You Knew You Were a Femme When...

[lettertodaddy]

So. Where are these pictures anyway?

Not that I'm looking. Heavens no.

[Anastasia]

Originally Posted by lettertodaddy

So. Where are these pictures anyway?

Not that I'm looking. Heavens no.

I am telling you, I think the "Random Images" sidebar should be renamed, there is nothing random about it. It picks hot butches to show off. I swear.

All hotties, all the time. Random? Me thinks not.

[Sassy]

Originally Posted by Anastasia

I am telling you, I think the "Random Images" sidebar should be renamed, there is nothing random about it. It picks hot butches to show off. I swear.

All hotties, all the time. Random? Me thinks not.

Thanks you for this info and wanders off to find this thread ... Let the ogling begin

[Fancy]

I knew I was most comfortable in my own skin when.... I stopped giving a shit about the labels anyone else tried to identify me by.

[Julie]

Welcome to the Planet Anastasia...

I just want to say to you... Everybody has a very different experience coming out. For some people, they walk out and announce it to the world - for others, it is a long process. There is no right or wrong and you may never come out, and that is okay too. This is your journey, your personal journey and if you meet that amazing special butch who curls those toes of yours... Then it will be a joined journey between the two of you and you will figure it out together.

I do not believe there are answers. I believe it will simply be a knowing within yourself. Only you can know who you are inside (not the outside - that is just cosmetics) but the core of your being.

Again, welcome to the site - I hope you find your time here filled with comfort and safety. Here's to a lifelong of toe curling experiences. Ahem... (oh yes I understand).

Julie

[Nat]

I knew I was a femme when I began experimentally pushing myself toward masculine expression.

I knew I was a femme when I imagined a closet full of masculine clothes and found the idea depressing.

I knew I was a femme when I stopped trying to fit my idea of what a femme is - when I accepted and explored the entire spectrum of my gender experience.

I knew I was a femme the first time I heard Dorothy Allison interviewed.

I'm not really concentrating on my identity at the moment as much as i have in the past. I'm reminded often in the course of my life that I'm a femme - but as time goes on I think about it less and less. I shoot for natural, I shoot for authentic, I shoot for self-expression, I shoot for meaning - I stopped shooting for femme once I realized it was a quality I could neither disown nor deny nor could I chase it down. Still I relish the moments I'm recognized as a femme.

[Starbuck]

Hi Anastasia!

to BFP! You will find this to be a very supporting environment to come to as there are oodles of threads to read and discuss all sorts of issues.

I was very impressed with your honesty in your post, it brought back memories of when if when I first came out. See I am what you'd call a "late bloomer" as I didn't come out until the age of 38, married and all! Coming out to my husband was hard but thankfully I had two lesbian friends take me by the hand and teach me about the community...one is now my girlfriend I admit, I'd never just go out alone, that's just the kind of person I am.

I too had a terrible time with self identity. Growing up my parents could always get my brother and I the same toys; I played sports; I was in the Army; I do NOT wear dresses, but I will wear slacks and a nice shirt; I prefer jeans and a t-shirt although I'm starting to wear what my daughter calls "girlie shirts"; I'll wear eye make up on occasion; and I own lots of tools....so for the most part of my life I was a tom boy but now as an adult, I ID as a soft femme (soft meaning not girlie girl) and it's just who I am. We make our own identity, some call it a label, per se, because they don't want to be labeled, and that's okay too!

Anyway, I've rambled on long enough, I hope this helps you or someone else.