BBW ??? - Qualifications

[Scrappy L'il Southpaw]

Originally Posted by LaneyDoll

... I prefer the term "dangerously curvy."

I love that... dangerously curvy! Cheers to a fab term!!!

Originally Posted by suebee

When I was cyber-dating I described myself as a BBW, and my brother (of all people lol) told me that I didn't fit in that category. ...

Personally I consider myself to be fluffy.

I have a friend who also says she is fluffy. You definitely captured part of my point. Your brother telling you, you don't fit that category... We are labelled and classified in all areas of our life. It's nice to have a positive term to help with describing yourself but when it means different things to different people, including yourself, it's not as useful.

Originally Posted by ScandalAndy

In my defense, I did say that I was probably wearing my judgy pants and needed to examine that. In my personal experience I can find lots of clothes in your size, but I'm probably looking in different places.

Nobody has told you that you "don't qualify here", I was solely stating how I felt about it at the time. I still got nasty comments as a 12/14 when I was 15 years old, so I'm not really interested in excluding anyone. Mean words hurt no matter what size you are. If you feel like a BBW then by all means please claim it. We need all the support and visibility we can get.

Thank you.

Originally Posted by SecretAgentMa'am

And there you have it. As a size 16, I'm plenty fat enough to have a hard time finding clothes (most regular stores don't carry my size, and neither do most plus size stores), more than fat enough to have complete strangers make nasty comments to be about my weight, definitely fat enough to have doctors dismiss just about every physical problem I have as weight related and tell me to lose weight instead of actually treating me, but not fat enough to qualify here.

SecretAgent (now the song is stuck in my head) - no one is telling you who or what you are. When I started the thread, I asked people's opinions and they are very graciously sharing them. After reading and re-reading, I do not believe them to be directed at you. You do seem to have a similar inquiry to my own as to what makes a BBW. I have also wondered if it is simply a self classification because for some it seems to be.

I find myself to be a 'tweener when it comes to clothes. Plus sizes are out and the regular stuff does not fit quite right. I had a friend who was heavy into fashion. Her recommendation was when I find something that fits and complements me, continue to shop amongst that same BRAND or manufacturer. Their cuts and styles seem to stay similar and creates greater success when buying clothes. I've had a lot of success with Cato's if you have any of those stores in your area. Macy's too but they can be pricey unless they're having a good sale. (All this fashion talk, I think we lost the bois!)

Any stranger that is going to make nasty comments to you or loudly enough for you to hear about your weight is a person living a very sad and bitter life and is only finding pieces of pleasure or release by being cruel to someone else. Chick, square your shoulders, stare them down, and dare them to keep it up. It will quickly stop when they can't pull you down with their nastiness. My heart goes out to you that you have had to experience that.
As for doctors, shop around until you find one you are comfortable with. Healthcare is too intimate, expensive, and important to stay with a doc that you don't think believes you or believes in you. If the doc is SO insistent about your weight, what can he or she do to help you? What resources can the doc's office provide? Ask the questions and talk to them. They are doctors, humans, and not omnipotent, omniscient higher beings.

Chin up and call yourself what you believe or want yourself to be.

[SecretAgentMa'am]

Amazingly enough, I'm actually a grown woman and don't need lectures about how to shop for clothes or find a doctor. I've been doing all those things since I was 12 years old. I'm also entirely aware that bullies aren't my friends.

I'm also aware that the previous comments weren't directed at me. They still applied to me, and were still hurtful.

[Scrappy L'il Southpaw]

Originally Posted by SecretAgentMa'am

Amazingly enough, I'm actually a grown woman and don't need lectures about how to shop for clothes or find a doctor. I've been doing all those things since I was 12 years old. I'm also entirely aware that bullies aren't my friends.

I'm also aware that the previous comments weren't directed at me. They still applied to me, and were still hurtful.

Point taken.

Lectures were not the intent and I'm sorry you interpreted my words in that manner. My only intent was to offer some experiences, from my adult life, that have been beneficial for me and some positive encouragement.

That's it.

