Cynthia Nixon says she's gay by 'choice.' Is it really a choice?

The_Lady_Snow · 02-07-2012, 10:27 AM

I'm sorry someone hurt you like that Vlasta, it's not because she was bisexual it was because she is not a nice person and a POS for doing what she did to you, your son, your heart...

We've all been hurt it still DOES NOT give us the right to make broad generalizations about a group of people..

Pedophiles come in all genders and sexual orientations, same with liars, cheaters and pricks..

EnderD_503 · 02-07-2012, 05:08 PM

I think human sexuality is a lot more complex than biological vs. choice or biological vs. environmental and there has been some interesting stuff written on it by theorists during the 20th century.

I can see how sexuality can be all of the above, meaning a mixture of biological, environmental and choice. I can remember only being attracted to women since I was a kid. I don't ever remember being genuinely attracted to boys as a kid. Developing politics and interests made me more attracted to queer women, and that much, I think, is both environmental and choice (in that I opt not to date straight-identified and/or particularly normative women).

Although if I think of what some have been saying in this thread, I think if I could flip a switch and suddenly be physically attracted to men or even queer men...the thought really brings out an adversarial reaction in me. I really would not take that option. I think if I could choose I would continue to be strictly into (queer) women. That much has to do with politics and personal values/beliefs.

As far as Nixon, I do see why some people are pissed off at her. In many places, lgbtq rights can rest on the biological argument. Additionally, as a celebrity people are, unfortunately, more likely to listen to her than to 10,000 activists. Hence why I generally think Hollywood stars should stfu about social issues in general. Most of them aren't particularly educated (and I don't mean this in an academic way) on social issues and tend to fuck up more than they help.

Edit: That being said, I would add that I find it hard to believe that any one person is 100% straight or gay. I think society has created this binary and it's led to a lot of fucked up shit. That being said, I still think everyone has their preferences. Just because something might have originally (or might eventually be) a possibility does not leave out the fact that people have their preferences. Different people have different preferences based on how they fuck...same with who they fuck.

Also, Straight celebrities aren't coming out saying "I chose to be straight," so I think all this "I chose to be gay" shit by Nixon is playing further into a lot of fucked up social bullshit.

Vlasta · 02-07-2012, 05:34 PM

Thank you for your reply's and I didn't expected that someone would agree with me . I knew since nobody would risk to be unpopular with they friends and I agree with me .

Yes , I am biased and I will not denied that. There are millions gay people rightfully fighting for the equal rights , they have been together for many years and not getting nowhere . Sad situation , but true .

On the other hand , no wonder that heterosexual community looking us as freaks and they don't recognized that we live an equally loving and normal lives as they do . If there are people that one day they are with John and few days later they are with Jane .Therefore , they are thinking it's a choice for us in which in so many cases it's not .

and to Snow , I hate pedophiles and I am just grateful that my son has been strong enough to overcome this situation and as a loving child kept that from me , because I wouldn't be posting here , I would be in a prison .

It's ok to be bisexual , but be honest and not living a double life .

The_Lady_Snow · 02-07-2012, 05:50 PM

Yanno Vlasta I'm not going to disagree with someone's opinion because it's gonna keep my homies "happy". I DON'T agree with what you stated because it was a sweeping generalization of members in this community. I wanted to clarify that particular detail....

Softhearted · 02-07-2012, 05:57 PM

Since when living a double life is linked to being bisexual?!??????

Vlasta · 02-07-2012, 06:12 PM

I am not going to debate any longer on this thread , I am done with it . I made myself clear how I feel . I lived through a very bad situation. I am not the one that you come home to me with a sperm from whoever you had sex with .

I am done , have a good night .

JustJo · 02-07-2012, 07:11 PM

Thank you Vlasta for coming back into the thread and telling your story and where your point of view comes from. I know that had to be difficult, and I appreciate you having the courage to do that.

