PTSD and Trauma recovery

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Softly

Thought i'd finally chime in here.

I am diagnosed with PTSD, Depression, and also Bipolar
I am in therapy and on medication, which are both working beautifully together. I also attend a BP support group when I can, and I have a support system in my reach, including my wonderful partner, so I am in good hands all around.

I don't want to go into too much detail other than my diagnosis comes from years of sexual abuse from my step-father and mental/physical abuse from my mother. I didn't tell anyone until a few years ago. My mother took my step-fathers side in regards to the abuse even after he admitted it and left me and my sister behind. I never spoke to her again. it's been a little over 3 years. My sister, of course, is by my side and we are family and will always stick together. she and I are the only family we have now and it's alright because my mother was/is a poisenous person and I would her rather not be in my life.

I am happy now. so happy. and I encourage therapy for anyone who has to go through the ups and downs and the emotional rollercoasters. keep yourself around GOOD positive people and influences. keep positive, as much as you can.

xoxo to all of you. I want to say I LOVE YOU because I feel connected to each of your stories, but that's a bit much, don't ya think? lol

I HEART YOU ALL xoxo

All the best in your journey to recovery and stability.

[Jet]

I am also still on my recovery journey. And the rule of thumb for me and also reiterated by one of my
best friends, who is a psychotherapist, is that I have to "feel the feelings" as I move through my trauma. In my case, I suffer
from something closer to shell shock. The worst part of this is being in what I call my emotional "shock lock." This means that I have to stay
focused on relieving shock in my sternum/heart area by remembering and purging the event in chunks and pieces as they come up.

A long, difficult process. I'm so over this, I can't tell you. This thing has ruled and damn near killed and ruined my life.
Just when I think I have done enough work, it goes deeper or something else surfaces.
I wonder how many endings this thing will have before it's over. lol

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Amelia

Frisky!!!

Just remember that there's gonna be days when you feel like you took two steps forward and three back. Dont focus on the mistake beat yourself up thoughts, but make it the oops try better next time thought. Give yourself some leeway and forgiveness that nothing happened to you in the past all overnight... and so this too don't expect immediate permanent changes overnight. Realizing is awesome and the first step. Just don't forget we are all still here to be supportive on those days when you get overwhelmed or are being hard on yourself. Everyone has a day when they think screw this its too hard/painful ect....

When I think of it as changing habits I think I am more able to act/think like I want to... and not act/think like I used to before I realized I needed to change. And I allow myself to backslip when I do... and accept its just a speed bump and not a huge wall of "no hope". Less pressure for me tends to help me be more successful in recovering.

This is a very valuable truth, Amelia, and thank you for saying it.

My issues stem from years and years of abuse.....literally, a decade's worth. So, there's no way, no matter what methods I use to try to come to grips with it and to recover from it, that it's going to happen within a small span of time.

What is it that they say about relationships, when they break up? It takes twice the length of the relationship to 'get over' your ex? If it takes twice the length of time for what someone may assume is a healthy relationship (for the majority of it, before the demise began), then how long could one reasonably assume would be a good time frame to recover from a completely unhealthy (and assumingly, unwanted) relationship? What about the likelihood that there were more than just one unhealthy relationships going on simultaneously? I know my relationship with my mother wasn't particularly healthy to begin with but add in the abuse from step-daddy-dearest and now what? How much time does each additional negative relationship add on?

I began putting myself back together after I extricated myself from BOTH relationships (making a ton of mistakes along the way, since it was me, myself and I going the path) when I was 19. Double that. 38. I'm not there yet and that would not be taking the residual, rippling effects caused by a single negative and harmful relationship into consideration.

*shakes head*

I am just flabbergasted by those who think it's easy to get over this shit.

Gobsmacked, even.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Gemme,

Yes I agree with you. I am offended and insulted when the folks who say "so what" like it is no big deal. Or come back with some rude remark about my past after digging for information. I had no idea that my life was to be an open book for everyone to read and judge. I think until you have someone holding a knife at your throat you will never understand.

