Cancer Support and Caregivers Who Are Trail Blazers!

[Spirit Dancer]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

I want to start a thread that is a support for those who are suffering from any kind of cancer. It also is for those who are caregivers to those suffering from cancer.

I want this to be a safe place to talk openly about diagnoses, treatment plans, medicines, drugs, and everything else imaginable.

My life has drastically changed with the loss of my beloved sister, JoAnn last year. She had skin cancer, called Melanoma. So I am aware of projectile vomiting, fevers, chills, and every side effect of chemo under the sun. JoAnn never complained - not even once.

So, with that said. Please feel free to post.

Namaste,
Andrew

Thank you Andrew for starting this thread
As a caregiver I want to post and to enlighten those who've never dealt with Cancer or any other long term chronic illness.
Your caregiver is the one who, gets every imaginable throwback, the happy days, sad days, angry days,
the I don't want to go on days and the days.
The days with good news, bad news and no news.
If there is a change we are there, we clean and cook,
we bathe and care for our loved ones.
Out of love, we are there.
We allow them to shed tears even when we hide our own,
we laugh, we share and in the most heart breaking cases
we watch them cross over.

We are tired, worn out sleep deprived but we march on.
They depend on us, for we are their Nurses, their Pharmacy, their Cooks, their Transporters and their advocate,
we get things done when they cannot. They trust us and confide in us
and we stay strong for them, giving them encouragement even on the darkest days.
Not every Cancer patient has multiple caregivers,
so when people think that caregiver is short, or curt, flighty, in a hurry.
Give some consideration they might be on day three, with only six hours of sleep, in 72 hours and multitasking to no end just to make sure their loved ones get the care they so richly deserve.

[IttyBittyFem]

Thank you Andrew for opening this Thread.

So many of us, just from the Planet, have been effected by Cancer. Either had/has it and/or are Caregivers to loved ones that are going through it.

I've been on both sides of the Fence and currently, my Mom's Caregiver. I now realize that each case is unique and each person reacts differently.

Having Cancer certainly is no picnic, but it's YOU that has it, so it's a bit easier to go through.

When you're the Caregiver, it seems more torturous to me. I want to take on the physical reactions, I would rather have my own hair fall out then theirs, I'd rather be the one that needs to force the food down, etc. It's just excruciating to sit by, feeling totally helpless, watching your loved one travel through the journey you're so familiar with.

Sometimes I wonder - which is worse.

[FireheartForever]

~ my mother has cancer ~

while she is not meant to b with me much longer, i find myself @ a loss as to ask god what i can say for her in my prayers. i dont think anything can prepare me for the loss of another parent. am i supposed to b ready for this? if so...i cant say i feel it. chemo is suppose to extend her life...but i dont see it giving her any quality. all i know is that all the joy in my life has left..it is replaced with a knawing sorrow of what is eniveitable. i understand what its like to not b able to do anything for someone whom u love n cant......... the uneviable position of feelin helpless ....

[deb_U_taunt]

Originally Posted by FireheartForever

~ my mother has cancer ~

while she is not meant to b with me much longer, i find myself @ a loss as to ask god what i can say for her in my prayers. i dont think anything can prepare me for the loss of another parent. am i supposed to b ready for this? if so...i cant say i feel it. chemo is suppose to extend her life...but i dont see it giving her any quality. all i know is that all the joy in my life has left..it is replaced with a knawing sorrow of what is eniveitable. i understand what its like to not b able to do anything for someone whom u love n cant......... the uneviable position of feelin helpless ....

Fireheart, I am so sorry about your mom. I don't know what to say. It is hard to watch someone we love leave us. Hold on to good memories when you look in her eyes. Sending lots or love, prayers and hugs to you and your family.

[clay]

Originally Posted by FireheartForever

~ my mother has cancer ~

while she is not meant to b with me much longer, i find myself @ a loss as to ask god what i can say for her in my prayers. i dont think anything can prepare me for the loss of another parent. am i supposed to b ready for this? if so...i cant say i feel it. chemo is suppose to extend her life...but i dont see it giving her any quality. all i know is that all the joy in my life has left..it is replaced with a knawing sorrow of what is eniveitable. i understand what its like to not b able to do anything for someone whom u love n cant......... the uneviable position of feelin helpless ....

