Single Butches & Femmes Cafe

msW8ing · 10-08-2011, 03:00 AM

ruthie I feel your pain..I'm into Old School Dykes and they are a rare breed for sure. Almost extinct I fear. But I hold hope.

alphadaddy · 10-08-2011, 03:30 AM

we're still here although at times would want to be invisible or hide behind a disquise that allows us to belong nonetheless we are still here

ScandalAndy · 10-08-2011, 06:18 AM

Thank you all for your responses!! I feel like I'm in a city where everyone looks the same. Because I do not, I often feel shunned. The butch types all wear their fitted caps sideways and look like hipsters, the femmes all have long hair that they flat iron, and look like hipsters. Granted, these are the 21-30 year olds that I see out. I'm a big old pinup femme and that is totally different from them. Unfortch there aren't any butches to counter that style, so sometimes I get discouraged.

Anya/MsW8ing: On the flip side of that coin, a lot of older butches won't date me because I am "so young".

So there are defs butch types that are looking for you ladies that I haven't got a chance with.

I find myself having difficulty making friends with femmes around my age because we like the same people. For instance I just found out that the same girl has been flirting with me and one of my friends that goes to college here. Luckily my friend is awesome and we were able to talk about this like adults, but i've had bad experiences where sometimes a girl will stab me in the back to get the butch to like her.

For the record, everyone at BFP has been wonderful and friendly and accepting to me, even the butches who told me I was too young were quite gentle about it.

AtLast · 10-08-2011, 07:22 AM

But, 'cept we are out here- more old school butches (yet very much appreciate youthful ideas and know other generations are forming their futures- had my chance to do so, now it is theirs), that is. LOL, but, I am ancient and simply at a point in my life in which where someone is in terms of their working life matters. Close to or at retirement, or semi-retirement is on my list of "essentials."

It is hard to meet "special" people throughout life, I believe. But also for someone my age, most have had the "love of their life" and have "divorced" after many years or their partner has died.

And I am not an old grumpy butch ready to kick it in. I like to think I am still viable and can turn a few femme heads... ;?).... Recently, I have become much more hopeful about possible romance again. You nevah' know!

Inuus · 10-08-2011, 07:40 AM

It's interesting how things are depending on where you live. My experience here in rural Oklahoma is that a lot of the women whether straight, gay or unknown dress more on the butch side. What I mean is it's not unusual to see women dressed as if they are or have been working on the ranch. I personally have not met any femmes here...although there is NO community to speak of in this town or area so ..well they could be around but it would be hard to tell.

msW8ing · 10-08-2011, 12:40 PM

It is interesting on how a region can be so different from another. When I lived in Nebraska the Butch/Dyke ratio to femme was like 3 to 1. It was wonderful for a femme. lol...but here in Phoenix it seems the opposite. I mean there are Dyke/Butch here..but..at my age and then to add I prefer older..they are either coupled or at that point in their life they don't want to date. I've tried dating younger to but the ones I've personally met are just not mature. And they lack the most awesome qualities of the Old School Dykes that make my head spin and my knees weak. And they most definitely do not have that "swagger". *sigh*

ArkansasPiscesGrrl · 10-08-2011, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Inuus

It's interesting how things are depending on where you live. My experience here in rural Oklahoma is that a lot of the women whether straight, gay or unknown dress more on the butch side. What I mean is it's not unusual to see women dressed as if they are or have been working on the ranch. I personally have not met any femmes here...although there is NO community to speak of in this town or area so ..well they could be around but it would be hard to tell.

I find the same thing here in Arkansas. I will see someone at the store, for example, wearing what ==I== would consider more "butch" attire, but oftentimes it is just a more 'country' look from straight women.

As for women being dressed "as if they are or have been working on the ranch" not "looking" like a femme, I have a question... I know there has been stuff on other threads about what being a femme means... I know with every cell of my being I AM a femme. Do I look the part of the magazine-cover femme? (is there one?). Nope, I don't. My preferred outfit each day is shorts or jeans and a t-shirt. I have short, spikey hair cause it lets me feel like I can have an ATTITUDE that kicks ass. And at the age of 59, I need all the 'tude I can get! I don't know, maybe I really AM more androgynous in looks, who cares? I think for ME, the important thing is what is inside, how I alone identify ME. I know that the ME of me is soft, loving, caring, eager to please, nurturing, bawdy, sensitive, and lots of other really cool things. AND I love football and fishing!

