Letting Go Of Friendships

[Passionaria]

Have I ever held a grudge?
Yes, sigh, but I do know it hurts me too. I have noticed though that the older I get, and through accepting my own mistakes, the more compassion I feel for the human delima. Life is so messy.

Have I ever let go of a friendship?
Yes. I am very picky about who is in my inner circle. I'm not attracted to negative, or cold people, or malicious. Once I see a person does not mean me well, or I find they gossip about me behind my back when they can't be honest to my face, I'm done. I just walk away. With a loss of respect.

I have some very old friends who's behavior works my last nerve sometimes and I have walked away from them for periods of time. But, if the bond is strong I usually take them back into my heart, and don't expect them to be what they are not. Sometimes when you are really someones friend you have to love the good and bad in them, and see it for what it's worth. The question then becomes is it worth it? And often it is, occasionally it's not.

Have I ever lost a friend?
Just once, and I was crushed. We did a lot of talking about what my mistakes were, and I made some. We never did address their part in it, with complete candor or disclosure though. I did learn a big lesson by the experience; when to shut my **** mouth. Emotional roller coaster rides are best taken in the privacy of your own home, with the internet and phone OFF! LOL

Pashi

[Arwen]

Originally Posted by Passionaria

Emotional roller coaster rides are best taken in the privacy of your own home, with the internet and phone OFF! LOL

Pashi

That needs to be quoted and quoted and quoted again! Well said all of it, Pashi.

[tazz]

i tend to NOT blend/mix well with people who are constantly moody and have a temperamental side. those with egos.

i tend to attract and be attracted to those who are tolerant, kind, honest, and compassionate

i am a sensitive soul with a Very passionate spirit.

people who know me Very well, tend to describe me as such:

"be my friend and i will give you the shirt off my back and my undying loyalty, otherwise get the FUCK outta my way..."

and if i get burned... the nail goes in the coffin, sealed, and you are out of my life, for good.

[Rockinonahigh]

When I was going to college I met a couple of queer girls,they were a long standing couple with two kids and one was in my class at school,we became colse friends over the years.As time went on the drama became so bad I wouldnt anser my phone when they called,at school I kept things very brief then went on my buisness.I finaly had to end the friendship because of the feeling like I was being drained dry with the constant needyness of the both of them,when they split it was a double dose.I finaly changed my phone number then quit going to the places we use to go to.I didnt give them a reason I just walked away as quietly as I could.Over the last year I have cut people who were emetional vampires out of my life.I dont want to hold grudges,I dont have time or energy for them..all the energy I have now is put to doing good things that are possitive...feels so much better.

[smouldering]

It can be really difficult when having to let go of a friendship especially if at one time you were close to them, but after a while, when certain things happen it becomes a situation of enough is enough and the time comes when we seriously have to think about how healthy this friendship is.
I know personally i have had to end friendships with people who were emotional vampires, after interacting with them I would feel completely physically and emotionally drained and after a while, it seemed like the only time they ever really wanted to talk was if they either needed something from me, or wanted to drag me into their drama and I started feeling really on edge and annoyed every time I would hear from them, it got so bad that I knew I needed to put some space between us or it was going to get worse, and after cutting ties I felt a lot better, I have also needed to do this with family members.
I am empathic and sensitive to others and over the years I have had to learn how to sort of shield myself, there are times I feel like a magnet for the overly needy, but now due to age and experience I think, I am sort of able to catch on rather quickly if I am going to have issues with a certain personality and can sort of prepare for it if that makes sense?

When I was younger I used to hold grudges, especially against those who hurt myself or my family.. but over the years ive realized it took way too much energy so nowadays i am more apt to just let go and move on