Horrible Holiday Dishes!!!!

theoddz · 11-18-2011, 08:06 AM

For years, my dear Pop thought that giving his friends these little hard bricks of dry, chewy, sticky, cubed, candied, plastic-tasting so-called "fruitcake" was a really good idea. They're made in Claxton, Georgia, and have been around for something like 100 years. How this has happened, I have no idea. Apparently, there are some people who actually *like* these things. They'd make great door stoppers.

Me?? I'd only give them to someone whom I really, really didn't like.

I think this stuff would survive years and years of re-gifting. The shelf life of them has to be at least 25 years. They probably stock them in fallout shelters.

~Theo~

Gemme · 11-18-2011, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theoddz

For years, my dear Pop thought that giving his friends these little hard bricks of dry, chewy, sticky, cubed, candied, plastic-tasting so-called "fruitcake" was a really good idea. They're made in Claxton, Georgia, and have been around for something like 100 years. How this has happened, I have no idea. Apparently, there are some people who actually *like* these things. They'd make great door stoppers.

Me?? I'd only give them to someone whom I really, really didn't like.

I think this stuff would survive years and years of re-gifting. The shelf life of them has to be at least 25 years. They probably stock them in fallout shelters.

~Theo~

I love fruitcake.

theoddz · 11-19-2011, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme

I love fruitcake.

I can understand liking some fruitcakes. There are some I really like, but....The Claxton breed??? Oh no.

You'd be pulling it out of and from between your teeth 'til perdition.

Oh, and I saw this the other day, out here at MY COMMISSARY!!!!

<insert theme to "Jaws" here>

It looks suspiciously like The Claxton Fruitcake...."born again" into a Hostess wrapper. I think it is trying to deceive us and ride on the coat tails of The Twinkie.

Pop said that he likes this stuff with his coffee. I think he's using the coffee to soak it out of his teeth.

~Theo~

11-19-2011, 10:05 AM

I can't abide holiday food. Turkey, unless it's a top dollar free range rare breed bird, is so bland. Last year we had a rather voluptuous paella.

persiphone · 11-19-2011, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Incubus

I can't abide holiday food. Turkey, unless it's a top dollar free range rare breed bird, is so bland. Last year we had a rather voluptuous paella.

paella is not paella unless it is voluptuous.

11-19-2011, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by persiphone

paella is not paella unless it is voluptuous.

You are correct. It should 'relax' into the bowl like risotto and be resplendent with serious quantities of seafood.

11-18-2011, 08:06 AM	#1
theoddz Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Cranky Old Poop Preferred Pronoun?: Mr. Beast Relationship Status: Married to a beautiful babe whom I don't deserve. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Central Texas Posts: 3,547 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,163 Thanked 9,942 Times in 2,518 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	For years, my dear Pop thought that giving his friends these little hard bricks of dry, chewy, sticky, cubed, candied, plastic-tasting so-called "fruitcake" was a really good idea. They're made in Claxton, Georgia, and have been around for something like 100 years. How this has happened, I have no idea. Apparently, there are some people who actually like these things. They'd make great door stoppers. Me?? I'd only give them to someone whom I really, really didn't like. I think this stuff would survive years and years of re-gifting. The shelf life of them has to be at least 25 years. They probably stock them in fallout shelters. *~Theo~* __________________ *"All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."* -- J. R. R. Tolkien

11-19-2011, 10:05 AM	#4
Daktari Guest Tournaments Won: 1 Posts: n/a My Photo Gallery	I can't abide holiday food. Turkey, unless it's a top dollar free range rare breed bird, is so bland. Last year we had a rather voluptuous paella.