I can also understand how your experiences with this partner, especially when it came to what she did to your son, can create bitterness...even though it was the individual that hurt you, and not others who may also identify as bisexual.

betenoire · 02-07-2012, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vlasta

On the other hand , no wonder that heterosexual community looking us as freaks and they don't recognized that we live an equally loving and normal lives as they do . If there are people that one day they are with John and few days later they are with Jane .Therefore , they are thinking it's a choice for us in which in so many cases it's not .

Wow. You know, I always thought that things like "the religious right" and "conservatism" and "general fear mongering hogwash" was the reason that we don't have equal rights in many countries.

I mean, come on. BISEXUALS are the reason you don't have equal rights? Really?

betenoire · 02-07-2012, 07:52 PM

And you know. While I'm real sorry you had a bad experience with someone who happened to be bisexual...I'm gonna tell you a story.

My dad used to be a trucker in the 80s. I used to travel with him a great deal of the time when I wasn't in school. This one time we were at a rest stop in Michigan when a man with a knife came up to us. He stole my dad's wallet and scared the shit out of us both.

Now, the dude at the rest stop happened to be Black. Given that one bad experience does my father (and me too) have a pass to shit-talk Black people? Would it be acceptable for my father to say "I don't have a problem with Black people so long as they don't steal wallets"? Of course not. Even though my dad had a bad experience once that would STILL be a bigoted thing to say because 1 - any time you say "I don't have a problem with ____" you obviously DO have a problem with ____. and 2 - it gives the impression that stealing wallets is a "Black thing" to do and any Black person who doesn't steal wallets is the exception to the rule.

so when you say:

Quote:

It's ok to be bisexual , but be honest and not living a double life .

It's clear that you don't think it's okay to be bisexual, and that you think there is a positive correlation between bisexuality and living a dishonest double life.

I am not the exception to the rule. Your ex is not the rule. There just IS no rule.

Just like there is no "rule" to lesbians or heterosexuals.

SnackTime · 02-07-2012, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by betenoire

I mean, come on. BISEXUALS are the reason you don't have equal rights? Really?

I do not see anywhere in her posts where she has stated this.

betenoire · 02-07-2012, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SnackTime

I do not see anywhere in her posts where she has stated this.

Quote:

Yes , I am biased and I will not denied that. There are millions gay people rightfully fighting for the equal rights , they have been together for many years and not getting nowhere . Sad situation , but true .

On the other hand , no wonder that heterosexual community looking us as freaks and they don't recognized that we live an equally loving and normal lives as they do . If there are people that one day they are with John and few days later they are with Jane .Therefore , they are thinking it's a choice for us in which in so many cases it's not .

Maybe it was actually a non sequitur, but I was crediting her post for following a cohesive train of thought.

Best case scenario she said that bisexuals are the reason that heterosexuals think of us all as freaks. BEST case scenario.

02-07-2012, 10:27 AM	#1
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,081 Times in 15,669 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	..... I'm sorry someone hurt you like that Vlasta, it's not because she was bisexual it was because she is not a nice person and a POS for doing what she did to you, your son, your heart... We've all been hurt it still DOES NOT give us the right to make broad generalizations about a group of people.. Pedophiles come in all genders and sexual orientations, same with liars, cheaters and pricks.. __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

02-07-2012, 05:50 PM	#4
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,081 Times in 15,669 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	Clarification Yanno Vlasta I'm not going to disagree with someone's opinion because it's gonna keep my homies "happy". I DON'T agree with what you stated because it was a sweeping generalization of members in this community. I wanted to clarify that particular detail.... __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

02-07-2012, 07:11 PM	#7
JustJo Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: pushy broad Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Southeast corner Posts: 5,633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,417 Thanked 25,406 Times in 4,660 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Thank you Vlasta for coming back into the thread and telling your story and where your point of view comes from. I know that had to be difficult, and I appreciate you having the courage to do that. I can also understand how your experiences with this partner, especially when it came to what she did to your son, can create bitterness...even though it was the individual that hurt you, and not others who may also identify as bisexual. __________________ I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters

