Original Bad Prose or Stories!

[Hollylane]

Plunger is missing.
Toilet is overflowing.
What’s that on my sock?

[Truly Scrumptious]

Early morning rush
There's orange peel in my shoe
And where are my keys

[Hollylane]

You may be from Mars
Maybe I am from Venus
So what? I’m still gay.

[Hollylane]

So I took this trip. No, not the kind I did last year, with the peyote, the desert, and the bald guy in a tutu. It was an actual trip. Down to San Diego, and that was where I had the most notable experience of my life. Right there among the sweaty brown bodies, buried beer bottles, slimy seaweed, and with sand in my crack because I forgot the $5 towel I bought from the gift shop on the corner down near Mission Beach. Or was it Mission Bay? I don’t know it was one of those tourist places and there was some water and people on roller blades and then there was the guy that nearly ran me down with his rented beach comber while wearing flip-flops and no underwear under his ridiculously short tropical pastel shorts, but I digress.

So again, down in San Diego, near a body of water, I ran into Lola. Lola was the catalyst to life changing events. Lola was standing there in her front yard with the pink flamingo and wearing a bright green sarong, while I was frantically attempting to pick my ass crack free of sand at the sidewalk shower, and she said “honey, can I help you with that? I got a 20ft hose with your name on it”. I looked up in surprise and relief and said, “Hell yes, I can’t walk another step without chafing my cheeks!”

So, Lola, she smiles and grabs the long green garden hose and drags it out onto the sidewalk, and it was at that moment that it occurred to me that my plane ticket was for Alaska. I guess that explains why I was standing on the sidewalk near a body of water in my underpants and thinking that it was unseasonably warm for Anchorage at this time of year. Doesn’t it?

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by Hollylane

Plunger is missing.
Toilet is overflowing.
What’s that on my sock?

Classic Holly! Love it!

All of you are are such talented writers! I love to read each of of you and all your "works".

I know I have been MIA.

I simply must pick my head up off the nightstand and set it back on my shoulders and let the neurotransmittors begin to flow in order for those synapses to once again begin to fire.

(How is that for a long run-on sentence? By George, I might be ready to write badly again).

[adorable]

The awkward pelican dives
from so far up there
from somewhere
close to the moon
wings spread
straight down
with purpose
determination
and such blazing speed
like a comet falls into the sea
watching him
(I am)
with childlike wonder and awe
(I am)
afraid his little neck will break
at the moment of actual impact
For such an aching hunger
dive, he must
he is not brave
his life simply depends on it
Rising back up from the sea
he longs to feel
just a little something
in his throat
that will justify
risking everything for
one more time

[*Anya*]

Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words:

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn" and is said to have called it his best work.

Here are some from some favorite authors & auteurs.

Knowing all of you, I would bet that each of you could equal or surpass them.

Mine-no classic but tells a tale:

Failed orgasm. Electricity out. Batteries instead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vacuum collision. Orbits diverge. Farewell, love.
- David Brin

Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.
- Joss Whedon

Automobile warranty expires. So does engine.
- Stan Lee

Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time
- Alan Moore

Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
- Margaret Atwood

His penis snapped off; he’s pregnant!
- Rudy Rucker

From torched skyscrapers, men grew wings.
- Gregory Maguire

Internet “wakes up?” Ridicu -
no carrier.
- Charles Stross

With bloody hands, I say good-bye.
- Frank Miller

Wasted day. Wasted life. Dessert, please.
- Steven Meretzky

“Cellar?” “Gate to, uh … hell, actually.”
- Ronald D. Moore

Epitaph: Foolish humans, never escaped Earth.
- Vernor Vinge

It cost too much, staying human.
- Bruce Sterling

We kissed. She melted. Mop please!
- James Patrick Kelly

It’s behind you! Hurry before it
- Rockne S. O’Bannon

I’m your future, child. Don’t cry.
- Stephen Baxter

Lie detector eyeglasses perfected: Civilization collapses.
- Richard Powers

I’m dead. I’ve missed you. Kiss … ?
- Neil Gaiman

The baby’s blood type? Human, mostly.
- Orson Scott Card

Kirby had never eaten toes before.
- Kevin Smith

Rained, rained, rained, and never stopped.
- Howard Waldrop

To save humankind he died again.
- Ben Bova

We went solar; sun went nova.
- Ken MacLeod

Husband, transgenic mistress; wife: “You cow!”
- Paul Di Filippo

“I couldn’t believe she’d shoot me.”
- Howard Chaykin

Don’t marry her. Buy a house.
- Stephen R. Donaldson

[Hollylane]

Ran with scissors. Result: Impromptu haircut.

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by Hollylane

Ran with scissors. Result: Impromptu haircut.

Fantastic as usual!! Lol

[Truly Scrumptious]

Puppy, open gate - crash. Children cry.

[WomenMoveMe]

Wrote her number in lipstick. Smeared.

In my dreams, she never left.

Stay calm. Act natural. Evening officer.

Flat tire. No jack. Bob's towing?

[*Anya*]

Empty heart
Now lives
Pumping again.

[*Anya*]

Tears fall

Wet face

Dry soul

[*Anya*]

Empty house echos
New family, much laughter
now home once again

[chai~]

you're all blah blah blah
and I'm like what the f*ck now?
my glazed look ignored

[Hollylane]

Originally Posted by chai~

you're all blah blah blah
and I'm like what the f*ck now?
my glazed look ignored

Wow Chai...I love it! It's bad...and so satisfying...

[chai~]

Originally Posted by Hollylane

Wow Chai...I love it! It's bad...and so satisfying...

*curtsey*
well thank you so much!

[The JD]

"Damn! Dropped the toothpaste," he crestfallenly declared.

[Hollylane]

Originally Posted by The JD

"Damn! Dropped the toothpaste," he crestfallenly declared.

"Crestfallenly"

That was priceless...Ha...ha...ha!