Loving a Transman Isn't Easy

[Soon]

Originally Posted by julieisafemme

I am so sorry to hear that so many people have had bad experiences in these groups. The group I attended was a facilitated group led by a therapist. It was small and you had to pay. We met once a month. There were only non- trans partners allowed. I would not want to participate in an online support group. I have too much trouble figuring things out and would surely say something that would piss people off. That does not happen in person. The group I was in was the only one like it. I have participated in other non-facilitated support groups before for OCD and those did not go well for me. I think maybe sometimes it helps to have a facilitator in difficult conversations. I am so sorry that so many other partners have experienced this.

I am glad you found a group to attend in real life and with a therapist--you are lucky.

I think it is safe to assume that most of us live in areas where we, unfortunately, don't have access to such groups and the only resources/forums are online.

I'm envious that you live in a area that is progressive and has multiple options for those who are trans and their partners, but, of course, also happy for you in that you have such resources that work for you.

[julieisafemme]

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow

I am glad you found a group to attend in real life and with a therapist--you are lucky.

I think it is safe to assume that most of us live in areas where we, unfortunately, don't have access to such groups and the only resources/forums are online.

I'm envious that you live in a area that is progressive and has multiple options for those who are trans and their partners, but, of course, also happy for you in that you have such resources that work for you.

I live in an area with lots of resources for transpeople. That does not seem to translate to partners! The way I found about this group was by meeting the therapist in Seattle when we went to Gender Odyssey. She is married to a Transman who is not out. So I think even here there are not multiple options for partners. That seems crazy to me and that is why I am focused on partners speaking up and creating what we need. The group I was in was small too. It seems like there must be more partners who would want to be in it.

Anyone who is interested in the therapists name and e-mail. She might be able to suggest someone or some place in other areas.

I am really upset to hear that so many groups allow transpeople in them. That makes it impossible to have an honest conversation. Partners need a space with other partners. Period. There is nothing transphobic about that.

[Quintease]

I've just had a thought.

There are FTM groups all over Facebook, my husband is on about 3 of them. Are there equivalent ones for partners on Facebook? Should there be? If not, why not?

Should we start one?

[Linus]

Originally Posted by Quintease

I've just had a thought.

There are FTM groups all over Facebook, my husband is on about 3 of them. Are there equivalent ones for partners on Facebook? Should there be? If not, why not?

Should we start one?

There are some "SOFFA" groups out there (here's one I found, not sure how good: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=190034887698 ).

It may be worthwhile to create one that's for partners/family of transmen, specifically those within the BF community.