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Fire}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}....as my beautiful BFF deb said..there are no words except the love, comfort, and support we each offer here. Make every moment you have with her a memory. Tell her of your love for here every chance you get. Sometimes a hug does wonders.
I know this is a tragic journey, heartbreaking...to feel so helpless, powerless to make things all better for your mom....but know we here send you love, support, and feel free to come and vent here anytime. May your mom and you find comfort and peace within for this journey. Perhaps a support group in your area...there are some incredible people there as well who could walk with you in this journey...ask the local SW at the hospital...I care....

[mustangjeano]

Originally Posted by FireheartForever

~ my mother has cancer ~

while she is not meant to b with me much longer, i find myself @ a loss as to ask god what i can say for her in my prayers. i dont think anything can prepare me for the loss of another parent. am i supposed to b ready for this? if so...i cant say i feel it. chemo is suppose to extend her life...but i dont see it giving her any quality. all i know is that all the joy in my life has left..it is replaced with a knawing sorrow of what is eniveitable. i understand what its like to not b able to do anything for someone whom u love n cant......... the uneviable position of feelin helpless ....

Fireheart thank you for posting and sharing so intimately your feelings at this horribly sad and difficult time. All you can do at this time is the best you can give at any given time--some days it will be a lot and others maybe less. I know what you mean about not being ready for your Mom to leave--it's always too soon. Please know that she will always be with you--I often feel my Mom's presence. Please post whenever you want us--there are so many great, compassionate, loving people here. You and your Mom are in my thoughts and prayers. Jeano

[goodlilfemme]

(((((((((((((fireheart))))))))))))))))))))) major hugs for you . know that your absolutely not alone in dealing with your feelings right now. know that im thinking of you and wishing for comfort for you , always goodlilfemme

Originally Posted by mustangjeano

Fireheart thank you for posting and sharing so intimately your feelings at this horribly sad and difficult time. All you can do at this time is the best you can give at any given time--some days it will be a lot and others maybe less. I know what you mean about not being ready for your Mom to leave--it's always too soon. Please know that she will always be with you--I often feel my Mom's presence. Please post whenever you want us--there are so many great, compassionate, loving people here. You and your Mom are in my thoughts and prayers. Jeano

[clay]

((((((((((((((((((((((deb u taunt)))))))))))))))))))))))....

[deb0670]

Thank You for this Spirit Dancer.
It is exactly what i did when Ethan had Cancer.

Originally Posted by Spirit Dancer

As a caregiver I want to post and to enlighten those who've never dealt with Cancer or any other long term chronic illness.
Your caregiver is the one who, gets every imaginable throwback, the happy days, sad days, angry days,
the I don't want to go on days and the days.
The days with good news, bad news and no news.
If there is a change we are there, we clean and cook,
we bathe and care for our loved ones.
Out of love, we are there.
We allow them to shed tears even when we hide our own,
we laugh, we share and in the most heart breaking cases
we watch them cross over.

We are tired, worn out sleep deprived but we march on.
They depend on us, for we are their Nurses, their Pharmacy, their Cooks, their Transporters and their advocate,
we get things done when they cannot. They trust us and confide in us
and we stay strong for them, giving them encouragement even on the darkest days.
Not every Cancer patient has multiple caregivers,
so when people think that caregiver is short, or curt, flighty, in a hurry.
Give some consideration they might be on day three, with only six hours of sleep, in 72 hours and multitasking to no end just to make sure their loved ones get the care they so richly deserve.

[deb0670]

I have spent the last hour reading this thread, wishing i would have found it sooner. I have not experienced Cancer first hand,. but have been the Caregiver of Ethan when He was diagnosed with Endometrial Cancer. It was a huge scare for Him, and for me.. and our daughter.
i had to be the strength and the glue that held us all together.
He had a complete radical Hysterectomy and they caught it soon enough so He did not need Radiation nor Chemo. He is doing good now.

I found out a few months back about my step dad having Bladder Cancer and it has spread to his lymph nodes. He tried doing Chemo twice and his white blood cells diminished too badly both times, so they refuse to do more. He had a router rooter type procedure done where they went thru his urethra up to his prostrate and cleaned him out so he could urinate better.. but .. there is nothing else they can do for him
My mom is having such a hard time with all this. He is the first and only man my mom was ever in love with.
It hurts me to see her deal with this.. and me being all the way in GA and her being in Cali.
i am waiting for the call or the text or FB message to let me know when i(we) have to plan a trip there.

