Cancer Support and Caregivers Who Are Trail Blazers!

Rockinonahigh · 02-07-2012, 05:50 PM

My friend you have had a double major surgery so I would think it takes a lot out of your body to heal it self,we both know it dosent happen over night.Carry on with what you are doing,it will all work out.

pynkkameleon · 02-07-2012, 06:37 PM

I spent the better portion of my day reading every single post in this thread. I have laughed, cried, empathized, grieved and have been touched by each and every one of you.

I'm a member of the club none of us ever wanted to join too. I was diagnosed in 2009 with Breast Cancer. Lost the boobs, did chemo, did rads, got new foobs, lost those, got another set of foobs and lost again. Apparently boobs don't like me. Fine, cuz I don't really like them either too much right now. It's going to be an adjustment since nearly every shirt I own was designed to show off my lovely bit of cleavage but what can I do but roll with it.

I don't have time to say much more at the moment but will try to pop in later for a more proper introduction. Nurse will be here in a few minutes to change the dressing on my PICC line, kids are wanting dinner etc.. but I did want to say that I think you are all AMAZING! All of you supporters, caregivers, loved ones and those battling the beast, stay strong.. and as Clay so wonderfully said.. We are all Brave Warriors!

clay · 02-07-2012, 06:51 PM

Vonni:
First off...here ya go....(((((((((((((((((((((((((Vonni)))))))))))))) )).
Secondly, foobs...I love that word...IMHO..those DO NOT a woman's
cleavage" make..it is HOW she wears her top,(ie...does she wear it proudly, wear it beautifully) and "work it" like a runway MODEL she is... how much "skin" she decides to show, AND how she carries herself....along with her heart and her spirit! THAT is what I find hawwwttt about her....
WELCOME to our wonderful group here..and make yourself right at home! YOU have your own BRAVE WARRIOR badge here...so wear it proud sister! as you have been doing!
ANY TIME you need to talk, and want to do so privately...I will always make time for you.....as will all the beautiful souls here! YOU will NOT walk this walk alone here!!! WE won't LET you..so with that said...
May you have an awesome support system where you are....may you have peace and calmness in your daily journey, and know I am sending you white light energy..always...place your hand in mine, and any one of us here or better yet....ALL of ours..we march together..and leave NO ONE behind!!! We carry, we push, we pull, we encourage, we support, we cry, we laugh, and we LIVE our lives to the fullest..but we leave NO ONE behind!!! Everyone of us has attributes to offer to others...some of us walk the same journey, some of us walk a different journey, some of us are supporters and caregivers, some of us are family, some of us are friends, BUT WE ALL walk united...for we are BRAVE WARRIORS!
Come on back anytime...pull up a comfy chair, and let us hear how you are doing....FIGHT, honey FIGHT!!!!
I look forward to hearing more of your story and seeing your gorgeously beautiful self in here..so smile, dahlink...we are ALL very Brave Warriors!!! hugs, hugs, and more hugs...Clay

DapperButch · 02-07-2012, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vonni

I spent the better portion of my day reading every single post in this thread. I have laughed, cried, empathized, grieved and have been touched by each and every one of you.

I'm a member of the club none of us ever wanted to join too. I was diagnosed in 2009 with Breast Cancer. Lost the boobs, did chemo, did rads, got new foobs, lost those, got another set of foobs and lost again. Apparently boobs don't like me. Fine, cuz I don't really like them either too much right now. It's going to be an adjustment since nearly every shirt I own was designed to show off my lovely bit of cleavage but what can I do but roll with it.

I don't have time to say much more at the moment but will try to pop in later for a more proper introduction. Nurse will be here in a few minutes to change the dressing on my PICC line, kids are wanting dinner etc.. but I did want to say that I think you are all AMAZING! All of you supporters, caregivers, loved ones and those battling the beast, stay strong.. and as Clay so wonderfully said.. We are all Brave Warriors!

Vonni,

Thanks for joining the thread. I'm glad you are here.

