, 09:01 PM	#1
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,077 Times in 15,670 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	I've lied and said I was American just so I would not have to hear all kinds of ignorant questions about how I came to be here... __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

07-04-2011, 05:58 PM	#7
CherylNYC Member How Do You Identify?: Stonefemme lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: I'm a woman. Behave accordingly. Relationship Status: Single, not looking. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: NYC Posts: 1,467 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,474 Thanked 7,111 Times in 1,205 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	My most persistent lie: "I'm sorry, have no idea how fast I was going, Officer. I was just keeping up with traffic." __________________ Cheryl

07-03-2011, 10:06 PM	#2
nycfem Moderator How Do You Identify?: femme sub Preferred Pronoun?: Baby Grrl Relationship Status: Attached Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NYC Posts: 6,794 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 52,987 Thanked 21,427 Times in 5,101 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Oh, the lies, where to start? In my younger days, when my mom first saw the tattoo on my upper arm of a battle ax and gasped, I yelled out, "It's a temporary tattoo! It comes off!" It gave her some adjustment time, so that after a few months went by, she looked at it and said with a smirk, "That temporary tattoo sure is staying around for quite awhile." In high school, my gay brother and I, along with a few misfit friends, set out to vandalize a giant pro-life billboard in Ohio. We all dressed in black (so smart of us) and set off with a big plastic gun filled with paint. The problem was that when we got to the actual billboard we realized it was reallllyyyy high up, something we hadn't quite picked up on while driving by it. We ended up having to settle for the one athletic member of our group throwing the gun up at the billboard and were more than lucky that a small speckle of black paint showed up on the white background. On our way home, we were stopped by a policeman, who asked us what we were up to. Since most of us had dabs of black paint on us from trying to deal with the gun, I said, "We were working on the set for our school play." At 4am. On the highway. The officer didn't even bother to respond to that and simply asked for our names so that if he heard about any misdeeds in the morning, he'd know who to approach. That was when some of us should have lied but we didn't. Luckily nothing terrible seemed to have occurred, so we were off the hook, and ever so proud when we drove by that billboard and saw the barely noticeable dot of black paint. I lied by omission when a butch friend talked to me over the phone about how his most recent ex was "dark sided" because she didn't believe in God and how he wanted to meet a nice girl like me. I should have spoken up but I didn't so quickly want to have to defend myself as to being nice and dark-sided. Heh, heh.

07-03-2011, 11:57 PM	#3
little_ms_sunshyne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: . Posts: 3,312 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,339 Thanked 12,241 Times in 2,541 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	*I once told a drunk woman I was a Lesbian polygamist and had 2 sister wives...I convinced her that she should join.*

07-04-2011, 08:55 AM	#5
pajama Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Klingon Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Just South of Nashvegas Baby Posts: 3,115 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,546 Thanked 7,476 Times in 1,808 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I refuse to disclose on the grounds that it will incriminate me both here and at large. Plus they really were of the bland, lie to your parents to see your boyfriend type. Or the extensive sets of lies to get into clubs or buy booze. I love reading this thread thou. Keep them coming. A

07-04-2011, 02:13 PM	#6
Ciaran Member How Do You Identify?: Altocalciphilic Preferred Pronoun?: Papa Smurf Relationship Status: Curmudgeonous spinster Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: London (but from Belfast) Posts: 678 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 471 Thanked 3,654 Times in 602 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Back in the early 1990s, I had started to date a really nice girl and we'd decided to go to the cinema. It was her choice of film and she decided on going to see Naked Gun 33 1/3. I knew nothing about it (or most other Hollywood films for that matter) but, trying to be uber-cool, I pretended otherwise. On the evening we met up, she asked me what I thought of Leslie Nielsen. Every Lesley I'd know in real life had been female so I instantly replied that she was a great actress and that I was a massive fan of hers ..... The date went downhill from there and taught me that, if I'm going to tell a bare-faced lie, make sure I know what I'm talking about !!!