I want to wish all who have/had cancer.... and all of their/us caregivers hope and happiness and love.
my prayers and support are with you.
Sorry for the ramblings..

[Genesis]

Originally Posted by Spirit Dancer

Thank you Andrew for starting this thread
As a caregiver I want to post and to enlighten those who've never dealt with Cancer or any other long term chronic illness.
Your caregiver is the one who, gets every imaginable throwback, the happy days, sad days, angry days,
the I don't want to go on days and the days.
The days with good news, bad news and no news.
If there is a change we are there, we clean and cook,
we bathe and care for our loved ones.
Out of love, we are there.
We allow them to shed tears even when we hide our own,
we laugh, we share and in the most heart breaking cases
we watch them cross over.

We are tired, worn out sleep deprived but we march on.
They depend on us, for we are their Nurses, their Pharmacy, their Cooks, their Transporters and their advocate,
we get things done when they cannot. They trust us and confide in us
and we stay strong for them, giving them encouragement even on the darkest days.
Not every Cancer patient has multiple caregivers,
so when people think that caregiver is short, or curt, flighty, in a hurry.
Give some consideration they might be on day three, with only six hours of sleep, in 72 hours and multitasking to no end just to make sure their loved ones get the care they so richly deserve.

I could have never said this more eloquently than you did, Spirit Dancer...
I am the caregiver for my Mom who has multiple myeloma. There will be no remission for her... just keeping her quality of life as best as it can be....

[Tommi]

Originally Posted by Genesis

I could have never said this more eloquently than you did, Spirit Dancer...
I am the caregiver for my Mom who has multiple myeloma. There will be no remission for her... just keeping her quality of life as best as it can be....

Genesis,
Sending Best wishes and sharing some strength with you. Sorry to hear about your Mom's condition. Knowing she has love and someone to listen and care are the gifts you can give. Please come back and let us know how you are doing.

[Genesis]

Originally Posted by Tommi

Genesis,
Sending Best wishes and sharing some strength with you. Sorry to hear about your Mom's condition. Knowing she has love and someone to listen and care are the gifts you can give. Please come back and let us know how you are doing.

Tommi, thank you for your kind words. I took her to get a pet scan of her whole body and earlier today to get a ct scan of her stomach and pelvic area... We meet with her Oncologist and Primary in two weeks to see how it goes... the pain in her stomach keeps getting worse... will see how it all turns out... also sending my prayers and positive energy to everyone in this group...Tommi I'm rooting you get good news on the 19th... hang in thea...

[Tommi]

Originally Posted by Genesis

Tommi, thank you for your kind words. I took her to get a pet scan of her whole body and earlier today to get a ct scan of her stomach and pelvic area... We meet with her Oncologist and Primary in two weeks to see how it goes... the pain in her stomach keeps getting worse... will see how it all turns out... also sending my prayers and positive energy to everyone in this group...Tommi I'm rooting you get good news on the 19th... hang in thea...

Glad to see the "we" in your post. It is great to have someone that isn't afraid to be with you when you have these scary things going on. Just to ride with, chat with, talk abut nothing. Enjoy the silence with her as her mind encompasses the things we never ever thought about, never ever planned in our daytimer or on a calender as part of that day to day routine of living the real life.

Thanks for the hi 5, and PLEASE come on in here and let us know how she is, and ....also importantly, how you are, even if it is a drove by hello.
Adding "Genesis Special One" to the special peeps list that we keep in our daily thoughts and prayers here in the unique club, we never wanted to join. Let her know there is special energy of strangers around the Planet that are pulling for her. (*strange~ not me though)

[Genesis]

Tommi, again, thank you for the kind words. It means a lot. My Mom has her husband (my Father) and me during this process. I am beyond bless and fortunate that he is part of our support system. My heart and love goes out to all the caretakers out there who are only themselves. It's tough... As of right now my Mom is going as good as she can with her current condition. As for me... am evolving... just taking things in stride...the thing I always keep in the forefront of my mind is that she is the one going through it and if she can manage to get up each morning, be happy and smile, I got no choice but to do the same. My prayers and love and positive energy to every single person in this group going through the journey or being a companion along the way....