02-07-2012, 05:08 PM	#2
EnderD_503 Member How Do You Identify?: Queer, trans guy, butch Preferred Pronoun?: Male pronouns Relationship Status: Relationship Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Canada Posts: 1,329 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,090 Thanked 3,878 Times in 1,022 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I think human sexuality is a lot more complex than biological vs. choice or biological vs. environmental and there has been some interesting stuff written on it by theorists during the 20th century. I can see how sexuality can be all of the above, meaning a mixture of biological, environmental and choice. I can remember only being attracted to women since I was a kid. I don't ever remember being genuinely attracted to boys as a kid. Developing politics and interests made me more attracted to queer women, and that much, I think, is both environmental and choice (in that I opt not to date straight-identified and/or particularly normative women). Although if I think of what some have been saying in this thread, I think if I could flip a switch and suddenly be physically attracted to men or even queer men...the thought really brings out an adversarial reaction in me. I really would not take that option. I think if I could choose I would continue to be strictly into (queer) women. That much has to do with politics and personal values/beliefs. As far as Nixon, I do see why some people are pissed off at her. In many places, lgbtq rights can rest on the biological argument. Additionally, as a celebrity people are, unfortunately, more likely to listen to her than to 10,000 activists. Hence why I generally think Hollywood stars should stfu about social issues in general. Most of them aren't particularly educated (and I don't mean this in an academic way) on social issues and tend to fuck up more than they help. Edit: That being said, I would add that I find it hard to believe that any one person is 100% straight or gay. I think society has created this binary and it's led to a lot of fucked up shit. That being said, I still think everyone has their preferences. Just because something might have originally (or might eventually be) a possibility does not leave out the fact that people have their preferences. Different people have different preferences based on how they fuck...same with who they fuck. Also, Straight celebrities aren't coming out saying "I chose to be straight," so I think all this "I chose to be gay" shit by Nixon is playing further into a lot of fucked up social bullshit.

02-07-2012, 05:34 PM	#3
Vlasta BFP Sentinels How Do You Identify?: ................. Preferred Pronoun?: .............. Relationship Status: .................. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ............... Posts: 546 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,353 Thanked 1,001 Times in 286 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Thank you for your reply's and I didn't expected that someone would agree with me . I knew since nobody would risk to be unpopular with they friends and I agree with me . Yes , I am biased and I will not denied that. There are millions gay people rightfully fighting for the equal rights , they have been together for many years and not getting nowhere . Sad situation , but true . On the other hand , no wonder that heterosexual community looking us as freaks and they don't recognized that we live an equally loving and normal lives as they do . If there are people that one day they are with John and few days later they are with Jane .Therefore , they are thinking it's a choice for us in which in so many cases it's not . and to Snow , I hate pedophiles and I am just grateful that my son has been strong enough to overcome this situation and as a loving child kept that from me , because I wouldn't be posting here , I would be in a prison . It's ok to be bisexual , but be honest and not living a double life .

02-07-2012, 05:57 PM	#5
Softhearted Member How Do You Identify?: --- Preferred Pronoun?: ---- Relationship Status: --- Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: --- Posts: 298 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 454 Thanked 285 Times in 109 Posts Rep Power: 1556234	Since when living a double life is linked to being bisexual?!??????

02-07-2012, 06:12 PM	#6
Vlasta BFP Sentinels How Do You Identify?: ................. Preferred Pronoun?: .............. Relationship Status: .................. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ............... Posts: 546 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,353 Thanked 1,001 Times in 286 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I am not going to debate any longer on this thread , I am done with it . I made myself clear how I feel . I lived through a very bad situation. I am not the one that you come home to me with a sperm from whoever you had sex with . I am done , have a good night .