JustJo · 02-07-2012, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vonni

I spent the better portion of my day reading every single post in this thread. I have laughed, cried, empathized, grieved and have been touched by each and every one of you.

I'm a member of the club none of us ever wanted to join too. I was diagnosed in 2009 with Breast Cancer. Lost the boobs, did chemo, did rads, got new foobs, lost those, got another set of foobs and lost again. Apparently boobs don't like me. Fine, cuz I don't really like them either too much right now. It's going to be an adjustment since nearly every shirt I own was designed to show off my lovely bit of cleavage but what can I do but roll with it.

I don't have time to say much more at the moment but will try to pop in later for a more proper introduction. Nurse will be here in a few minutes to change the dressing on my PICC line, kids are wanting dinner etc.. but I did want to say that I think you are all AMAZING! All of you supporters, caregivers, loved ones and those battling the beast, stay strong.. and as Clay so wonderfully said.. We are all Brave Warriors!

Welcome to the thread Vonni.

I've received tremendous support and advice here....and hope it serves you as well.
Wishing you all the best...

clay · 02-07-2012, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh

My friend you have had a double major surgery so I would think it takes a lot out of your body to heal it self,we both know it dosent happen over night.Carry on with what you are doing,it will all work out.

hey Mike: THANK YOU my darling buddy! Yea, I have to STOP sometimes and remind myself that just 8 short weeks ago, I was in the OR having double major abdominal surgery...TWO procedures....grin! along with an NG tube for 10 days, AND PPN feedings.for 5 days....grin! Anyway, I know it takes time to recuperate, get all that anesthesia out of your system, and to "heal" from within!
Appreciate you my bud!! Clay

Rockinonahigh · 02-07-2012, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by claybaby

hey Mike: THANK YOU my darling buddy! Yea, I have to STOP sometimes and remind myself that just 8 short weeks ago, I was in the OR having double major abdominal surgery...TWO procedures....grin! along with an NG tube for 10 days, AND PPN feedings.for 5 days....grin! Anyway, I know it takes time to recuperate, get all that anesthesia out of your system, and to "heal" from within!
Appreciate you my bud!! Clay

Tks bud,no matter how or where we are in this life we all are rowing the same boat,just in a diffrent way.Dont forget we have to meet up in a town in Arkansaw this fall,by time all of the planet folks meet and greet then just plain get to know each other...the place wont be the same...nor will we.

JustJo · 02-08-2012, 02:10 PM

Hello all,

It's been awhile since I've posted about mom, but not much has changed. We're in a holding pattern of sorts. She is still doing the (supposedly reduced) chemo, but is finding that it makes her just as sick. The oncologist and surgeon disagree about whether she should continue it or not...and she is leaning towards not.

Basically, she feels fine when not on chemo...very sick when on it...and no one knows whether chemo actually will slow the advance of these punctate lesions or not. In a nutshell...her choice...does she want to feel nauseous and exhausted and take a potential chance at increased time....or feel like herself and take a potential chance at reduced time.

All she knows for sure right now is that she really wants to be home on her own place. I understand that, as it's always been her closest connection and the most important thing in her life. With the mild winter, weather isn't the issue we had anticipated...and she's eating and drinking well, not to mention infinitely stronger and healthier than when she arrived in early December. So....she's going home, a week from Saturday. She'll still have visiting nurse and home health aid a couple times a week, and her best friend will by my spy. We have agreed that if she starts to deteriorate at all, or by next winter at least, she will come back here to Florida again.

Honestly, I'm relieved. The stress of being a caregiver is enormous, exhausting and difficult...even if the previous relationship is good. When the previous relationship is rocky, and the recipient of care is a narcissist....well....suffice to say that I can use the break myself.

I also struggle....so many people want to tell me that I'm a good daughter, or so compassionate and giving, or so brave....and I'm not. Believe me....I'm here to tell you. I am doing this because I must....because I have to live with myself and look in the mirror each day for the rest of my life. I joke about "damn ethics"....but that's what it is....the recognition that the right thing needs to be done even if I hate doing it, even if it exhausts me, and even as I grit my teeth and bite my tongue.

