So what does being Bisexual, mean to you ?

[SecretAgentMa'am]

Originally Posted by betenoire

It's totally irrational and I know that now, but I really believed for a long time that everybody is bisexual. I got over it a few years ago, but there you have it.

Me, too. I think most people who are bisexual go through a period of that. My personal theory is that we all need to feel like we're not alone, and so we try to convince ourselves and everyone around us that we're *really* in the majority, even though it looks like we're not.

My "almost everyone is bi" phase started after I learned about the Kinsey Scale. I figured that there were a very small percentage of people who were actually a Kinsey 0 or a Kinsey 6, and every single point between, from 0.01 to 5.99, meant that the person was bisexual, whether they were willing to admit to it or not. Hell, I thought if a woman who identified as a lesbian had ever even so much as kissed a man and not been totally grossed out by it, then that woman was actually bisexual. Thankfully, that phase was a long time ago and really short lived.

Now the truth: I am more sexually attracted to men than I am to women. However, I am more emotionally attracted to women than I am to men. So it's complicated. It's really complicated.

Me too, sometimes. I'll barely even think about men sexually for days or weeks at a time, then suddenly start practically drooling over every cute boy I pass on the street. I think I might be more attracted to men when I'm ovulating or something, but I don't have a period anymore, so I don't really know when I'm ovulating to be able to pay attention and track it. My sexual attraction to women other than my wife is less intense, but a lot more steady.

I have slept with more women than men. Not a tonne more, but more. I haven't had a "relationship" with a man since I was in freaking HIGHSCHOOL, but I clearly have slept with them since then. Since adulthood all of my "steadies" have been women. Probably I'm better at having actual relationships with women than with men because I just in general find women better company. Or possibly it's just turned out that way because I know way more women than I know men.

I'm exactly the opposite here. I've been with *way* more men. Like, literally 5 times as many. Mostly because men are so much easier. Not to have relationships with (my romantic relationships with men were almost always difficult and not very satisfying emotionally), but when I just wanted to have some no-strings sex when I was single. If I was in the mood but not in a relationship, I had no women I knew that I could call and I was never even once successful at picking someone up in a bar. I had at least half a dozen male friends, though, who I could call and they'd come right over. So easy.

I would never cheat. That's not to say I'm perfect - I'm not. Do I think dirty thoughts about people other than my spouse? You're damn right I do! I don't think that's bad or abnormal so long as I never -do- anything about it - and of course I wouldn't.

I agree. I think it's human nature to look and fantasize, and I don't see any problem with that.

(By the way: I irrationally for no particular reason hate the word "pansexual". (Possibly because it has the word pan in it and I don't find that sexy at all.) I prefer the word bisexual because average people freaking know what it means, so why complicate things by not speaking in a language that people around you can understand?)

Me too, but I have a reason. I'm not saying that this is true of everyone who IDs as pansexual, but I've heard several different explanations from different people about how it differs from bisexuality. Every explanation I've heard has been some variation on either "I'm sexually attracted to people of multiple genders, but I don't want to be associated with those dirty bisexuals" or "I'm sexually attracted to men and women, and even those weird trans people who don't actually count as men or women. See how accepting and progressive I am?" which I find to be incredibly transphobic. I've also been told that the term bisexual supports the gender binary by saying that there are only two genders. I don't think that's the case at all.

Homosexual: Attracted to those who are the same as you
Heterosexual: Attracted to those who are different from you
Bisexual: Attracted to those who are both the same and different. This could be any number of gender variations.

[betenoire]

Originally Posted by SecretAgentMa'am

I've also been told that the term bisexual supports the gender binary by saying that there are only two genders. I don't think that's the case at all.

Right, exactly. The "well you know there are more than two genders so that's why I am not bisexual!" partyline has always rubbed me the wrong way. Like they're explaining something to me that they presume is news to me.