[msW8ing]

Personally I adore being a BBW. I was never "thin" I've always been a big girl. But I loved it in my young years I was such a tom boy that it didn't hinder any aspect of my life. I had lots of friends and was extremely active. In my 20's I worked out..dropped weight..became societies definition of sexy..I didn't care for that..those who approached me did so because of my looks..honestly now being a BBW..I get approached because of who I am..not how I look..I carry myself with pride..shoulders back..head high..just like my grams taught me..tall and strong..I'd rather shrink a few inches in height than my waist honestly. I'm more self conscious about my height. My friends/family love me for whats inside..my mind, heart and soul. Sorry for the derail..back to the subject..imho "qualifications" of a BBW has changed over the years..I recall when anyone over a size 10 was considered a BBW..now it's anyone over a size 16. I really think there are as many definitions as there are people with opinions on the subject. Just my .02 cents.

[sarahwho]

I think or in my opinion here....

BBW - Big Breasted Women or Big Beautiful Women is the "politically correct" definition of what it originally started out as....

I personally find labels offensive. In life's "society's view", I am either a bbw or ssbbw (aka super sized bbw), because I think the society's view is the sizing equals bbw is 18-1x (possibly), and if ya wear over a 1x, then some how they can categorize you as a ssbbw. So I haven't reduced "enough" yet (trying) to get back down to the next "label".

I find most (don't find offense) "males, ftm's, transpeople" that are big yummy! Other sizes too....just saying.

I don't label myself, because I am "me" - I'd like to say I am comfortable in my own body, but due to society's "standards" I find myself lacking at times. It can be heart breaking to me although, because it's not just the "males" of society, but also the "females" that tend to judge due to size. I am beautiful in my own way, but INSIDE! I don't need to show off to the world as a model....I have morals and codes on how to and how not to treat others....if only society would take those as a sacred way to live and act, there would be more acceptance everywhere!

I don't want to be "barbie doll" size, but close....lol.

[smouldering]

I have always been called a BBW because it seems to be the label that is put on me, I am 5'7 and very curvy, I can be a bit self conscious at times because when I was younger I was bullied for being on the bigger side, despite the fact I played many sports and was very active in the Girl Scouts and all the activities, I've always been a bit on the fuller side, It took me a long time to get to where I am today, I still have my moments but for the most part I am okay with myself, I carry myself well, my head held high and with as much confidence as I can muster.
I am honestly not bothered with labels, fat, curvy, voluptuous, its all good

[aishah]

i find the "what qualifies as bbw" conversation really interesting especially because of how it's classified with regards to porn and the fetish community...i had this discussion with some other sex workers recently. there's a line between curvy/bbw/ssbbw but no one's exactly sure where it falls.

my understanding is something along the lines of curvy is big hips/ass/tits but not a lot of stomach - the 'higher' end of 'normal' on the bmi scale (which i hate, but it's semi-useful for understanding how other people classify us as fat folks). bbw tends to be 'overweight' on bmi scale. ssbbw tends to fall farther into the 'obese' range. so when i weighed 240-250 i was bordering on ssbbw. now (at 215) i'm firmly in the bbw range. if i lost about 40-60 more lbs i'd probably be in the curvy range. the highest size i've worn was a 22/2x, now i usually wear an 18 (or a 20 in jeans) and xl-1x.

it's really confusing because i know a lot of sex workers who id as bbw for the sake of appealing to niche customers but aren't really considered bbw by fetishists as they aren't big enough. and breast/ass size plays into it a lot...having smaller breasts but a bigger stomach is more likely to get you classified as a bbw by others regardless of your actual weight.

personally i'm not a huge fan of bbw as a label for myself but it gets put on me a lot. i associate it with being fetishized and while i'm okay with that when i'm getting paid for it, it's not something i enjoy privately (although i know there are plenty of bbws who do, and that's cool). i tend to date people who prefer or at least like big women because i love my body and i have no desire to change it (so i am not getting involved w/someone who thinks i'm a fixer upper), but i won't date people who are into me primarily/solely because of my body size. i prefer terms like thick, curvy, voluptuous, fat, etc. when describing myself.