I'm never had cancer myself, but I can only imagine that it is the same for many cancer patients....who get through it one step at a time simply because they must.

Hugs,
Jo

DapperButch · 02-08-2012, 04:59 PM

Jo, thanks for updating us on your mom. It sounds like her being down here was a very, very good thing for her. It really stabilized her and that is great. It does sound like she really is at a crossroads in terms of her decision. It would be a tough call.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJo

I also struggle....so many people want to tell me that I'm a good daughter, or so compassionate and giving, or so brave....and I'm not. Believe me....I'm here to tell you. I am doing this because I must....because I have to live with myself and look in the mirror each day for the rest of my life. I joke about "damn ethics"....but that's what it is....the recognition that the right thing needs to be done even if I hate doing it, even if it exhausts me, and even as I grit my teeth and bite my tongue.

I'm never had cancer myself, but I can only imagine that it is the same for many cancer patients....who get through it one step at a time simply because they must.

Hugs,
Jo

I know exactly what you mean with the whole "brave" part not fitting for you. I actually was going to respond to Clay's post last night <waving at Clay> to tell her that I would prefer she refrain from calling me a "brave warrior". That isn't how I identify. I am just a guy who got cancer and didn't want to die so hy got treatment. Being called a "brave warrior" makes me quite uncomfortable.

So, Clay, I support you in calling yourself whatever, including brave warrior, if that is how you identify, but I am just a guy who did what had to be done. Please stop calling me something I do not identify with, however, please know I appreciate the sentiment. Thanks.

JustJo · 02-15-2012, 06:14 PM

Hello all,

Probably time for another update, but please skip this one if you don't want to hear bad news.

We just got the results of my mother's last PET scan and the cancer has metastisized (or however you spell that freakin word) to her liver. They are calling it hyper-metabolic....which basically means growing like a son of a bitch.

Also, several of the punctate lesions have now activated on the outside of her remaining small intestine.

They have said they are "willing to try" very aggressive chemo....but the mild chemo she is on is already making her more sick than she can tolerate, and her weight is already dropping again. The only time she felt well, and was gaining weight, is when she had a break from chemo....so she expects that the very aggressive version would be absolutely intolerable for her.

She has decided to return home as planned on Saturday, to refuse chemo, and to begin working with hospice. She would prefer to live a shorter time, and not feel so sick...and most definitely not to die either in a hospital, or in front of my son.

She has already started getting her affairs in order.

Cancer sucks.

clay · 02-15-2012, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJo

Hello all,

Probably time for another update, but please skip this one if you don't want to hear bad news.

We just got the results of my mother's last PET scan and the cancer has metastisized (or however you spell that freakin word) to her liver. They are calling it hyper-metabolic....which basically means growing like a son of a bitch.

Also, several of the punctate lesions have now activated on the outside of her remaining small intestine.

They have said they are "willing to try" very aggressive chemo....but the mild chemo she is on is already making her more sick than she can tolerate, and her weight is already dropping again. The only time she felt well, and was gaining weight, is when she had a break from chemo....so she expects that the very aggressive version would be absolutely intolerable for her.

She has decided to return home as planned on Saturday, to refuse chemo, and to begin working with hospice. She would prefer to live a shorter time, and not feel so sick...and most definitely not to die either in a hospital, or in front of my son.

She has already started getting her affairs in order.

Cancer sucks.

aww Jo.....BIG HUGS to you and mom!!! She is in my heart & thoughts...as are you!!! Love you, Mom!!!

Tommi · 02-15-2012, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJo

Hello all,

Probably time for another update, but please skip this one if you don't want to hear bad news.

We just got the results of my mother's last PET scan and the cancer has metastisized (or however you spell that freakin word) to her liver. They are calling it hyper-metabolic....which basically means growing like a son of a bitch.

Also, several of the punctate lesions have now activated on the outside of her remaining small intestine.

