Amongst us butches ..

[Dude]

Originally Posted by Inked_Trinity

A femme always needs reassuring, it's not that she doesn't believe you....she just needs to know that she is still hot in your eyes.

I realize this was posted a month ago but "A femme always needs reassuring"
is along the same lines as " butch's (and/or any gender id here) always need their ego stroked".

Both make me feel queezy and I'm surprised I'm the first to say anything.

True confidence to me, is an inside job.
Not to mention, "always needs reassuring" makes femme's sound weak ,frail, insecure ,brainless and quite exhausting to be with or around.

I hate the premise that any of us people here, are all the same.
The If you've done one, you've done them all mentality get's my goat
every time I see it.
I'm so not an expert on all things femme because fortunately they are all so different and that in itself is THE MOST fascinating thing (to me)

[Chazz]

Confident or not, we all need reassuring.

It's an inside job.

[LaneyDoll]

Originally Posted by Chazz

Confident or not, we all need reassuring.

It's an inside job.

If you asked 20 people at my club, "who is the most confident person here" your replies would EXCLUSIVELY be "Laney" or "A" who is my best friend.

But having the appearance of confidence does not mean that I am not having a bad day b/c of work/illness/traffic or a myriad of other reasons. And when the world gets to be overwhelming, a kind compliment-especially a unique one is much appreciated. Even confident people like to hear that someone admires a certain quality about them, especially when that person is someone whose opinion we value OR when it is a complete stranger.

I went out a few years ago with a platonic friend of mine. We went to the local alt bar AFTER the party at the dungeon. It was easily 2 in the morning. But, as we were waiting to get in, she peered at me and said "your eyes look like works of art." She did not have to say that but she did and, despite her moving away, she will always have a special place in my heart.

About a year prior to that, a woman ahead of me in post-Christmas returns line at Wal-mart (a place that I hate by the way) made my night with a compliment. She told me that my eyes look like polished glass or gemstones. She took a stressful/tiring situation & turned it into a fond memory.

Never doubt the power of a compliment.

[Dominique]

Ya know....just as we ask the gentlemen to respect our femme space....

we should respect the Butch space. I'm not trying to be thread police

BUT, it is marked BUTCH zone and alot of us ladies are in here telling our

Butches what they should be talking about. Fair is fair.....just saying!

[Red Dirt Girl]

If I read it correctly, I'm pretty sure that Merlin (OP) welcomed input from femmes. (post #2)

Originally Posted by Yellow band

Ya know....just as we ask the gentlemen to respect our femme space....

we should respect the Butch space. I'm not trying to be thread police

BUT, it is marked BUTCH zone and alot of us ladies are in here telling our

Butches what they should be talking about. Fair is fair.....just saying!

[Dominique]

if thats the case, I appologize. I did not read all 64 posts. I read alot, and it was mostly femmes postings.

Sorry, as sorrys are do!


ETA:...Yes, post two says femme please apply. my bad!

[Red Dirt Girl]

No bad. Perfectly reasonable comments/concerns actually.

To be honest, I find it's sometimes hard to know who is welcome in which posts, and when. I would not normally post in a thread entitled "For all things Butch", but I just felt so welcomed by Merlin's invitation.

Now I better go back to reading about girlie stuff!

Originally Posted by Yellow band

if thats the case, I appologize. I did not read all 64 posts. I read alot, and it was mostly femmes postings.

Sorry, as sorrys are do!


ETA:...Yes, post two says femme please apply. my bad!

[Starbuck]

Okay, this may or may not be the place to post this, but I have a question that I think needs to be answered by someone in the butch zone. I consider myself a soft femme, I'm dating a lipstick lesbian...she is HOT! This is where my question comes in: I am attracted to other soft femmes (or so it seems) and soft butches. What the hell? I love looking at a femmes ass and then I love making eye contact with a butch thinking "man I really go for that". Am I confused or just a middle of the road type person?? Someone please answer me.

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by Dude

I realize this was posted a month ago but "A femme always needs reassuring"
is along the same lines as " butch's (and/or any gender id here) always need their ego stroked".

Both make me feel queezy and I'm surprised I'm the first to say anything.

True confidence to me, is an inside job.
Not to mention, "always needs reassuring" makes femme's sound weak ,frail, insecure ,brainless and quite exhausting to be with or around.

I hate the premise that any of us people here, are all the same.
The If you've done one, you've done them all mentality get's my goat
every time I see it.
I'm so not an expert on all things femme because fortunately they are all so different and that in itself is THE MOST fascinating thing (to me)

Thanks, Dude. I don't know how I missed that quote, and I really appreciate you pointing it out and writing such a great response.

[Red Dirt Girl]

You were maybe the first one to say anything b/c I only now stumbeled upon this thread. I must agree, I was pretty icked-out at the notion that "a femme always needs reassuring". I don't mean to personally criticize the OP, but IMO, that statement was rather a gigantic generalization, and not a very favorable one (although I don't necessarily think that was the intent of the OP). Just my two cents.

Now tell me you love me and that I'm pretty. ("Prettiest" would be even better ...)

Originally Posted by Dude

I realize this was posted a month ago but "A femme always needs reassuring"
is along the same lines as " butch's (and/or any gender id here) always need their ego stroked".

Both make me feel queezy and I'm surprised I'm the first to say anything.

True confidence to me, is an inside job.
Not to mention, "always needs reassuring" makes femme's sound weak ,frail, insecure ,brainless and quite exhausting to be with or around.

I hate the premise that any of us people here, are all the same.
The If you've done one, you've done them all mentality get's my goat
every time I see it.
I'm so not an expert on all things femme because fortunately they are all so different and that in itself is THE MOST fascinating thing (to me)

[DCStone]

I appreciate the thread and all of the comments. I know that as a Stone Butch, I like to feel appreciated. Also, being called sexy or hot is certainly fine by me. Sometimes I am in my head a bit too much and forget to say out loud what I am thinking when I see my girl. She is sexy and beautiful...and needs to hear that from me. Bottom-line...we could all probably use some stroking living in a world that can be very harsh towards those that look or seem different.

[Red Dirt Girl]

If you weren't a SB do you think you wouldn't still like to feel appreciated? I know I would!

Originally Posted by DCStone

I appreciate the thread and all of the comments. I know that as a Stone Butch, I like to feel appreciated. Also, being called sexy or hot is certainly fine by me. Sometimes I am in my head a bit too much and forget to say out loud what I am thinking when I see my girl. She is sexy and beautiful...and needs to hear that from me. Bottom-line...we could all probably use some stroking living in a world that can be very harsh towards those that look or seem different.

[DCStone]

Originally Posted by Red Dirt Girl

If you weren't a SB do you think you wouldn't still like to feel appreciated? I know I would!

Of course, I would still want to be appreciated even if I wasn't a Stone Butch. I think I could have written it differently. Thanks!