Is Marriage for you?

[clay]

I have been reading all the posts...and some excellent posts....again, TY MsTinker...excellent thread!!!
Just some FYI....I was with my "wife" for 15 years. When she was diagnosed with stage IV terminal cancer in 2007, we made all our legal papers and had them signed, and notarized!
Upon her death in 2009, I took said will and Five Wishes, that were also signed, and notarized, to Probate Court, paid my $10 fee, and was told..."that is all you need to do" and "this is legal".
Imagine MY surprise when 6 months later, I find out quite by accident that the sister had gotten ALL 3 buildings of our belongings...and the life insurance monies. HOW did she do this? My state does NOT recognize same sex relationships and we had never had any sort of ceremony, being bound by our hearts and our committment to one another!
MY POINT: do not depend on POA's, DM POA's, and Wills....I was told, much after the fact, if we had done things in a TRUST..it would have been unbreakable..by anyone. This is what I was told..and I am in NO WAY dispensing any sort of "legal advice" JUST MY own experience! I had no money to hire a lawyer, and things were already done and over with...sooo

[aishah]

Originally Posted by claybaby

I have been reading all the posts...and some excellent posts....again, TY MsTinker...excellent thread!!!
Just some FYI....I was with my "wife" for 15 years. When she was diagnosed with stage IV terminal cancer in 2007, we made all our legal papers and had them signed, and notarized!
Upon her death in 2009, I took said will and Five Wishes, that were also signed, and notarized, to Probate Court, paid my $10 fee, and was told..."that is all you need to do" and "this is legal".
Imagine MY surprise when 6 months later, I find out quite by accident that the sister had gotten ALL 3 buildings of our belongings...and the life insurance monies. HOW did she do this? My state does NOT recognize same sex relationships and we had never had any sort of ceremony, being bound by our hearts and our committment to one another!
MY POINT: do not depend on POA's, DM POA's, and Wills....I was told, much after the fact, if we had done things in a TRUST..it would have been unbreakable..by anyone. This is what I was told..and I am in NO WAY dispensing any sort of "legal advice" JUST MY own experience! I had no money to hire a lawyer, and things were already done and over with...sooo

THANK YOU so much for posting this.

i haven't been through this situation with a partner, but i lost both of my parents when i was 17 and neither had a will. my step-parents took EVERYTHING - the life insurance, my parents' houses, my mother's car, all of my possessions that were still in my parents' houses. even though they had acted as though everything was fine before my parents died and made promises to my parents as to how things would be handled (spending life insurance to pay off the house so my stepdad, my older sister and her kids, and i could live there if needed; splitting the remaining life insurance to help me with medical bills and my sister with getting through school with kids; etc.). my father and i had worked on a troop carrier wwii history project together for years and my stepmother and father's family had no part of it, but they stole all of the materials we worked on together and i had no access to anything (which included a library of priceless primary source material). my extended family on both sides basically abandoned me, my sister, and my nieces right after, and we were destitute. i don't care how much you trust your family or your partners - people go fucking nuts when somebody dies. TAKE CARE OF YOUR LEGAL STUFF. write your will, put it in a trust, whatever you have to do. if you want your assets to go to your partner(s) or kids when you die, do whatever you have to do to make ABSOLUTELY certain that that will happen, because if you don't, those people (including your children) have NO RIGHTS whatsoever. this is one case where trust (even in a decades-long relationship) is NOT enough.

[MsTinkerbelly]

Originally Posted by claybaby

I have been reading all the posts...and some excellent posts....again, TY MsTinker...excellent thread!!!
Just some FYI....I was with my "wife" for 15 years. When she was diagnosed with stage IV terminal cancer in 2007, we made all our legal papers and had them signed, and notarized!
Upon her death in 2009, I took said will and Five Wishes, that were also signed, and notarized, to Probate Court, paid my $10 fee, and was told..."that is all you need to do" and "this is legal".
Imagine MY surprise when 6 months later, I find out quite by accident that the sister had gotten ALL 3 buildings of our belongings...and the life insurance monies. HOW did she do this? My state does NOT recognize same sex relationships and we had never had any sort of ceremony, being bound by our hearts and our committment to one another!
MY POINT: do not depend on POA's, DM POA's, and Wills....I was told, much after the fact, if we had done things in a TRUST..it would have been unbreakable..by anyone. This is what I was told..and I am in NO WAY dispensing any sort of "legal advice" JUST MY own experience! I had no money to hire a lawyer, and things were already done and over with...sooo

I inherited a great deal of liquid assests upon my Mother's death, and even with our "legal" marriage we have a trust. You never know who or what is going to happen.