Originally Posted by Tommi

Glad to see the "we" in your post. It is great to have someone that isn't afraid to be with you when you have these scary things going on. Just to ride with, chat with, talk abut nothing. Enjoy the silence with her as her mind encompasses the things we never ever thought about, never ever planned in our daytimer or on a calender as part of that day to day routine of living the real life.

Thanks for the hi 5, and PLEASE come on in here and let us know how she is, and ....also importantly, how you are, even if it is a drove by hello.
Adding "Genesis Special One" to the special peeps list that we keep in our daily thoughts and prayers here in the unique club, we never wanted to join. Let her know there is special energy of strangers around the Planet that are pulling for her. (*strange~ not me though)

[Italian_Girl]

Not sure if I am doing this right it's my first time posting and not sure how to so if I put this in the wrong place or did something wrong please excuse me.

I am also a caregiver have been for many years. I have seen many people pass from all kinds of cancer and whatnot. It wasn't until I had to stop caring for strangers and cared for my mom that it had affected me. She was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and passed away within 4 months. Since then I have kinda distanced myself with people and am not able to connect emotionally I just kind of go through the motions (except for my girlfriend/friend) not sure how to get over it or if I can.
My mom passed away almost 3 years ago. Her birthday is tomorrow she would have been 71 her 3 yr anniversary of her death is January 6th at noon. I was the one who pronounced her death and wont ever forget that day. I am now living with my Dad and looking after him but still am a caregiver for a close family member as well. They say it gets easier with time but for me it seems to be getting worse. I just keep detaching. Never felt more alone. Thinking about giving up the caregiving but spent so much of my life doing it my other skills are too old and not updated for work as anything else.

[Genesis]

Italian Girl ~hugs tightly~ I am so sorry for your loss... My condolences... The process of loss for each individual is so unique and so personal, that only as you go through this journey, you will know how it feels and how it will play out. Have you considered counseling or group therapy? I will be more than glad to listen if you need to talk... It is admirable that you are now taking care of your Father and another family member... but also remember you got to take care of you... if you don't take care of you... then who will? My prayers and positive energy for you and your loved ones...

Originally Posted by Italian_Girl

Not sure if I am doing this right it's my first time posting and not sure how to so if I put this in the wrong place or did something wrong please excuse me.

I am also a caregiver have been for many years. I have seen many people pass from all kinds of cancer and whatnot. It wasn't until I had to stop caring for strangers and cared for my mom that it had affected me. She was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and passed away within 4 months. Since then I have kinda distanced myself with people and am not able to connect emotionally I just kind of go through the motions (except for my girlfriend/friend) not sure how to get over it or if I can.
My mom passed away almost 3 years ago. Her birthday is tomorrow she would have been 71 her 3 yr anniversary of her death is January 6th at noon. I was the one who pronounced her death and wont ever forget that day. I am now living with my Dad and looking after him but still am a caregiver for a close family member as well. They say it gets easier with time but for me it seems to be getting worse. I just keep detaching. Never felt more alone. Thinking about giving up the caregiving but spent so much of my life doing it my other skills are too old and not updated for work as anything else.

[clay]

My biopsies were all clean. NO malignancy! YAY!

I see my Oncologist next week for tumor marker levels and my regular 3 month FU.

Thanks for all the kind words, warm hugs, and loving support from all of you here..means the world to me.... I <3 you all...

[Tommi]

Originally Posted by clay

My biopsies were all clean. NO malignancy! YAY!

I see my Oncologist next week for tumor marker levels and my regular 3 month FU.

Thanks for all the kind words, warm hugs, and loving support from all of you here..means the world to me.... I <3 you all...

Yeah clay.

..

[julieisafemme]

Genesis and Italian Girl I am thinking of you. Caregiving is so hard. Kudos to you Italian Girl for caring for strangers. That must be a very hard job. I really miss my Mom a lot today. I am so blessed that I was there to take care of her in her last year. We have a large family and there was lots of support. My nephew graduated middle school last night and we all missed her so much. All of you caregivers out there please take care of yourselves as much as possible.