Maybe this issue here is the fact that it is sometimes hard to pinpoint whether someone is actually butch or femme (or gay for that matter!), and therefore harder to know whether one can approach or view the other as a possible mate. I know for me, my gaydar is all out of whack!

I also have a problem sometimes with thinking that all the butch women that are out there are going to be too young for me. My partners have all been younger than me from between 9-13 yrs younger. The 13 yr difference was really pushing it, but maybe it was just her.

Inuus · 10-08-2011, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArkansasPiscesGrrl

I find the same thing here in Arkansas. I will see someone at the store, for example, wearing what ==I== would consider more "butch" attire, but oftentimes it is just a more 'country' look from straight women.

As for women being dressed "as if they are or have been working on the ranch" not "looking" like a femme, I have a question... I know there has been stuff on other threads about what being a femme means... I know with every cell of my being I AM a femme. Do I look the part of the magazine-cover femme? (is there one?). Nope, I don't. My preferred outfit each day is shorts or jeans and a t-shirt. I have short, spikey hair cause it lets me feel like I can have an ATTITUDE that kicks ass. And at the age of 59, I need all the 'tude I can get! I don't know, maybe I really AM more androgynous in looks, who cares? I think for ME, the important thing is what is inside, how I alone identify ME. I know that the ME of me is soft, loving, caring, eager to please, nurturing, bawdy, sensitive, and lots of other really cool things. AND I love football and fishing!

Maybe this issue here is the fact that it is sometimes hard to pinpoint whether someone is actually butch or femme (or gay for that matter!), and therefore harder to know whether one can approach or view the other as a possible mate. I know for me, my gaydar is all out of whack!

I also have a problem sometimes with thinking that all the butch women that are out there are going to be too young for me. My partners have all been younger than me from between 9-13 yrs younger. The 13 yr difference was really pushing it, but maybe it was just her.

I dont think I expressed myself correctly in my post, I must apologize for the confusion.

When I was posting about women looking like they worked on a ranch etc. I didnt mean that wasnt femme because trust me some of these women did look femme. Femme, to me anyways, is the way one carries themselves not defined as a "look" or what she happens to be wearing at the time.

With that being said, I guess the point I was trying to make was there are women here my gaydar(which also seems to have worn out over the years) isn't sure about and in most cases I dont even give it a second thought believing most likely they are straight women who own/work on ranches.

For what it's worth you sound like a lovely woman and it doesnt hurt, actually its a plus in my book, you like football and fishing.

Sweet_Amor_Taino · 01-23-2012, 12:30 PM

I could have not expressed it any better I agree ! I would like a femme who has or is close to retirement so we could enjoy time and travel together and not worry about showing up everydsay and the coorperative ladder.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AtLast

But, 'cept we are out here- more old school butches (yet very much appreciate youthful ideas and know other generations are forming their futures- had my chance to do so, now it is theirs), that is. LOL, but, I am ancient and simply at a point in my life in which where someone is in terms of their working life matters. Close to or at retirement, or semi-retirement is on my list of "essentials."

It is hard to meet "special" people throughout life, I believe. But also for someone my age, most have had the "love of their life" and have "divorced" after many years or their partner has died.

And I am not an old grumpy butch ready to kick it in. I like to think I am still viable and can turn a few femme heads... ;?).... Recently, I have become much more hopeful about possible romance again. You nevah' know!