[Canela]

I was a major depressant (clinically depressed) for almost 25 years. I tried all types of drugs and alcohol to self medicate the pain and abuse I endured as a child, teen and adult. I learned much later, that I chose the same type of people because it was old and familiar and the abuse which I hated but knew all too well was comfortable. Made me feel like home. Crazy huh? I had to find a way out of that vicious cycle when I had my children, thinking I could change their outcome. We have had to fight those struggles together, my children and I, but I thank God everyday that we have hope. It was hard, is hard somedays more than others. But we stand and fight most days. I wish I could say that I NEVER get depressed anymore but that would be a lie. I can tell you that I don't stay depressed, and that it has been such a relief to deal with things sober. It was not hard to give up the drugs and alcohol. It was harder to give up the thought processes, habits and hurts that kept me imprisoned in my own mind with that pain. It has no hold on me anymore, Praise God! And now I try to do my part to help others have hope, too. God bless you and heal you all!

[DELSDAUGHTER]

Originally Posted by LittleShug

I was a major depressant (clinically depressed) for almost 25 years. I tried all types of drugs and alcohol to self medicate the pain and abuse I endured as a child, teen and adult. I learned much later, that I chose the same type of people because it was old and familiar and the abuse which I hated but knew all too well was comfortable. Made me feel like home. Crazy huh? I had to find a way out of that vicious cycle when I had my children, thinking I could change their outcome. We have had to fight those struggles together, my children and I, but I thank God everyday that we have hope. It was hard, is hard somedays more than others. But we stand and fight most days. I wish I could say that I NEVER get depressed anymore but that would be a lie. I can tell you that I don't stay depressed, and that it has been such a relief to deal with things sober. It was not hard to give up the drugs and alcohol. It was harder to give up the thought processes, habits and hurts that kept me imprisoned in my own mind with that pain. It has no hold on me anymore, Praise God! And now I try to do my part to help others have hope, too. God bless you and heal you all!

no its not crazy at all, what you said. I have met several people in my life that repeat the same choices and gravitate to the same type of people because it felt like the "norm" I had two very special people walk out of my life because things were "too good" My therapist said it was because it was not what they were used to ,having grown up in dysfunctional households and years of abuse. They said i was too good to them....
i appreciate the insight you have given me...

[Andrew, Jr.]

This shit is not easy to get over. Not by a long shot. We can deal with it, and have a decent life. But we really never get over it. I know for me, and my perspective - I can hardly wait for my bio-father to die. All he has shown me is everything the opposite of what unconditional love it. And that my friends is not what life is about.

[Canela]

Originally Posted by DELSDAUGHTER

no its not crazy at all, what you said. I have met several people in my life that repeat the same choices and gravitate to the same type of people because it felt like the "norm" I had two very special people walk out of my life because things were "too good" My therapist said it was because it was not what they were used to ,having grown up in dysfunctional households and years of abuse. They said i was too good to them....
i appreciate the insight you have given me...

Thank you DELSDAUGHTER and yes, it's like being conditioned by dysfunctional upbringing or experiences, you're always looking for that dysfunction to manifest itself SOMEWHERE in ANY and/or every area of your life...life, love, work, social, everywhere....no area off limits...

For me--I learned through God and ALL HIS GOODNESS that I didn't have to STAY in that mindset. (Therapy helped too, but not like prayer and faith.) You have to want it (change) I guess, you have to make a conscious (SP) effort to change our habits, our mode of thinking, our paranoia for instance, that keeps us thinking it's ALWAYS going to be like that, with EVERYONE. I read something here along the lines of 'since they'd never had a healthy, non-dysfunctional family, it was a foreign concept to experience one in their lives, via someone else. It was the same way for ME.

Thankfully, we have ALL learned to find a way out of the pain and abuse, and are on our way to healing, praise God! I see that in the posts I have read where we share our pain and experiences and then share how we are surviving. I have a saying, "everyday I open my eyes, I have another day to do something better than I did the day before". This saying is a part of what motivates me to keep going. That and the responsibility of being a mom and having someone needing me to be there, healthy and whole...and I plan to be. One day. If not, I hold on to the hope that I will continue on a pathway to healing and surviving more and more everyday. That this goal is attainable, and that it is a lifelong commitment that this commitment-phobe (that should say something)...lol...fully intends to keep.

I'm sure it's that way with all of us here, if we look, there's always some reasoning behind the motivation [survival] that gets us to sit up, prioritize ourselves and make a plan and decide to implement it, for our own best self. I'm rooting(sp)/praying for each and everyone of us to get to a healthy space in our hearts and lives through whatever means works for each of us.

Love and blessings to you!