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#1 | ||
Infamous Member
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First Lady of the United SMH Join Date: Jan 2010
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![]() Quote:
it was very safe....infinitely predictable. now i feel like life is really chaotic and i go back and forth on whether that's a good thing Quote:
Portia DiRossi's book was the very best- the most honest about the aftermath of making the decision to recover. Other books either end just after the decision, or gloss over the things you desperately want to know, like "exactly how much will i gain?" Portia told all.
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#2 | |
Infamous Member
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i don't know where you are with this or how long you've been on your recovery journey. mine began 25 years ago and over those years i had to learn to accept this is a day by day thing, at times it will be moment by moment and sometimes even bite by bite. i confess that at the moment there are 2 bottles of recently purchased ipecac on the counter in my kitchen...also nothing new for me. From time to time (when stressed, struggling or going through some sort of dark times) i pick up a bottle or so. They will sit there until i feel that i no longer need them and then i will throw them away - unopened (well, unopened is the goal). We are by no means weak, oh no no no! We need to learn to rechannel the tremendous strength and self control/regulation that enable us to maintain those destructive behaviours. It doesn't happen overnight and takes a lot of work but it is possible. |
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#3 |
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Another favorite book of mine is Home Sick by Jenny Lauren, Ralph Lauren's niece. She developed permanent, very serious stomach problems. She used A LOT of Ipecac throughout her youth.
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#4 |
Infamous Member
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#5 |
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![]() i've been having a really bad week.. i've been hard on myself, and that's why i've been offline, until things improve.. i'm having a very hard time getting myself back into a healthy headspace about this, it's so easy to want to fall back to old habits.. So right now, my time offline has been about using my tools and resources and getting myself back on track.. It all went downhill from gaining the 4 lbs back - i swear this is the toughest struggle of my entire life.. i was repped last week (i just seen it tonight) and it said "No beating yourself..... falling on your face is still moving forward!" - how true is that? so i'm writing it down and i'm pinning it up in a few places, on my bedroom mirror, on my refrigerator and a few places i look often - i need to remember this! (thank you Inked Trinity for that) .. --- i have been attending meetings everyday - & just want to extend a huge thank you to those of you sharing in this thread but also those of you who have repped and messaged me privately - it's sooo appreciated.. i really, really need this, so much, it not only helps me to understand my own crazy emotions, but also helps me and motivates me to stop my self destructive behaviours.. i have to believe i can do this & need to get back on track!
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my Mantra: i am letting go of angers, continuing to find forgiveness, welcoming inner peace & deserving of it all. my facebook weight loss page:
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#6 | |
Senior Member
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it's funny how i can build myself up for so long, and then downspiral SO quick... i can do this too - ((((dc)))), i would love to read Portia's book as well, think that will be my next book purchase, actually! thanks for suggesting that, i remember seeing it on Ellen one day... ((((Jenn)))) thank you for your book suggestions too! i soo need to action buying them, the more resources the better! and i know your read suggestions rock! ((((Miss Scarlett)))) i am so understanding when you said the hardest thing for you to understand is that this will be with you forever... i struggle with that the most, i know this will be a lifetime commitment... And reading your words, rang true for me, the thinning hair, the enamel on your teeth, brittle nails.. i have a very hard time eating in public, even today.. i dont like people watching me eat, unless they are people in my comfort zone, like close family, a partner, etc.. what i need to work on - forgiving myself..and moving forward and trying again!
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my Mantra: i am letting go of angers, continuing to find forgiveness, welcoming inner peace & deserving of it all. my facebook weight loss page:
http://www.facebook.com/asyllyjourney |
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#7 | |
Infamous Member
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(((((sylvie))))) Punkin you can PM me any time you need to talk.
BTW - cry...it's not silly and in fact i highly recommend it. Quote:
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#8 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Mr Mtn's babygirl Preferred Pronoun?:
girly, she Relationship Status:
fiercely protected ♥ Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Moving home in OR with Him VERY soooon !!
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thank You so much Miss Scarlett, i am going to PM you right now before i sign off for the night!! i've been dying to get in here and catch up with this thread, thank you again! ♥
__________________
my Mantra: i am letting go of angers, continuing to find forgiveness, welcoming inner peace & deserving of it all. my facebook weight loss page:
http://www.facebook.com/asyllyjourney |
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Tags |
binge, bulemia, eating disorders, food addictions, purge |
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