![]() |
|
![]() |
#1 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,290 Times in 5,184 Posts
Rep Power: 21474868 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
February 8
ACCIDENT OF BIRTH We are here together, born the millstones about one another’s necks. Parentage equates to persuasion and I hold these strangers to my breast. Minds having chosen, violent turns skew off radar’s blip. I am held by guilt’s tight sutures to this motley mass. I long for the freedom of birds to fly far from my nest mates. Possessing sense enough not to neighbor with owners of my same genetic skin, I dream to be a turtle of the sea and meet each other in neutral waterways, friends for seasons of choice, far from the family shore. Accidents brought us together. Let kindness emancipate us. Test your mind with poetry. * From Pen to Progress “Leave those gaters in the paddock awhile longer,” said my sponsor. I gave a little better than a cursory glance at the hulking forms though I did stay strictly on my side of the fence and grasped tighter the hand of my custodian. The onceover, worked fine as my first pass through the creatures of the swamp, I didn’t fully grasp what lay beyond the petting zoo, but given my newness this wasn’t entirely a bad thing. On second run I was in a boat with a glass bottom and a guide, I had vision, clarity. Third time through was a charm, swim fins and a rope tied about my waist, it was all too real. I floundered and had to be hauled bodily by my home group, my sponsor stood anchor. I have numbered and charted these murky waters now and I see the lure they have for my ailing, twisted mind; The intensity of the brutes awash and the dark calling to dark makes that sick sense that only an alcoholic can parse. I have to take to those byways with supplies and reinforcements. Never swim alone!
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait ![]() ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work ![]() To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2 |
Guest
|
![]()
Day 10 (31st Jan was my date)
I had the best nights sleep I've had in years last night. I slept and slept and slept - on the sofa...then slipped myself into bed in the early hours (6am) and fell straight back to sleep; something totally unheard of, it would usually have taken a big fat drink or three to go back to sleep. Yesterday's acupuncture did something for sure. Sadly I can't make todays session but I'll be there on Monday; I finish a class at uni just about in time to get to the venue, for more of those relaxing needles. There's stress at the moment which I could easily use as an excuse to hide away and drink but I choose not to. The Government may need me to jump through more hoops of fire so that I can continue to survive but I shall do it and do it sober. I shall remind myself as I remind the guys in the quitting smoking thread...May the force be with you ![]() |
![]() |
The Following User Says Thank You to For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#3 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,290 Times in 5,184 Posts
Rep Power: 21474868 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
February 9
READY Ready or not here it comes: life on terms of its own. Bracing for the onslaught of gravity I grip too well the implements of past days. Fearing the pressure, I lay in my shallow grave, the ground having been scooped out by hand. Withering from expectation, my blood runs slow and dark, reducing to coagulated futility, losing my life in anticipation of death. Attempts at being less as means of protection fail. Less is not a solution; fading does not make life more livable. It makes me unavailable. Readiness is my responsibility; it is momentary. Momentary is sufficient. Sobriety is nothing more than lining myself up with the needs of this instant. I need go no further. Whole solutions, not my department. Showing up, dressed and washed, ball and bat in hand if possible, but just making it to the lineup is my full time job. Even if I never swing, it is still better than being buried in the field. Put a joke in your pocket. * Simultaneous Acceptance Being typical is a difficult thing to live with, but I am typical. Being extraordinary is a challenging thing to live up to, but this is also mine to bear, you see I am a typical alcoholic after all. Walking with one foot in each camp is not enough. I must simultaneously accept both my common commonality and my lottery winner uniqueness If I am to travel hand in hand with my Higher Power. If I don’t integrate this double reality, allow it to imprint my thoughts the way it is tattooed in my DNA I can not possibly take the biggest step of all. Drop my judgment of these things so that humility can dwell within. You see there is not enough room in the vortex of my humanness to accommodate the jags of verdict And the desire for the sublime smoothness of humility. I can’t chase humility, I have had to face that, but I can remove the impediments to its residence.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait ![]() ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work ![]() To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#4 | |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,290 Times in 5,184 Posts
Rep Power: 21474868 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
Yes, may the force be with you! I am so excited that you are accruing day and getting sleep. I hope the hoop jumping goes well and that you continue to have those sweet nights of sleep! Big hugs, Sherrie
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait ![]() ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work ![]() To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#5 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,290 Times in 5,184 Posts
Rep Power: 21474868 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
February 10
FORGIVENESS “Forgiveness is not something to force on people like unwanted coffee,” says my sponsor. Everyone tells me forgive, forgive, forgive. “These are the same folks who said, ‘stay and have another drink.’ It is only appropriate to forgive people who ask for forgiveness and show you with their behavior that they want it. It is never appropriate to shove forgiveness on people who haven’t asked, show no signs of wanting it, or demonstrate just the opposite.” I thought forgiveness was to help me feel better. “Letting go of resentments is to make you feel better. Making amends to the people you’ve hurt, and cleaning up your side of the street is to make you feel better. Keeping an open mind and heart will make you ready for the possibility of someone coming to make amends. Forgiveness is a two-way street; anything you have to throw over someone like a net is usually a mistake,” she says with a wink, and then she has the nerve to curtsy. Design your dream tea. * Hospitality What unites us, heals us, serves us, is the hospitality of the program. Fellowship encircles us and draws us close, in a word unites us, hospitality is our core. Hospital is the root of hospitality and recovery is the route to health, hospitality is the skeleton of recovery. Hospitable aid, the true gift of self is hospitality; hospitality the master of A.A.
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait ![]() ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work ![]() To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
The Following User Says Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#6 |
Guest
|
![]()
Day 11...
...and another great nights sleep. Feeling a bit odd today though, sorta shaky and and a bit anxious but I'm sure I'll cop; it's just one of those days. It's better than feeling hung-over. I'm going to go my first meeting in 26yrs tonight at the local Friends Meeting House which is a 5minute bike ride away. I have a little anxiety about it but I know folks will be friendly and I'll just slip right in there......I'm not a shy chap ![]() |
![]() |
The Following User Says Thank You to For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#7 | |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Jersey
Posts: 16,642
Thanks: 2,529
Thanked 12,290 Times in 5,184 Posts
Rep Power: 21474868 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Quote:
Hope you have a great meeting! Glad you're sleeping! Is school going well? I bet doing homework sober is going to be a kick!
__________________
Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait ![]() ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work ![]() To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
The Following User Says Thank You to LeftWriteFemme For This Useful Post: |
![]() |
#8 | |
Guest
|
![]() Quote:
School is a different matter; I'm having to play a big catch up game but I have the official dispensation to do so thankfully. I'm finding it hard to concentrate on study but I'm sure that will get easier. It's weird having a little bit of memory function coming back. I've never actually studied when not smoking and/or drinking before...it will take time to adjust! ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
Tags |
12 step recovery, acoa, al-anon, alcoholic, alcoholics anonmyous, coda, on-line meeting |
|
|