10-08-2011, 03:00 AM	#1
msW8ing Member How Do You Identify?: multi-faceted gem, femme, submissive babygirl if the chemistry is there. Preferred Pronoun?: lady Relationship Status: working on myself Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Lewiston, Idaho Posts: 920 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,700 Thanked 2,497 Times in 654 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	ruthie I feel your pain..I'm into Old School Dykes and they are a rare breed for sure. Almost extinct I fear. But I hold hope. __________________ *Don't judge me by my past..I don't live there anymore* A lady who knows the ropes..will never be bound. ~Mae West

10-08-2011, 06:18 AM	#3
ScandalAndy Member How Do You Identify?: human femme spitfire Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: it's official! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: east coast USA Posts: 1,167 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,758 Thanked 3,217 Times in 753 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Thank you all for your responses!! I feel like I'm in a city where everyone looks the same. Because I do not, I often feel shunned. The butch types all wear their fitted caps sideways and look like hipsters, the femmes all have long hair that they flat iron, and look like hipsters. Granted, these are the 21-30 year olds that I see out. I'm a big old pinup femme and that is totally different from them. Unfortch there aren't any butches to counter that style, so sometimes I get discouraged. Anya/MsW8ing: On the flip side of that coin, a lot of older butches won't date me because I am "so young". So there are defs butch types that are looking for you ladies that I haven't got a chance with. I find myself having difficulty making friends with femmes around my age because we like the same people. For instance I just found out that the same girl has been flirting with me and one of my friends that goes to college here. Luckily my friend is awesome and we were able to talk about this like adults, but i've had bad experiences where sometimes a girl will stab me in the back to get the butch to like her. For the record, everyone at BFP has been wonderful and friendly and accepting to me, even the butches who told me I was too young were quite gentle about it. __________________ The joy of discovery is certainly the liveliest that the mind of man can ever feel. - Claude Bernard (1813-78)

10-08-2011, 07:40 AM	#5
Inuus Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: She/Her Relationship Status: Single Not Looking Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 265 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 242 Thanked 377 Times in 143 Posts Rep Power: 3733068	It's interesting how things are depending on where you live. My experience here in rural Oklahoma is that a lot of the women whether straight, gay or unknown dress more on the butch side. What I mean is it's not unusual to see women dressed as if they are or have been working on the ranch. I personally have not met any femmes here...although there is NO community to speak of in this town or area so ..well they could be around but it would be hard to tell. __________________ “Kindness and compassion toward all living things is the mark of a civilized society.”- Cesar Chavez

10-08-2011, 12:40 PM	#6
msW8ing Member How Do You Identify?: multi-faceted gem, femme, submissive babygirl if the chemistry is there. Preferred Pronoun?: lady Relationship Status: working on myself Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Lewiston, Idaho Posts: 920 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,700 Thanked 2,497 Times in 654 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	It is interesting on how a region can be so different from another. When I lived in Nebraska the Butch/Dyke ratio to femme was like 3 to 1. It was wonderful for a femme. lol...but here in Phoenix it seems the opposite. I mean there are Dyke/Butch here..but..at my age and then to add I prefer older..they are either coupled or at that point in their life they don't want to date. I've tried dating younger to but the ones I've personally met are just not mature. And they lack the most awesome qualities of the Old School Dykes that make my head spin and my knees weak. And they most definitely do not have that "swagger". sigh __________________ *Don't judge me by my past..I don't live there anymore* A lady who knows the ropes..will never be bound. ~Mae West

10-08-2011, 03:30 AM	#2
alphadaddy Timed Out How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: hy syr daddie Relationship Status: FUCKED Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: NO LONGER Posts: 58 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26 Thanked 72 Times in 26 Posts Rep Power: 0	we're still here although at times would want to be invisible or hide behind a disquise that allows us to belong nonetheless we are still here

10-08-2011, 07:22 AM	#4
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,827 Times in 3,199 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	But, 'cept we are out here- more old school butches (yet very much appreciate youthful ideas and know other generations are forming their futures- had my chance to do so, now it is theirs), that is. LOL, but, I am ancient and simply at a point in my life in which where someone is in terms of their working life matters. Close to or at retirement, or semi-retirement is on my list of "essentials." It is hard to meet "special" people throughout life, I believe. But also for someone my age, most have had the "love of their life" and have "divorced" after many years or their partner has died. And I am not an old grumpy butch ready to kick it in. I like to think I am still viable and can turn a few femme heads... ;?).... Recently, I have become much more hopeful about possible romance again. You nevah' know!