They have said they are "willing to try" very aggressive chemo....but the mild chemo she is on is already making her more sick than she can tolerate, and her weight is already dropping again. The only time she felt well, and was gaining weight, is when she had a break from chemo....so she expects that the very aggressive version would be absolutely intolerable for her.

She has decided to return home as planned on Saturday, to refuse chemo, and to begin working with hospice. She would prefer to live a shorter time, and not feel so sick...and most definitely not to die either in a hospital, or in front of my son.

She has already started getting her affairs in order.

Cancer sucks.

(((((((((((((Jo's Mom))))))))))))))

mustangjeano · 02-15-2012, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJo

Hello all,

Probably time for another update, but please skip this one if you don't want to hear bad news.

We just got the results of my mother's last PET scan and the cancer has metastisized (or however you spell that freakin word) to her liver. They are calling it hyper-metabolic....which basically means growing like a son of a bitch.

Also, several of the punctate lesions have now activated on the outside of her remaining small intestine.

They have said they are "willing to try" very aggressive chemo....but the mild chemo she is on is already making her more sick than she can tolerate, and her weight is already dropping again. The only time she felt well, and was gaining weight, is when she had a break from chemo....so she expects that the very aggressive version would be absolutely intolerable for her.

She has decided to return home as planned on Saturday, to refuse chemo, and to begin working with hospice. She would prefer to live a shorter time, and not feel so sick...and most definitely not to die either in a hospital, or in front of my son.

She has already started getting her affairs in order.

Cancer sucks.

Oh damn Jo, I'm so sorry. I can't think of anything helpful to say other than I will keep you and your Mom in my prayers. We are all here for you.

02-07-2012, 06:37 PM	#2
pynkkameleon Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Girly ones Relationship Status: Riding off into the sunset with my Cowboi Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Texas Posts: 130 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,279 Thanked 484 Times in 98 Posts Rep Power: 7809054	I spent the better portion of my day reading every single post in this thread. I have laughed, cried, empathized, grieved and have been touched by each and every one of you. I'm a member of the club none of us ever wanted to join too. I was diagnosed in 2009 with Breast Cancer. Lost the boobs, did chemo, did rads, got new foobs, lost those, got another set of foobs and lost again. Apparently boobs don't like me. Fine, cuz I don't really like them either too much right now. It's going to be an adjustment since nearly every shirt I own was designed to show off my lovely bit of cleavage but what can I do but roll with it. I don't have time to say much more at the moment but will try to pop in later for a more proper introduction. Nurse will be here in a few minutes to change the dressing on my PICC line, kids are wanting dinner etc.. but I did want to say that I think you are all AMAZING! All of you supporters, caregivers, loved ones and those battling the beast, stay strong.. and as Clay so wonderfully said.. We are all Brave Warriors! __________________ ~Vonni~ *Don't define your world in black and white..* *There is so much hiding amongst the greys* *❤❤❤❤❤*

02-07-2012, 06:51 PM	#3
clay Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?: 50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status: married to my forever Join Date: May 2011 Location: salt air & sandy beaches Posts: 13,136 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 97,020 Thanked 31,664 Times in 7,748 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	Vonni: First off...here ya go....(((((((((((((((((((((((((Vonni)))))))))))))) )). Secondly, foobs...I love that word...IMHO..those DO NOT a woman's cleavage" make..it is HOW she wears her top,(ie...does she wear it proudly, wear it beautifully) and "work it" like a runway MODEL she is... how much "skin" she decides to show, AND how she carries herself....along with her heart and her spirit! THAT is what I find hawwwttt about her.... WELCOME to our wonderful group here..and make yourself right at home! YOU have your own BRAVE WARRIOR badge here...so wear it proud sister! as you have been doing! ANY TIME you need to talk, and want to do so privately...I will always make time for you.....as will all the beautiful souls here! YOU will NOT walk this walk alone here!!! WE won't LET you..so with that said... May you have an awesome support system where you are....may you have peace and calmness in your daily journey, and know I am sending you white light energy..always...place your hand in mine, and any one of us here or better yet....ALL of ours..we march together..and leave NO ONE behind!!! We carry, we push, we pull, we encourage, we support, we cry, we laugh, and we LIVE our lives to the fullest..but we leave NO ONE behind!!! Everyone of us has attributes to offer to others...some of us walk the same journey, some of us walk a different journey, some of us are supporters and caregivers, some of us are family, some of us are friends, BUT WE ALL walk united...for we are BRAVE WARRIORS! Come on back anytime...pull up a comfy chair, and let us hear how you are doing....FIGHT, honey FIGHT!!!! I look forward to hearing more of your story and seeing your gorgeously beautiful self in here..so smile, dahlink...we are ALL very Brave Warriors!!! hugs, hugs, and more hugs...Clay __________________ To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault

02-08-2012, 02:10 PM	#8
JustJo Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: pushy broad Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Southeast corner Posts: 5,633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,417 Thanked 25,404 Times in 4,660 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Hello all, It's been awhile since I've posted about mom, but not much has changed. We're in a holding pattern of sorts. She is still doing the (supposedly reduced) chemo, but is finding that it makes her just as sick. The oncologist and surgeon disagree about whether she should continue it or not...and she is leaning towards not. Basically, she feels fine when not on chemo...very sick when on it...and no one knows whether chemo actually will slow the advance of these punctate lesions or not. In a nutshell...her choice...does she want to feel nauseous and exhausted and take a potential chance at increased time....or feel like herself and take a potential chance at reduced time. All she knows for sure right now is that she really wants to be home on her own place. I understand that, as it's always been her closest connection and the most important thing in her life. With the mild winter, weather isn't the issue we had anticipated...and she's eating and drinking well, not to mention infinitely stronger and healthier than when she arrived in early December. So....she's going home, a week from Saturday. She'll still have visiting nurse and home health aid a couple times a week, and her best friend will by my spy. We have agreed that if she starts to deteriorate at all, or by next winter at least, she will come back here to Florida again. Honestly, I'm relieved. The stress of being a caregiver is enormous, exhausting and difficult...even if the previous relationship is good. When the previous relationship is rocky, and the recipient of care is a narcissist....well....suffice to say that I can use the break myself. I also struggle....so many people want to tell me that I'm a good daughter, or so compassionate and giving, or so brave....and I'm not. Believe me....I'm here to tell you. I am doing this because I must....because I have to live with myself and look in the mirror each day for the rest of my life. I joke about "damn ethics"....but that's what it is....the recognition that the right thing needs to be done even if I hate doing it, even if it exhausts me, and even as I grit my teeth and bite my tongue. I'm never had cancer myself, but I can only imagine that it is the same for many cancer patients....who get through it one step at a time simply because they must. Hugs, Jo __________________ I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters

02-15-2012, 06:14 PM	#10
JustJo Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: pushy broad Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Southeast corner Posts: 5,633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,417 Thanked 25,404 Times in 4,660 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Hello all, Probably time for another update, but please skip this one if you don't want to hear bad news. We just got the results of my mother's last PET scan and the cancer has metastisized (or however you spell that freakin word) to her liver. They are calling it hyper-metabolic....which basically means growing like a son of a bitch. Also, several of the punctate lesions have now activated on the outside of her remaining small intestine. They have said they are "willing to try" very aggressive chemo....but the mild chemo she is on is already making her more sick than she can tolerate, and her weight is already dropping again. The only time she felt well, and was gaining weight, is when she had a break from chemo....so she expects that the very aggressive version would be absolutely intolerable for her. She has decided to return home as planned on Saturday, to refuse chemo, and to begin working with hospice. She would prefer to live a shorter time, and not feel so sick...and most definitely not to die either in a hospital, or in front of my son. She has already started getting her affairs in order. Cancer sucks. __________________ I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters

02-07-2012, 05:50 PM	#1
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,933 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	My friend you have had a double major surgery so I would think it takes a lot out of your body to heal it self,we both know it dosent happen over night.Carry on with what you are doing,it will all work out.